Severe wobble

[emmakc]

My consultant just phoned me, he's received a letter from my GP saying that my GP doesn't agree with the surgery and he's said we may have to postpone.

I'm 5ft 3 and was 16st 3lb when I decided to go for the surgery so I'm not huge but I've tried everything under the sun to loose weight including a diet where they did my blood test and charged me over £400, hypnoband, WW, SW, cambridge, lighterlife - you name it I've done it! Over the past few years I've just got bigger and bigger.

Now I'm doubting myself, I'm asking myself if I'm doing the right thing or whether I should just sack the whole thing off. The problem is, im not sure whether I'm feeling this way because I'm scared (surgery is next Friday) or whether its because I genuinely think I might be making a mistake.

I've got three children (two still in nappies) and I was already scared that I wont' be well enough to look after them for months after the op and that I'll regret having it done.

Does everyone feel like this before surgery anyway? I don't want to use the suggestion of postponing as a reason to cancel but I don't want to make a mistake either. I'm in such a mess.

Sorry for the rambling rant everyone.

 

[top_kat]

Can I just say, I feel like you do. As a single mum, I relate to those thoughts and fears in relation to my son.

My GP, doesn't agree with the surgery anyway. When I brought it up, they actually physically laughed saying "thats drastic" . . .well yes . . .it is . . .but so is my health and the way I am living and struggling. I had tried everything, they signed me off to do lighter life then it was my GP who ordered me to stop it because it made me so desperately ill. You'd think they "got it".

So, one of the reasons I have gone private and who I have gone with, I didnt need any referral or contact from my GP. And there was also a place on my forms to tick "no GP contact" which is what I have done.

I hope you do what is right for you.

 

[Tracey1404]

Hi. I do sympathise, all WLS is a serious decision for anyone. It really does have to be your decision at the end of the day having listened to a range of advice. I started out wanting a gastric sleeve but revised my decision to a band so that it was reversible if I ever wanted tht choice. That was my decision based on many hours of deliberation. I think you need to listen to how you feel and be honest. If you remain confused I'd be inclined to do nothing until you are 100%. If. You are already decided then go ahead as you wish. Good luck withi your decision sure it will be right for you. Tracey xxx

 

[Nellyphant]

I don't understand why they would postpone 'cos your GP doesn't agree. My team didn't even contact my GP. I've been on the NHS waiting list for over a year before we decided to go private so I knew my GP was okay with it.

I hope it all works out for you.

 

[shelleymarie]

You definitely need to be sure before you go ahead but I wouldn't base that on your gp's approval. You do need a GP that will take care of you after your bypass because your team isn't there for everything, they don't do the follow up blood tests etc. You GP needs to monitor your general wellbeing and you also need to be able to talk to him/her if there is a problem but they don't have to approve. If you want this operation, then you can either have it without your GP's approval (I'm pretty sure as long as you GP will still treat you the hospital with do it and I'm sure they have to legally treat you anyway) or you can change GP's for someone more supportive. I did that after years of rubbish advice and tellings off from my GP, my next one was proactive and supportive. Maybe yours would be too. Good luck what ever you decide x

 

[Crackers169]

Hi Emma
My stats are fairly similar to you - started at 16 stone 3, had a gastric sleeve on 8th December and now weigh 11 st with about another 20 lbs to go to be at my target. I have 2 boys aged 7 and 4, and I wanted to be a more active mum and enjoy my life with them at this precious time.
My GP was supportive, as was my diabetes team, but I was never going to get NHS funding in this financial climate. I went private and am so happy to have made that decision.
I would say find yourself a new GP if you can!
Only you know whether you can lose the weight without the op, I know I needed the help.
Best wishes with whatever you decide.
Crackers x

 

[chrisa]

Oh Emma what a dilemma, I personally of you fel you have tried everythign and feel like you have no other avenue then go for it, your gp shouldn't really come into it if you are private, however if you hould ned after care then you will need some gp help, so you will have to decide wether to change docs or pracice, see the practice manager and see what they have to say they can be really helpful, I once had to do that myself. My gp was good at referring me but between the hosp and gp after that was bloody nightmare neither knew what was happening next when or where, after the op my gp can help me with very little basic medication questions he has had difficulty answering and told me to ask at hospital, I have had to go and ak to have my bloods checked because i was feeling so tired, thye have come back normal but i had to ring up to know that has been nothing else fromgp, couldn't care less really about me, probably just a drain on his budget, so don't worry too much on that score, lot of gp's know very little bout bariatric surgery, and are unsure bout how they can help sooooo, the decision is yours whatever you choose to do people on her will understand, and support you. God Bless you, hope you make a decision soon. xx( MY advice for what its worth is go for it) xx

 

[emmakc]

Thanks everyone, well last night I phoned my provider and cancelled saying I was going to give diet another chance. Then I ate ice cream and toast. This morning, I woke up thinking WTF did I cancel and eat as now I'm not sure I did the right thing by cancelling.

