Totally lost my way!

[slimbydecember]

Hi Everyone

I was banded in February 2011 and since I was banded i've lost about 4 stone.

I've had two fills one in May 2011 and one in July 2011 and then for some reason in December, I think stress, my band tightened and I couldn't get nothing down so had the fill from July defilled. I think I only have about 3mls in a 10ml band.

I haven't lost any weight since having my defil even though I am sick daily, I also haven't gained. I am not sick because my band is too tight I am sick because I do not stick to the rules and still try to eat foods I can't or eat big mouthfuls (I need to correct my thinking but don't know how to break habits of a lifetime!)

I think I have a real physiclogical problem with food and obsessing about eating. Sometimes I will eat something knowing it will just come back up or I eat foods that I know I will find easy to get down like mashed potatoes, soup, chocolate or salad.

When I try to eat something with substance I can normally eat a few mouthfuls and then it start to get stuck. What I don't know is if this is because over a year and a half on I should ONLY be able to eat a few mouthfuls, I assumed I should be eating smaller portions but more than a few mouthfuls? How to I make my brain and eyes satisfied with a few mouthfuls??

I've had no help or guidance from the hospital who put my band in so I don't know what's normal with eating with the band? I've e-mailed the dietician a few times but she's never got back to my or rang me back when i've left messages for her. I can only go on what my brain tells me and it tells me it wants more than what I can phsically eat.

I know some of you will read this post and tell me I know the rules and should follow them, that's easy to say but put into practise I just feel like its a battle everyday with my brain and my stomach! I get really upset at having to leave food or not being able to have the food I want. Sometimes i'll sit and eat my tea for over an hour just to eat more, I need to find the strength to stop eating!

Can anyone recommend any good books about how to get into control of food or what life or diets meant to be like with a band?

I'll give you an example of my food diary from the last couple of days that I record using my fitness pal:

Wedneday:
B: Muller corner yoghurt
L: Ham and egg salad (1 egg, 2 slices of ham, lettuce, beetroot, light mayo)
D: Ham, egg and chips (ate one mouthful of ham, no egg and 3 chips)
S: 2 Jaffa cake bars, 2 jumbo rice cakes and grapes
Drinks: 3 cups of coffee with SS milk and sweetener and orange squash.

Thursday
B: Muller corner yoghurt
L: Ham and egg salad (1 egg, 2 slices of ham, lettuce, beetroot, light mayo)
D: Chicken fajita and small baked potato with cheese and salad cream (Ate half of it and bought it back up) too big mouthfuls I think.
S: 2 Jaffa cake bars, 2 custard creams, 1 philadelphia snack pack, mint icecream.

Am I supposed to be eating mouthfuls the size of my thumb? because it's hardly worth putting a lettuce leaf in my mouth and chewing it?

Maybe the band isn't for me and i'd be better off without it?

If anyone wants to have a go at my about this thread then that's fine. It can't be more than I beat myself up every day about the way I am with food.

I'm hoping someone would have felt the same at some point and will be able to give me some tips to get in control.

Some advice about the mouthful sizes I should be eating and how much food I should be realistically expecting to eat with a meal would be handy?

 

[emmten]

I'm pre op, so can't say what you should and shouldn't eat. I notice you had NHS funding so wonder if it would be worth going back to your GP. Perhaps he could refer you back to a weight management team, rather than surgical team, given lack of dietician support. If your set up is like here in Glasgow, they have specialist dieticians and psychologists that could help you.

 

[rickysmrs]

Aww hun sounds like your going through a real turmoil can your GP not refer you to a diff dietian?? and maybe some councilling? I know in the past my local GP had a dietian attached to the practise so maybe worth a try. Hope you get sorted out soon xx

 

[slimbydecember]

I could ask my doctor but I do wonder if they'll ask me to see my bariatric team. Maybe I'll try the dietician at the hospital once more?

