Think I have made a big mistake

[fatbutnot4eva]

I must appologise before I start to anyone about to have a band.
I think I have made a mistake, I just cant do it, I am hungry all the time so I eat. I am 2 weeks post op and am doing crap, No weight loss since last week, I have also had some food other than liquid so I have already failed !
Hubby is moaning at me and cant understand why I have put myself through it only to cheat less than 2 weeks after.
I dont know why it must be in my head but i am eating more now than i did months ago. I wakr up thinking what to eat, I just thought by magic i was going to have it and that was the end.
I was told te bypass was a dead cert and there was no cheating or failing but i said "oh i wont cheat I dont eat crap, I know a band will work" but now I am proving myself wrong.
I just dont know what to do, I am just eating for eating sake, I dont want to fail but its like part of me is just doing what it wants.
I have my first fill 2 weeks tomorrow and have all my hopes that it will make a difference but what if it doesnt ? I thought that I would be unable to over eat but i get a slight pain in my chest and just ignor it i thought that it woudl be so much easier than this. I just cant see me being able to do it and I am so annoyed with myself.
like i said at the start i am really sorry for moaning I started off with such high hopes and now I am just thinking what a fool i am.
x

 

[Big an Bouncy]

Your not a fool and its early days yet!You have eaten the same way for years and cant expect a drastic HEAD change over night.Calm down and think about going to slimming world or weight watchers to get your head into the zone.I am sure the band will kick in soon.This is why I am glad my consultant advised me to have the bypass,I would probably feel the same.Best of luck you have waited too long to let your head ruin this for you.Maz x

 

[Silversurfer]

Hi FB4E

I cant really comment as i had a bypass rather than a band, but wanted to say thatnk you for being honest about the way you feel now, i know and had read your thoughts about either op pre your op with interest.

I'm sure some of the more experienced banders will be along and be able to give you the advice and support to get you through this stage and i'm sure once you have a measure of restriction in your band you wont be able to free eat any more and thus not feel the hunger you are now.

Stay with it all and give it a chance !

 

[archiesmum]

Hi FBN4E. I'm sorry that you feel you are failing (you're not) but having a band is not an easy option. I'm sure that you would have read a lot of posts on here before making your decision and realised that. Having a gastric bypass is not an easy option either - both operations have their advantages/disadvantages. I have a band and am a slow loser but I do eat out quite a lot and I cannot tell a lie more than a couple of G&T's have found their way into my hands. There have been times when I have questioned whether or not having a band was the right option but I couldn't afford to have the bypass anyway so I have to make the band work for me. I think that in the first few months after having any wls its fairly normal to question your decision - it's a huge learning curve. Eating slowly, not eating and drinking at the same time, chewing - and so the list grows. However it is worth it.

Ok. Make yourself a cup of tea/coffee - take a deep breath - and tell yourself that you can do this. Read your pre op notes and/or posts on here about post op problems. There are loads. Yes you will feel hungry but if (when you are at that stage) you eat food that is more dense and not sloppy you will start to feel fuller for longer. I know that this seems to be miles away but it will happen. Having fills (I didn't have any fill until week 6) is not always the answer - you have to get use to how you feel when you eat. I'm sorry that this is not a more comforting answer and it is only how I have felt. There are people on here with much more experience than me who will, I'm sure, be able to help you. YOU CAN DO THIS. Good Luck.

 

[Cuppacocoa]

I too had the bypass so am not as clued up about a band but I'm sure it must be normal to still be feeling hungry until your band has had a fill, at the mo there is no restriction and thus nothing to stop you eating whatever you like. Try not to worry too much and don't feel you have failed hun, you have to give the fill(s) a chance to do their stuff and yourself time to get used to your band.

Chin up,
Cuppa xx

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

I must appologise before I start to anyone about to have a band.
I think I have made a mistake, I just cant do it, I am hungry all the time so I eat. I am 2 weeks post op and am doing crap, No weight loss since last week, I have also had some food other than liquid so I have already failed !

