should I? Shouldn't I? Am I weak for even thinking about this?

[sammy1]

Hello everyone,

If I start with the physiology first....5 ft 4, probably 19 st now or roundabout, and based on that my BMI is 45!!!! I, apparently, have a sugar addiction. I've been on diets since I was 12 years old. Food has been my comfort and my worst enemy. I am forty this year and I have three young children. I would go to the ends of the earth for them, so why can't I sort my weight out for them too? I feel so ashamed that I can't do it myself and that I'm thinking of having a gastric band. What if something goes wrong? So many worries. Part of me feels like this would be the greatest thing I could do for myself and my family, to regain control of my weight which feels so far gone now I think subconsciously I have given up! I would really appreciate some advice and your input, so that I can make an informed decision.

I admire anyone who has this surgery done. I guess this is a big sacrifice. So why can I not stop beating myself up that this is the wrong thing to do?

Help!

 

[Beegee]

I have always thought of bariatric surgery as a cheats way.. but I am 44 years old and have been overweight for 80% of my life. I am a classic yo yo.. I need to loose weight as I have recently been diagnosed with type II diabetes.. I have tried on my own and the weight is coming off and going back on again. I decided enough was enough and sort help from my GP who forced me to see the bariatric team. I sat in the chair sulking, petulant insistent that I was not going to have surgery.. but at the end of the consultation I said I would consider it. Now after quite a bit of research I think it is probably the best thing for me. Surgery is not an easy option.. it is not a cheat.. you still have to work very hard at it but if you use the tool properly the weight is gone for good. If I do that and live to a rip old age I would have been overweight for 45% of my life and very happy for the rest of it.

Good luck .. what ever decision you make.

 

[tiili]

Hi Sammy,

I completely understand your ambivalent feelings, I was (to an extent still am) also very conflicted. Nobody can tell you what to do, it has to be your decision, but my advice would be to simply start doing as much research as you possibly can. Utilise this great forum and the wealth of knowledge and experience the people here have. Make sure you get all sides, good and bad. Making this decision is a process, it is not something you do overnight. Eventually it will become much clearer to you which path is the right for you.

To give you a quick overview of my story: it was my gp who one day offered to refer me to the bariatric team. I completely panicked, the idea of surgery seemed almost..grotesque to me. Previously I had always envied people who got weight loss surgery, but when you yourself is presented with the option and it becomes so real you get a whole different perspective! It IS a scary decision to make.

When the date came for my consultation I was a complete mess. Partly because I have a slight phobia of doctors and hospitals, but mostly because this all has stirred up so many emotions given that there is a lot of pain and unresolved issues attached to my weight problem. I almost didn't go through with it - I locked myself in the loo at the hospital and called my friend crying like a baby.

I cried my way through the meeting with my consultant as well. Thankfully he was very understanding. Given how upset I was at the thought of surgery he suggested I should try a 6-month gastric balloon instead to begin with (which is inserted under sedation during an endoscopy). So that is what I am now waiting for (due in a couple of weeks).

I have been very reluctant to the idea of surgery, but am starting to come around to the idea. I have even told my consultant this, and that I'd like to discuss the option of moving on to surgery after my balloon at our next appointment). I am still not 100% sure that is the route I will eventually take (and obviously I would need to get approved first) and I am not saying that is the route you should be taking - what I'm saying is that my advice to you would be to simply take baby steps and do your research. Talk to as many people as you can who have been through this and make sure you get all sides. I deliberately searched for horror stories as well, and even forced myself to watch a video of a gastric sleeve surgery with the rationale that "if I even after this still feel like asking my consultant to refer me for surgery, I can be sure it really is what I want".

I still think this is all bloody scary and I'm still not sure whether I will have surgery or not - but I am definitely thinking about all of this in a very different way from when I first set my foot in this forum. The panicky haze has lifted and I am starting to feel comfortable with making a final decision.

Take your time! Looking forward to following your journey, whichever path you end up taking xx

 

[femfrankie]

It is healthy to be both doubtful, scared & in my case a feeling of "I don't deserve this opportunity to make my life easier". But an easy option it is not! I have worked damn hard just to get to this point & to lose nearly 8st. I haven't even had the op yet! A balloon yes but not the big O. In the past two weeks I feel the balloon restriction has almost gone so I am now on my own again with maintaining that loss until I do get surgery. That should hopefully by mid August when the space hopper is due to be removed and go on to get the bypass. I am excited to be so close to beginning a new phase and a new me but I am also undeniably :censored: scared. Often I will be going about my daily routine when out of the blue I get a case of the collywobbles.
The first discussions you have with any medic as regards WLS tend to be fraught. I went through so many moods defensive, obstinate, tearful, desperate. You name it, but I was a total mess. I was just about to become a grandmother for the first time and docs where telling me that i was facing life in a wheelchair, my heart was suffering and putting it mildly "I was a ticking time bomb" (Their words not mine) ...I was facing the toughest decision in my life.... I either took this golden opportunity that could essentially end my life if it went diddy up (rare we know but things can go wrong) or accept that my life was going to end shortly anyway because of my health and 68 BMI. There really was no argument. I chose Life.
Now 8 st down with a beautiful 10mth old granddaughter I am actually enjoying the new me ok I am not perfect and with a bmi of 49 i still have such a long way to go yet but I can't wait for round two.. But as i said i do still have my scary moments. Good luck with what ever you decide. It is your choice to make and only you can make it. Always be honest with yourself. Make a good, down to earth, honest list of the pros and cons of it all and take it from there. Good luck

 

[Lincs Lass]

I echo TOTALLY what the others have said. It is a big decision but it isn't an easy option.

You are not weak in the slightest thinking about this - you are thinking about the future you want with your family.

Have a read round these forums and you will see all sorts of fears, worries, moods going on. And this is a great place to get common sense, practical and 'real life' answers xx