the wife

[bigun]

hi gang
well after a bank holiday monday trip to the sea side on the way home the wife asked me if when i loose the weight would i leave her (in her words) a skinny bird so after a long chat on the way home trying to convince her i would not leave her or a thinner modle may be a younger one :8855: lol

has any one else had there partner ask the same question???

 

[liggielass]

no as my husband has also lost 2 stone and is still lighter than me huh lol xxxxxxxx

 

[TwinkleTwinkle]

What are you like, Bigun What you meant to say was "of course not darling, big or small, young or old, no one compares to you", soooo once again with feeling, or it may be you who loses feeling in certain areas, know wot I mean

 

[bigun]

the silly moo knows i love her to bits but i think she feels that cos she is big me loosing the weight i wont like her size but i love her for who she is not wat she looks like

 

[TwinkleTwinkle]

Ahhhhh why are there not more men like you

 

[SARAH S]

There are a few about....If only we could find them

 

[mandym1]

My husband worried about this before my surgery. He is very fit and healthy and doesnt have a weight problem, he loves my curves but thought when I lost them I would love the extra attention and wonder what I had been missing out on. He doesnt think this now as Ive convinced him I was doing this for us both not just me. I want a fuller life with him! He would have ended up caring for me if I carried on the way I was. All our activities/holidays were so limited because of my weight. I think its natural for your wife to feel like this as your going to be a new person (physically) and its scary to think your not going to be the same. Without wanting to lower the tone ALL aspects of our marriage have improved and I'm only 8 weeks post op He cant keep his hands off me and I love it!! Tell your wife shes got a lot to look forward to xxx

 

[bigun]

they broke the mold on me t get me out lol

 

[phatmomma]

I have to say i think my husband is a little insecure now, but then he was when we met. Personal history has done this to him with his previous partner cheating and leaving... However he knows i love him to bits and if he ever looks at another woman it will be BITS!

But seriously it is well documented that i was the one worrying about him leaving me! He met me at 291lbs and loved every round inch of me. His preference is for chunky monkeys and i do worry about this still but not as much as i did 85lbs heavier. As i said before, i needed to lose this weight for me, and no way i'd have stayed heavy to please a man. I want to live my life and die old, not fat!

Reassurance is the best way to go...

Just as a matter of interest has your wife considered wls? Or is she not worried about her health now or in the future?

 

[jema]

My hubby often mentions it to me, though very supportive at the same time. His first wife was a big girl then joined w.w and lost a load of weight, then had an affair. They divorced around 2 years after her weight loss. All I do is reassure him I'm not the same, but sometimes this isn't enough. I do joke about it sometimes, but I know when he can take the joke.
I also wonder if he'll go off me if I end up skinny coz he 'looks' at curvier girls, though he says he couldn't dream of even holding someone elses hand...
I just think I need to take that risk otherwise he'll have to hold someone elses hand coz I won't be here.

I love my hubby to the stars and back again.

 

[bigun]

the wife has said that she is happy as she is i have left her the info i got but she gets a bits nasty say i should not try and change her she has never gone out with any 1under 25 stone and has said she do t like thin guys cos theres nothing to love like i have told her i will have lots of skin so i dont think i would get a skinny girl i loves her but she needs to get this out of her mind and look forward to the thinner me

 

[starr]

aw bigun,,,im sure as you lose the pounds and shes there ,helping you when your sick and seeing you go through the surgery,youl love and need her more than ever,,and vice versa,,,ofcourse some people split up , thats sadly how life is ,,as weve seen with some lovely people on here,they get hurt ,but that dont mean you will,,she sounds like shes just scared of losing you ,,we all have insecurities eh?,,so lots of extra cuddles , and reassurance that your doing this for her as much as you ,so you have each other longer ,to love her for as many years as possible ,i hope the two of you have a wonderful journey together xxxx

 

[phatmomma]

My hubby often mentions it to me, though very supportive at the same time. His first wife was a big girl then joined w.w and lost a load of weight, then had an affair. They divorced around 2 years after her weight loss. All I do is reassure him I'm not the same, but sometimes this isn't enough. I do joke about it sometimes, but I know when he can take the joke.
I also wonder if he'll go off me if I end up skinny coz he 'looks' at curvier girls, though he says he couldn't dream of even holding someone elses hand...
I just think I need to take that risk otherwise he'll have to hold someone elses hand coz I won't be here.

I love my hubby to the stars and back again.

Lol, i was exactly the same as you Jema. My hubby loves his bbw's but i too decided 'my life was more important than his preference for the flabby bits'... My hubby and i have a standing joke when we pass a good looking bbw, i usually poke him, give him the nod and say 'happy birthday', thats his treat for the day lol ...

Fortunately although my first hubby was unfaithful and we seperated, i don't have any insecurities and refuse to get any. If he aint happy, as much as i love him, he can walk.... But i don't think he will cos i'm just too darn wonderful xx

 

[mariew]

My hubby is just the same, he thinks when I lose weight I am going to go off with another man! I had him reassured but other people can't keep their comments to themselves, loads of his mates and even his son have made comments like isn't he worried that I'll clear off etc. I wish they would keep it to themselves, I know they are saying it in jest but it really isn't funny.

 

[Karlos]

My lovely lady did have a little insecurity for a while, which is nuts, this woman is simply gorgeous and has always been way way above my league. For the 36 years that we have been together I have never once forgotten how lucky I am to have her at my side.

I told her that leaving her now just because I'd lost a few pounds, when she had put up with me being the size of a baby blue whale for fifteen years would be just plain rude

 

[tink1974]

My husband was the same, from the moment i mentioned wls years ago. Sadly in my case, it hasnt worked out. We have been through counselling to see if we had anything to work with. I think it all depends on why you're with someone in the 1st place. If you're with them cos you love them truly, there should be nothing to worry about.
Having gone through marriage counselling this year, we both realise that we got together because we both needed someone to help us. He had been through an acrimonious separation and I had virtually no self esteem, partly because of my weight. At the time we helped each other but over the years we grew more and more apart, not enjoying each others company, not talking etc etc. Its only since losing weight and developing my self esteem that I have had the strength to speak out and say how unhappy I have been. Through counselling he has also been able to say how unhappy he has been.

Your wife will know you love her from how your lives are, how you interact with each other, what time you spend together. That wont change just cos you lose weight. Things will just get better.

 

[chubby funster]

My lovely lady did have a little insecurity for a while, which is nuts, this woman is simply gorgeous and has always been way way above my league. For the 36 years that we have been together I have never once forgotten how lucky I am to have her at my side.

I told her that leaving her now just because I'd lost a few pounds, when she had put up with me being the size of a baby blue whale for fifteen years would be just plain rude

Ha ha baby blue whale!! I feel I shall be using that one!!

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