 

[rickysmrs]

You can only try hun, why not try both then at least if the hosp dont get back your GP should be able to sort something out either way xx

 

[top_kat]

Im sorry to hear that you're battling, I think the docs etc may well be a place to start, if you need that support or if not, maybe getting in touch with a different provider who do post op support even if done for another provider. yes you have to pay for it, but maybe worth it.

With regards to the food ~ I have specific guidelines as to what I should or shouldn't be eating on normal food (Im just hitting that point today 4 weeks post op)

Im at work at the moment so don't have the book they gave me to hand, but when I am at home I will share with you what it says in relation to eating.

They do say that meals should be 3-6 tablespoons, that if a band is fitted correctly, and the stomach is then the size of a golfball that it should be filled with approx 4 spoons. You should take tiny mouthfuls, and use a timer for eating slowly and breaking habits and they suggest, chewing for 20 seconds and then swallowing and then waiting for 30 seconds before the next mouthful.

Also, they suggest focussing on protein first, followed by vegetables after and carbohydrates last, so that the main meal will consist of the protein first, which aids weight loss.

Also, looking at your food diary there are things which are considerably high within their fat /kcal content. Muller lights would be better than the corners and they only have 90kcal for the big tub, check out melba toasts (you can get "light versions" and for 6 of those they only contain 76 cals approximately but you could have them with a low fat version of soft cheese such as quark, and have these instead of the philadelphia things because its lower in cals too.

My provider also has an online forum and from reading peoples experiences some people find eating fruit and veg with skin can cause issues with the band (ie jacket potatoes are a no no) but it could be worth building up the protein and then using vegetables before hitting the potatoes.

The one thing that I like about from my provider is that they are quite specific on the things I should be eating moving forward and what I should be aiming to have in one day. While they say things like chocolate and ice cream can still be had, they should be had at the end of a meal so that one piece of chocolate will then give you the taste that you need but because you're full you don't need the whole bar. And to avoid things such as ice cream because it flows down through the band. It maybe that there are alternatives to what you're eating now in terms of them being lower in fat etc which will still aid the weight loss while you're sorting your band out. Ie the melba toasts, ditching the jaffa cake bars and maybe if you want sweeter things like this try the weight watchers range of cakes and things too, some of them have half the fat and calories that things like the jaffa cake bars have. Making some of these changes may help you also.

Also other things that they have told me to do,

~ not drink with meals or for half an hour afterwards.

~ Eat until you no longer feel hungry . . .not until you feel full and to practice with this, by using the timing settings they give us, it means that a meal of the size we should be having would take about 20 mins to eat, but this also gives the brain the time to receive the signals from the stomach that its full

~ stick to the amounts of the 4-6 tablespoons and if you can't eat it neither force it down or leave it to pick at, throw it away and eat later.

~ They also suggest eating things "drier" not with gravy etc as it keeps you feeling fuller for longer.

~ using protein shakes for breakfast instead of having a meal at that time

I know things such as cereals, special K, low sugar muesli should only be about 3 tablespoons, which doesn't sound much, but it should fill you if the band is in place and maybe a fill would help you

When I get home, I will post up the listing of what I can have in terms of portion sizes and what they suggest in terms of having in a day. I have battled with eating all of my life. My weight has always been an issue, and I am finding that at the moment in my mind my biggest struggle is feeling guilty when I've spent over £7k on my band surgery to actually eat food. So I hear you!

If you'd like to chat or anything at all, please always feel free to PM me

Kat x

 

[top_kat]

Apologies for the long post . . .another one on its way . . .Here are some of the other things that they suggest which may help

~ Make small changes
~ Set yourself small achievable goals.
~ Pick one or two changes that you want to work on.
~ Start slowly, and don't try to change your eating habits or lifestyle changes all at once.

~ Eat a variety of foods
This will help you get all the nutrients you need.
Eat foods from each of the following groups: grains, vegetables, fruits, milk, meat and other proteins, including beans.
~ Moderation means that no foods should be off limits, but be aware of how often you eat and the amount it totals to.
~ You should be looking to dramatically reduce the intake of calorific foods and those that are high in fat, salt and sugar.
~ You should be choosing Low energy density foods, those that are low in calories yet nutritious.
~ Keep a Food and Activity Diary
~ Try keeping a note also of foods textures, portion sizes and food groups.

Food timing

Use your food timer

The 30 second timer should be used as follows.
1) First take a morsel of food
(“morsel” – i.e. piece of food the size of a 50p)
2) Chew carefully for 15-20 seconds
3) Swallow
4) Wait 30 seconds (turn the timer over)
5) Take the next morsel
6) Chew etc

~ Remember – eat SLOWLY!
~ Follow the guidelines and use the band-timer to slow down your eating.
~ If you have not finished your meal after 20 minutes, get up and leave the table.
~ Don’t linger over the plate and make sure you throw any remaining food away.

Portion Control
~ You should now be eating from a small plate, preferably a 7 inch side plate and also using a small knife and fork.
~ Your plate should contain mainly low fat protein foods and fruit and vegetables.
~ A portion size is about the size of your palm.
~ Take small bites of food only, use your timer and chew your food well, waiting between mouthfuls.
eating your meal should take no longer than 20 minutes, by following the rules above you should be managing x20 small mouthfuls of food only. It is approximately one mouthful of food every minute. This means, be sure to make the 20 mouthfuls of food nutritious and filling enough to keep you going until your next meal.
~ Don’t forget…..You may still be able to eat more food from your plate after the 20 minutes, but ~ DON’T be tempted to continue eating.
~ If you learn to push the food away or pack it away until another meal time (you will get used to serving yourself the right portion eventually) you will find that you are no longer hungry.
~ Only eat until you are no longer hungry, NOT until you are full. There is a difference and it is getting used to listening to your body again and resisting the temptation to finish absolutely everything on the plate.

Practice Environmental Control

~ You are what you eat!!! It will be too much temptation if you keep your usual treats in the house. Learn to think healthy when you do your food shopping, sit and make a list before you head to the shops and don’t stray from this healthier food list.
~ Be Physically Active

Hopefully some of this may be of help too

 

[Nickynoodles]

Hi Slimbydecember


I am sorry to hear you are having problems ..
If you are having eating issues perhaps seeing an eating disorder counsellor or having CBT sessions
privately would help. I have been having counselling for over a year privately and for me it costs around £30 a session of which i have 2 a month now. For me i have found it very useful and i will continue to have it as i am work in progress.

Take care

Nicky xx

 

[slimbydecember]

I think setting a goal of changing two habits at a time is good. I need to decide what these will be.

I eat the Muller corner yoghurt as I thought I was supposed to be eating normally and I'm not allowed to think of any food as a good or bad food? I thought it had a sensible amount of calories and fat for a normal breakfast... maybe this is where I'm confused.

Also, is it fact that I'm supposed to eat 4 tablespoons of food at each sitting as I believe 1 egg is about the equivalent to about 3 or 4 tablespoons. If so, I'm eating way to much!

Melba toast, or anything that clumps together gets stuck, including crisps too. I get so apprehensive about food getting stuck because if I can't eat my lunch or throw up my lunch at work I'm so hungry by the time I get home and then eat something easy which is normally higher in fat and calories.

Why do I worry about eating so much! I wish I could stop this apprehension that I'm going to starve!

 

[Mazza]

Hi

I'm glad you posted, hopefuly we can between us give you some help xx

You asked about a book, this is supposed to be good:

Weight Loss Surgery For Dummies For Dummies Lifestyles Paperback: Amazon.co.uk: Al Roker, Marina S. Kurian MD, Barbara Thompson, Brian K. Davidson: Books

You also clearly have some issues re food still going on. We have all been there and have all felt the need to try and eat more. The trick is to turn the fact that you cant into a positive. Be glad, serve less and whatever you cant eat within 30 minutes - leave. Grazing or carrying on is an easy habbit to get into.

Cognitive behavioral therapy can have good results with over coming eating issues. There are self help books around but also your GP may be able to help.

Good luck and keep posting xx

 

[top_kat]

I eat the Muller corner yoghurt as I thought I was supposed to be eating normally and I'm not allowed to think of any food as a good or bad food? I thought it had a sensible amount of calories and fat for a normal breakfast... maybe this is where I'm confused.

I don't necessarily think it is so much about thinking that a food is good or bad, but when I spoke to my provider about this they told me that I should still be aiming for low fat, low sugar foods. I have a list which gives me 3-4 protein items a day, 3-4 veg/fruit items per day and then carbs which I think has 1-2 on, (will check when I get home for you) but even with that, it still says I should be aiming for low fat, low cal items.

Also, is it fact that I'm supposed to eat 4 tablespoons of food at each sitting as I believe 1 egg is about the equivalent to about 3 or 4 tablespoons. If so, I'm eating way to much!

this could be why you're being regularly sick? If you're eating too much? I know 4-6 tablespoons doesn't sound much, and I've actually struggled with eating food since I've been on the mushy stage, not physically but actually wanting to eat it. When I spoke to my nurse she said don't worry, if you dont want it, don't eat it as I was concerned I wasn't meeting what they suggested.

It is a battle and an ongoing one, especially if you've had eating "issues" in the past and ongoing. I went through some levels of CBT previously and they didn't help me in any other way than identifying and making me admit what I was doing . . .it for me, didn't change anything.

If you're struggling with foods, are you able to get things like protein shakes down? At that way, you're on the liquids, its not going to block you but you're also getting in the things you need? personally I can't stomach them at all, but I don't tend to eat in the mornings and even less so since I've had my band as even without restriction until my fill next week, I don't feel hungry.

It does hit me at night tho and its hard to break the habits of not picking or grazing, or not dipping into a biscuit or two.

I so hear you.

 

[slimbydecember]

I will have a look at that book and I've also emailed a counsellor about cbt.

I've been wanting weightloss surgery since I first heard about it when I was about 18. I thought it would be the answer to all of my weight issues. I now realise it isn't but it is a amazing tool for someone in the right frame of mind. I hoped having the band and making such a drastic decision would put me there but it hasn't. Nothing's changed apart from the physical amount I can eat and every day since I've been young I've obsessed about food.

I was first put on a diet when I was 7 by the school. They called my Mum in and set out an eating plan for me trying to get me to swap sweets for fruit so I've always grown up obsessing about food!

I think I've got many years of issues to undo!

 

[Mazza]

Bless you, good luck hun xx

 

[flutterby1966]

Slimbydecember, if I were you I would definitely be contacting your GP and bariatric team for starters, as you need their expert guidance. Without going back to basics and actually understanding exactly how much restriction you have it's difficult to say what / how much you should be eating...particularly as all providers give different guidance. I have been told that the amount of food I should be aiming for should be a tea plate rather than a large dinner size plate. I certainly eat more than 3-6 spoonsful however and have lost weight successfully. Likewise, I have not always eaten low fat or low sugar alternatives, because when I have looked at the nutritional values they are not always the most healthy options and often full of additives. I have always focussed on protein first, followed by veggies and then carbs. Chewed lots, eaten more slowly, disposed of anything left after 30mins. Home prepared food, rather than processed foods tend to be more nutritious and can be prepared in bulk and then chilled/frozen in perfect portion sizes to be bulked up with veggies if necessary. Protein shakes can be used as a great alternative if you are worried about eating at work. Likewise I may have the odd shake or healthy snack mid afternoon to keep me going till I can sit down at home and eat a proper healthy meal...otherwise I would rush back home and start grazing on the wrong type of foods. I do agree with you ... I try not to think of food as good or bad ... Just better or worse

Let us know how you get on xxx we are rooting for you

 

[rickysmrs]

Hi Slimbydecember Ive just realised your only down the road from me "Corsham" so if u ever wanna a chat/moan or if I can offer you advise please feel free to add me as a buddy and we can swap details. Good Luck Hun Ann xx

 

[slimbydecember]

Thanks for the advice guys. I will speak to my bariatric team.

I work in Corsham so know the area very well.