Helen you havent failed sweetheart most of us banders go through this at your stage the 4-6 weeks between being bande and getting that 1st fill is hell. you have obviously healed quickly and the swelling has gone & your band will be empty and no bander can learn to use a band correctly or work with it properly untill the fill process starts. The 1st few weeks is healing only the hard work starts after the fills begin and learning to listen to your body and respect what its feeling restriction wise, the band isnt a magic cure but only a tool we have to work with, your band is a opertunity to change your ways if you want it enough.
Hubby is moaning at me and cant understand why I have put myself through it only to cheat less than 2 weeks after.

We do these things as we are simply "food addicts" at the end of the day, wls is a major life style change and it does take a little getting used to especially head hunger ect.
I dont know why it must be in my head but i am eating more now than i did months ago. I wakr up thinking what to eat, I just thought by magic i was going to have it and that was the end.
I was told te bypass was a dead cert and there was no cheating or failing but i said "oh i wont cheat I dont eat crap, I know a band will work" but now I am proving myself wrong.

you can work with this once you have a fil you should start to feel different ok x
I just dont know what to do, I am just eating for eating sake, I dont want to fail but its like part of me is just doing what it wants.
I have my first fill 2 weeks tomorrow and have all my hopes that it will make a difference but what if it doesnt ? I thought that I would be unable to over eat but i get a slight pain in my chest and just ignor it i thought that it woudl be so much easier than this.
the pain in the chest is the 1st signs of restriction you must start learning to listen to this as its very important once you have been filled.
I just cant see me being able to do it and I am so annoyed with myself.
like i said at the start i am really sorry for moaning I started off with such high hopes and now I am just thinking what a fool i am.
x

your not a fool at all if that was the case then i would be a fool too it takes time to get proper restriction and banding and weight loss is similar but very different to bypass, im always here for you if you need me and if i can help or advise you then im happy to do so.

chin up things will improve !!

Liz xxx

 

[Mazza]

Hi Helen

Your haven't failed hun, you just have no restriction. Please try and listen to that tight feeling, that is your signal to stop eating! At the moment you are not getting any effects from eating past this but once restriction kicks in it wont be a nice experience.

Its only 2 weeks until your fill, try, try , try to stick to smaller portions and make healthy choices in the meantime.

After your fill you will probably have to return to liquids then sloppies before you can really test your restriction.

Everyone is different, your swelling has obviously gone and your hunger is back! I was luck and didnt even a have a fill for a number of months - my band restricted me on its own.

Good luck x

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

Thanks you lot, am sat here in tears for being soso stupid ! I pu myself through hell for this op and I need to get my head into gear (and my arse) the nurse just called me to see how i was doing and she reiterated in no uncertain terms i shoudl still be on pureed food for 2 more weeks till my fill. she said it will be hard but to eat smaller portions more ofter (i am only having 2 meals a day so they are big ones - I know thats wrong but thats all i am having time for - i need to make time)
right head sorted get this done xx
thanks again.
You must think I am an idiot I am sorry. x

 

[phatgirl]

I know, I know yet another bypasser with comments but I just wanted to say give yourself a break. The band being fitted is only the begining of your journey so don't get down on yourself, you have no restriction right now so you will have a struggle to avoid your old eating ways. It is normal, most banders experience exactly what you are feeling right now! You have to look at the band as a multi-level project, you laid the foundation with the band being fitted, next level is adding the fill, then you will be able to modify your eating habits to work with the band, next you will add additional fills (this could be several until you hit your 'sweet' spot), and then once you have maintained restriction to the proper degree you have a fully functioning weight loss tool and the weight will drop. The process will be gradual but as long as you keep yourself motivated and work really hard to learn new, healthy lifestyle habits which includes eating well and exercising you will be on your way to that fit person you want to be.

Take the advice of those sage banders who have already posted, they know how it is done! You can do it, you just need to be kind to yourself and be patient and most of all remain commited to your band as it can be your new best friend!

