sister does not agree??? how did your family respond

[kaycee00]

hello i need a bit of advise please, i am on the list for a gastric bypass ,most of my family are very suportive but my sister keeps on saying that i should not do it and keeps on telling me all of the negative points ..:wave_cry: i have tryed to talk to her but she wont listen .. ideas would be gr8 .also love to her how your familys took the news ...thank for the help

 

[girly girl]

Hi sorry your having such trouble with your sis im having the same with my mam every time i go she trys to feed me choc or crisps i just keep telling her i dont want to die from being to fat and that this is a last go at lossing it after trying for 5y on my own i can not do i some help (band)
I just keep telling myself if she loves me like she says she dos then she will get it in the end
just try not to fall out about
i no you might want to give her a thump but she wont get how much you need this like you do
best of luck
(sorry about spelling)

 

[teen]

My family were great and very supportive and if they had been opposite I would have just said well its my life and Im doing it

 

[tesmaralda]

with people like this it normally ignorance either print some stuff off the internet or give her some sites to look at. My best friend and her hubby and their family was like that however since the op they have realised it was absolutely the right decission for me and have come round to the idea.

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

you have to stand up to her and tell her that your doing this to improve "your" quality of life, do this for you and only you and the only person you need to please, is you and nobody else, please dont let others sway your decision.

liz x

 

[CHUCKY]

my family are so supportive especially my brother who had bypass year ago and has lost 11 stone he is such an inspiration

julie x

 

[quetiapina]

I'm lucky in that all of my family have been supportive of my decision ( my parents to the point of ill-disguised relief!). I think they new that after years of yo-yoing it could not go on.

Hope your situation gets better x

 

[kaycee00]

i no its the best thing for me and the rest of my family are suporting me , it just makes me sad as we are so close .. maby its because we are both big (i am bigger)and i am doing somthing about it .. i dont no ..hope we can work it out ,i need her suport ..thanks ladys

 

[Silversurfer]

Someone quite wise said to me a while back:

"No one understands or cares what its like to be you, no one is going to walk in your shoes"

Wise words

 

[kaycee00]

thats so true silversurfer xx

 

[katherineo1]

Hi Kaycee,
my sister kept telling me she 'had a bad feeling about this' (I have had a band op) and my mum rang me and went on and on with tales of death etc right up till the night before my op (I literally held the phone away from my ear! ) Some people are just very negative.
Once your mind is made up its made up. That doesn't mean to say that negative comments dont scare or unsettle you .. of course they do .. but you have to follow your heart. I am soo glad I have my band x

 

[kaycee00]

thank for the suport i need it , i am gona print some info for her even if she says she has read it all , nothing i can tell her that she dont no ect ...

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

maybe take her along to a local support group and she can meet a few patients thats been through this and if she see's the resullts and hears it from the horses mouth she may change her outlook on this.

 

[kaycee00]

good thinking 2.b.a.n.d.s.l.i.z ..defo gona try that , thanks

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

your welcome kay, and she can ask the post oppers any thing that concerns her about you having this op, and it will be a good opertunity for you as well x

 

[zetacatty]

Hi kaycee, sorry to hear that you are not getting support from your sister - but it's only because she loves you and is scared. My husband and two sons are both against it, my mother is scared and my sister is backing me all the way. My husband and sons have stopped making negative comments now because they realise that I'm not going to change my mind - they just don't say anything now. I printed off Brunetteandred's blog for my husband to read - just to show him that I'm going into this with my eyes open. He hasn't read the hospital literature but he read that and was impressed. I know my family is still scared and will be until after the op when I'm home safe and sound and I'm sure it will be the same for your sister. She just doesn't want to see you 'putting yourself in danger' but I'm sure she knows in her heart that staying overweight is far more dangerous. Do loads of research so that you'll always have an answer for the negative comments. Good luck, Zxx

 

[mosher.mum]

I agree with Zetacatty.
Your sister loves you and doesn't want to lose you, not that she will of course.
My husband and mother were the same.
Although my hubby was supportive he did have a little cry one morning and admitted it was because he didn't want to lose me. I explained that the chances of losing me to a weight related illness was much more likely and the wls was my last chance after a lifetime of yoyo dieting.
My mum made it quite obvious that she was against the surgery, she too has battled with her weight for most of her life and is now crippled with arthritis. She cried on the morning I left for my surgery as if she would never see me again, but you have to be strong and after reading as much as you can you are very unlikely to have made the decision to have surgery lightly.
We have all researched and researched some more because we know it is a life changing experience not just for ourselves but our families too, so the best thing to do is prepare yourself and be able to answer all your sisters questions and fears.
Good luck and remember she is probably worried about you.
Wendy. xXx

 

[emmarfrost]

Im sorry she is being unsupportive, my family were the same.I think its more concern for our safety with having surgery than a total disagreeance with the procedure and its future benefits itself.I hope she comes round soon.Ultimately its your body, and your decision so stick to your guns.
My line to my family when i told them was 'Im not asking for you to agree with me having it, and I dont want your blessing, just love me and support my decision to do this for me'
That worked for me xxx

 

[dreamofbeingslim]

My mum and my twin sister both don't want me to have this surgery. I know it is because they love me and are worried that they may loose me. I have tried explaining to them that my health could deteriate and they could loose me that way but they still don't seem to understand how desperate I am. My twin is managing to loose weight with slimming world but I just don't seem to be able to loose it and keep it off. I have tried every diet going over the years. Last year I was under the obesity clinic and managed to loose 3 stone on the milk diet but as soon as I started to eat it slowly crept back on. I don't think people realise how much research we have all done about the surgery good and bad and its up to us to weigh up the risk. My husband is totally behind me all the way so much so that he says he might go for it after me. To me the only thing now is bypass just hope the pct fund it.

 

[Red 42]

My Sister was opposed to my banding but once I explained the procedure to her and she realised I'd done my homework and wasn't going in blindly was behind me 100%, My Parents were 'not suprised, but worried' and my in laws, who I thought would have been most negative have been really supportive.

An Aunt of my Husbands saw me at the weekend 5 days post op, and told me she thought I was marvellous and very brave...I'd never considered myself to be brave but I guess we are for choosing this route...it wasn't gone into lightly.

saying that...in the week since my banding, on 3 occasions, my Mum has chosen to inform me how 'scrawny' she thinks Fern Britton is looking
so guess what I've got to look forward to in the near future

bring it on:Na_Na_Na_Na: