This is a terrible thing to say, but ...

[slimmerkay]

I think my mum is jealous that I'm getting my op.

She has tried to talk me out of it and has brought up all the cons and the possible drawbacks or complications, but I get the distinct feeling it is out of jealousy and not concern. Hubby agrees too.

She hasn't been nasty or anything and has offered to help with the kids whilst I'm recovering but I can't shake this feeling.

Anyone else get this reaction from loved ones?

 

[BlueDiamond]

I think my mum is jealous that I'm getting my op.

She has tried to talk me out of it and has brought up all the cons and the possible drawbacks or complications, but I get the distinct feeling it is out of jealousy and not concern. Hubby agrees too.

Hello there

Could it be that she is just worried about you and the procedure your about to undertake?? Some times peoples worries come out in the most peculiar way and this is how it is coming across from mum. HTH

All the best - MeJulie x x

 

[marky v]

i didn't get that impression from my other half, she still sees my option as somewhat of an "easy way out", but on the back of me losing my weight, she has lost nearly 11 stone on her own, just with diet and exercise, maybe your mum see you gaining control of your addiction, and to a certain extent it's not down to her, it's YOU!! and you alone

 

[yorkshirelass74]

Hi Karen
my mum was exactly the same was horrible about it, and saying how much will power she has and i should try the same. That said, she is one of those people who never have a good word to say about anyone. She rings me to ask how much weight i have lost, and one week she had lost more than me and she loved that!
I have a pint of milk everyday as i am struggling to eat at the moment, and she said, if you want to lose weight milk is the last thing you should be having!
Everyone else has seemed very positive, hopefully she will come round, if she doesnt its her loss and my new life!!!!!
Chin up girl!!

 

[marky v]

Hi Karen
my mum was exactly the same was horrible about it, and saying how much will power she has and i should try the same. That said, she is one of those people who never have a good word to say about anyone. She rings me to ask how much weight i have lost, and one week she had lost more than me and she loved that!
I have a pint of milk everyday as i am struggling to eat at the moment, and she said, if you want to lose weight milk is the last thing you should be having!
Everyone else has seemed very positive, hopefully she will come round, if she doesnt its her loss and my new life!!!!!
Chin up girl!!

to the bit it red....milk is one of the best foods you can have, if you have at least semi skimmed, it's full of protein (makes you feel full), low in carbs (natural sugars..lactose) low in fat, and just about 300 calories in a pint, forget the calories bit, but the rest makes this an ideal protein drink for post oppers!!

 

[yorkshirelass74]

yes mark, but try telling someone who is an expert on absolutely everything that!!

 

[yorkshirelass74]

wow o wow mark, just looked at your ticker (but not in a rude way!) well done on your weight loss! you must be delighted!

 

[ladylite]

I feel that I had trouble with my daughter. She has never been that interested in what I was having done, and let me down big time when I came out of hospital and needed help with the horses.

We have now fallen out big time, over the horses, I think she couldnt handle my weight loss. I have always been the biggest and now I a lot smaller than her. She is the eldest and the largest and my other three girls have loved the change in me.

I am letting her simmer for a while as I feel she really needs to get used the idea of having a slim mum.

i still love her but unfortunately, as we all know, this isnt an easy ride, I dont need all the stress at the mo.

 

[slimmerkay]

Between me, mum and my sister I have always been the heaviest - sometimes by a long way. Mum is now the same size as me and sis isn't far behind. But my sister was really happy for me getting my op.

I'm one of those people that has a wardrobe clear out very often and most of my clothes go to mum -she did say "Oh I wont get hand-me-downs anymore!" Maybe that is it. I know she is concerned about the surgery risks too.

 

[marky v]

wow o wow mark, just looked at your ticker (but not in a rude way!) well done on your weight loss! You must be delighted!

thank you very much!!
(in my best elvis voice!!)

and over the moon, never in my wildest dreams did i ever think i'd be back here at this weight again, altho the press make us out to be the scourge of the earth, 99% of us are complete success stories, and that in my opinion makes funding for nhs weightloss a necessity, BUT people need to realise that it's no quick fix, easy way out etc

 

[Emma Louise]

I know exactly how you feel.
I am one of four siblings, all of us are big but i am currently the biggest by far and the youngest . The only sibling that knows is the second youngest (1 year older than me!) and he is totally jealous. Ever since i told him my date he's been trying to talk me out of it. I just rise above it, because deep down i know that he would rather be celebrating my 60th birthday with me in 40 years time than mourning my grave. xxxxx

 

[bobo]

My mum had a similar reaction but i do honestly feel its because she is scared for me , I just think friends and family can be so worried about you that they try and scare you away from it , My friend came for a drink last night who i havnt seen for months and she just kept saying "have you thought of this have you thought of that " in the end she gave up and said she was pleased for me if thats what i really wanted , but she has made me think AGAIN if its the right decision xxx

 

[slimmerkay]

Sweetie we all know conventional dieting doesn't work for us or we wouldn't have gotten this far. If you'll be truly happy to keep yo-yoing or stay the same as you are now then yes, you should reconsider.

For me this is my only option to get to a healthy weight and no one is changing my mind

 

[Craftslinda]

Am expecting the same from both my sisters once I get my opp and it starts coming off

 

[Grace]

I didn't have any jealousy but I did have a few 'are you sures?' , 'that's very drastics!', and 'can't you do it any other ways?'

It's very frustrating when we know how long and hard we've had to think this through and all the hoops we've had to jump through!
The closest I got to jealousy was from my sister (who's always been big too), who was very dubious and at Slimming World (again) and hating it (again) but she's so wealthy she could pay for surgery at the drop of a hat if that was what she chose to do. I think if there was any envy, it was more about my determination to go ahead and that I was brave enough to go through with it.

 

[yorkiegal]

I wonder if your mum feels guilty about your weight, or is scared that people will point the finger at her and blame her for having a daughter with an eating problem? So every time you mention the op she is reminded of her perceived failings as a mum.

 

[Chuffy_29]

I suspect it's mainly concern, but it's coming across the wrong way. My mum is a bit the same about things....i am not telling her about surgery till i am decided and doind it..even then if i didn't need her to help with the kids i wouldn't tell her. In the long run you'll be healthier and that can't be a bad thing.

 

[seawaves]

My dad is the same i know its worry with him, i wouldn't mind but he was the one that once said & i quote "if i see you in the street i will cross the road as your a disgrace" so i can't do right for doing wrong! I think my mum is worried about our saturday lunchtime get together to moan about my dad!!

 

[J-Mo]

Em, what a horrible & vile thing to say to your child. My mother was equally as nasty to me & now as a mam of two son's, I can't understand how any parent can say such things to their child.

I am a big believer in the saying "you reap what you sow"!! Sorry if what I've said upsets you cos that's not my intention.

 

[phatmomma]

I think we've all got friends/relatives who think we are being drastic taking the wls option! However, it is for 99% of us the only option left, we've done the diets and the pills that make you poop yourself and are still fat!

If you've got this far don't let anyone change your mind with 'what ifs'.... Personally there is no way my kids are watching my enormous coffin being carried down the aisle at the local crem without me trying this one last thing.

If your mom really is jealous then i feel very sorry for her, however, i also think that she has concerns. It's only natural when your children are faced with major surgery! Heck, i worried when my kids went to school for the first day so to watch one undertake major surgery whilst not in the best physical state must be awful......

Give her the benefit of the doubt and see what she's like when you've dropped a noticeable bit of weight. That will be when you'll know for sure, i'm positive xxx