Nic

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

I think it is more the fact that I have been told 2 weeks liquid 2 pureed and I have already cheated by eating. Hoping that I have not caused myself any harm or problems.
I just think omg if I cant even avoid a spoonful of my kids tea or a sneaky crisp after 2 weeks when it is most important to get the band healed and ready. what the hell am i going to be like.
well thats it back on that straight and narrow. Thank you I just had a blip back on track thank you for reading and your fabulous replies you are TOP x

 

[archiesmum]

Blips happen. You're not stupid - just going thru' post band jitters. You will be okay. Try to have 4 or small 5 meals (check with your team first) a day until you get to the point where you are on solids then reduce to 3. Feel free to pm me anytime - having said that I will be away for a couple of weeks now - off to Thailand. Wishing you all the best. Sue x

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

Thailand, I could come with you ???? lol

 

[archiesmum]

Of course. Being very spoilt - we are staying at a hotel near Phuket and we will have our own private pool........OOOerrr. The complex has 3 infinity pools too. It's a treat for oh and I as we celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary whilst there. Fingers crossed for good weather - I think its about 85 - 90deg at the moment. I'm off to pack case as flight is at 21.30 from Heathrow. Have a good couple of weeks. Take care.

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

have a fantastic time x

 

[iheartny]

How refreshing for someone to tell the truth.... It's so easy (as a pre-op bander) to only read the threads that I want to read.... you know the success stories etc.
I had made a pact with myself to completely research my options and look at the pro's and con's of the op and I'm glad that I read this thread and realised that a band isn't a miracle worker.
I know I'll need to completely retune my head and I know that like FBN4E I'll probably struggle, but to know that someone else has gone through this is a comfort.
Stick with it FBN4E, just because you now have a band round your stomach, it isn't a solution for what is essentialy an addiction - especially with the compulsive behaviour that you describe.
Thanks for your honest words
xxxxx

 

[samsmum]

It takes a while for most to start loosing with the band as there is no restriction until you get your fills. Once you have some restriction you will be fine.

Good luck

 

[thinkbethin]

Helen each team give different advice on when to start trying the next stage in foods. As you have no restriction at the moment you feel just as you did pre op (hungry). I was on solids by day 7 and must say I could'nt have coped much longer on pureed stuff. Once you have your 1st fill you will feel different sweetheart. Even the smallest of fills will make a difference. Listen to your body and when you feel that "tightness" stop eating. This is the "alarm" telling you your pouch has taken enough. Believe you me I can totally understand where you're coming from. You are not failing at this. You are learning how to react to the different feelings of how your body is going to work with the "new tool" you have. Hang on in there and you will get through this. Big hugs to you and please feel free to pm me anytimexxx

 

[Bullyfun]

morning hun
its not a failure its just early days, i'm glad your blip is over and get your arse in gear and work with it, two more days and i'll be sat next to you.... I read your posts with interest as i'm using you as a benchmark so i know what to expect, as has been said before it's nice someone actually puts the bad effects as well as personal thoughts (thrown away hot chocolate already lol ) it's a really really good thing for us pre opper's to see both side's, I have in the past couple of month's had moments of "sod it all" and have used this site heavily to gain inspiration and support from many including your good self.
As you are well aware the band is a tool not a magic wand we have to learn to use it, our head is a demon who wants the old "fat us" to come back and get back into our old comfortable rut.......
Band rules old us and head demons can sod off......
if your needing a chat message me and we can hook up on chat sometime.
right lecture over I guess I had better go get a shower and goto work.

Have a great day matey we are all here for you xxx

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

Thanks again you lot you really are a godsend when i am ready to give up (well i am to olate to give up as i dont think Mr Ammori would just slip this band out) anyway yesterday I did my pureed food all day, water, tea etc etc no crap no solids no stupids. today had weetabix made really milky then for dinner pureed hotpot leftovers from last nights tea, not sure for tea possibly soup or mmm more hotpot !!!. I am full and happy and teh swelling seems to be less today as my jeans fasten and i can bend down in them without stopping breathing.
Thanks for all your words of support
Bully cant believe how quick your op has come around bet your excited arnt you, dont let anything I write put you off I would still do it again in a heartbeat, will you ever drink a glass of milk again I wonder.
Oh I have been weeing for britain all night and day so think that might a sign the swelling is going (think from memory a midwife once told me to get rid of swelling you need to wee loads)
anyway feeling much better today much more in the zone haha and its all down to you guys so cheers me dears it means the world xxx

Have a fab day my friends x

 

[Bullyfun]

Glad your feeling back on track and a little better.
You've not put me off lol and I shall expect you to be first in line with advice when I need it (and the odd kick up the rear too no doubt)
xxx