The problem is I'm having trouble at work (I'm being bullied, seems strange saying that as I'm 35 and left school so long ago). Its been going on for the past three weeks and its making me so down. I only work three days per week, I have Fridays and Monday off.

Yesterday, I was worried sick about coming back to work today (I left early on Thursday in tears), I got my dreaded period and I got a call from the consultant about my GP's letter [plus I was day 5 pre-op diet lol). I think it was all too much for me.

 

[chrisa]

Goodness me what a lot to cope with all at once no wonder you are feeling the way you do, its no wonder the pressure you have at the minute. I have had a similar problem at work over the last 2 years I thought at 1st it was me going through the menopause but it wasn't then cam emy op last year, this year and just before Christmas I have challenged both girls but nothing has changed cam eto the poin twhere I had to tell people higher at work and now have been moved out of thta dept. and now starting back doing things i used to do bout 4 yrs ago,scary but wihtout people belittling you and making you feel worthless and talking over the top of you me being 46 now and them both being 42 n 38, treat me like alittle kid at times we were 3 big personalities but that has gone now when i broke up 3 weeks ago I was very low and had a few days away planned with the girls i couldnt even look forwrd to that i was soo down but it did me the world of good, SEpt will be a new challenge for me and it will feel strange at first but hopefully will be better for me, so it can still happen for you everything thta has been worrying you can be sorted and squared up I am a firm beleiver in prayer and thtas what gets me through and good friends who also pray for me. Good luck with the next few weeks don't beta yourself up just get it sorted the best way you can seek help from others you cant always do it alone,, you need support. xx take care xx

 

[shelleymarie]

Oh hun, I feel for you I really do. I was bullied work from when I was younger by my boss. The daily jibes and being made to feeling inadequate made my weight balloon and my confidence dip so severely I just walk out and never went back. Something I was not the sort of person to do that but after 5 years I couldn't take it any more. It took years to recover from it because I kept it to myself and suffered through it so long. I think you've made the right decision to cancel at the moment, I don't think you are in the right frame of mind for it to be a success right now. Instead I think you should see your GP or another one if you're not happy with your current one after this and talk about other options, and I think some kind of counselling therapy should be top of the list. I would also talk to the CAB about where you stand when it comes to bullying at work. I never spoke out or got advice about mine and my bully got away with nearly destroying my life, don't let yours do the same. There must be options out there to help you and the counselling could really help you get on top of the emotional eating too. You might find you are then ready to do it alone again or you might find then you are ready for wls surgery. What ever the case you will be better prepared. All the best x

 

[Nickynoodles]

Hi Emmakc

I am sorry to hear you are so distressed, big hugs and keep yer chin up hun ....

I agree with Shelleymarie that you need more time before you have the operation and counselling would be a good option.

I found myself a private counsellor and have been going for over a year now. I now feel fully prepared for my operation, emotionally and physically and i am sticking to the pre op diet..

I wish you all the best

Nicky xx

 

[emmakc]

Thanks everyone, now I'm kinda gutted that I cancelled. Work is no better but I need to suck it up and just look for another job. Its hard though as I only want to work part-time and part-time jobs are hard to come by.

The practice nurse referred me for CBT but they refused to take me on as I wasn't miserable enough! I had to fill out a chart, the only thing that really gets me down in life is my weight and they said that emotionally I wasn't down enough. Bloody feel down enough at the moment I can tell you.

Funny how life can go from being pretty great to feeling crappy in a matter of weeks! Fingers crossed I'll win the lottery on Friday and then can tell them where to stick it!

Nickynoodles - good luck with your op hun, I'll be thinking of you. I'd love to hear how it goes afterwards - esp how long it took until you felt like yourself (not talking about food, just up and about adn feeling healthy lol).

 

[dottydalmation]

Only. You understand how you feel about your weight and what you need to do. My GP supported my band originally but when it went wrong12 years later and I said I wanted a bypass she said it was barbaric! I went ahead and now she says it fab and what do I need her to do. When they see you happy and results they soon change their mind. It's often as my GP confessed later she didn't understand the surgery and what her role was, but as long as I told her what I needed she was happy.