totally questioning myself ... please tell me what to do!

[Tonibones10]

This op up untill Feb was my only chance of loosing any weight but in the last 12 weeks I've lost 2 stone 13 lb cos I lost another 8lb this week can't believe it but its making me question the op how ungreatfull am i? This is something I've wanted for years and now its getting close I don't know what to do ... I'm loving losing it on my own but can I carry on or will I mess up again ... I dddooonnnttt know :s xxx

 

[emma-louise]

I'll be honest and say I get mad with myself at times wishing I could have lost the weight on my own and not resort to having a bypass.
But I know id be living a life of constantly loosing weight and gaining weight plus a bit extra.
I didn't want to live kind that,I did lose 6 stone on my own years ago
But put it all back on,so deep down inside I know I made the right descision.
Do you think it's just nerves?

 

[Fuffs]

I lost well before my op because I had the op as an incentive. Without the incentive I would have lost and gained it back. But you may be different chick. So now is soul searching time (((hugs)))

Well done on your amazing weight loss. How did you pull 8lbs out the bag? That's huge!!

 

[Tonibones10]

I don't have the op as an incentive cos I've not been set any kind of Target but I'm totally clueless as to how I'm doing it and the 8lb well goodness knows where that came from lol I did the same 2 weeks ago. I don't know what to do my heads fried :s Xx

 

[Fuffs]

I don't have the op as an incentive cos I've not been set any kind of Target but I'm totally clueless as to how I'm doing it and the 8lb well goodness knows where that came from lol I did the same 2 weeks ago. I don't know what to do my heads fried :s Xx

I meant I knew they would want me to show them I was committed. Until my pre op diet I was never given a target either. Just didn't want them to think I wasn't taking it seriously. And wanted my pct to see I was trying. Plus wanted to be as healthy as I could be on the day of my op

8lbs is stunning in a week! I would have to lose my arm at the moment lol x

 

[Paul-H]

Hi

Putting it as simple as possible, you are loosing weight now because you are subconsciously preparing yourself for life after surgery, I did the same when suddenly for no reason I started leaving food on my plate because I was feeling full and I had never done that before.

If you don't have the surgery there is a very very good chance you will go back to you old ways and put your weight back on.

If I was you I would still go ahead as planed that way you cannot lapse and then end up back at the bottom of your Surgions waiting list and putting even more weight on.

Unless you don't really want the surgery and are just looking for an excuse to back out.

Paul

 

[chrisa]

Well Toni you have come this far like Paul said do you want to go to the back of the wqueue and start all over again when it stops coming off and it all goes back on and more besides like has happened to a lot of us. It is your decision to make and i can tell your agonising over it, i being older than you thought this is my only chance now i have tried so hard on my own, there was always a niggle from the negative but it was right for me, how would you think you would feel 6 months from now if the weight started to go back on, thats what you need to consider, what ever you decide its a brave and personal decision and we are all here for you xx

 

[yviec1972]

What a decision. I say if you have yoyo dieted more than five times before then take it for what.it is. It's giving you the best start in the world to go into surgery. I think we all have lost a decent amount of weight before and it really does give you a buzz but do you really believe deep down this is the time you will lose it and keep it off. If you do then that's great but if you have.any doubts go for the surgery but really only you know yourself what is the best for you. I think after a little soulsearching you will come to the right decision and either way a year from now I will look forward to seeing your skinny photos xx

 

[Tonibones10]

Thank. You all so much I'm not backing out I have worked so so hard to get this. I guess I'm panicking now that I'm totally messing up my stomach weather I need to or not, I dunno I still have a couple of months before it I'm just getting so cross with myself for even thinking of backing out after everything I've been through .... I dunno ... confusing Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Fuffs]

Thank. You all so much I'm not backing out I have worked so so hard to get this. I guess I'm panicking now that I'm totally messing up my stomach weather I need to or not, I dunno I still have a couple of months before it I'm just getting so cross with myself for even thinking of backing out after everything I've been through .... I dunno ... confusing Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I questioned if I could do it myself. And had many people tell me 'you are doing so well. Can't you do it alone?'

Another woman on here decided she could do it alone and turned her op down. Don't know what happened after that. Hope she carried on to lose loads.

You will know nearer to the time if it's nerves, fear or you really feel you can do it without.

But just want you to know its a natural thought process xxx

 

[chrisa]

Thank. You all so much I'm not backing out I have worked so so hard to get this. I guess I'm panicking now that I'm totally messing up my stomach weather I need to or not, I dunno I still have a couple of months before it I'm just getting so cross with myself for even thinking of backing out after everything I've been through .... I dunno ... confusing Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Yeah it is our minds are funny things they challenge us on varying degrees, its the body that is suffering and your health carrying this weight around all the time. You've come this far we have all thought the same but probably not been brave enough to say it out loud or put it down into words as a visual as you have. You have to get in the zone and rid of the negative thoughts so you can move forwards, and have your op to improve your quality of life. xx:553:

 

[Tonibones10]

Thank you both, I'm not saying anything yet I just wanted to see how everyone felt cos I'm not sure what's going on in my head right now lol Xx

 

[Fuffs]

Thank you both, I'm not saying anything yet I just wanted to see how everyone felt cos I'm not sure what's going on in my head right now lol Xx

Understandable. This journey is a head trip x

 

[Yvessa]

My weight started to yoyo again while I was on the refeed diet, which is when I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I needed my bypass. But there is no right answer here, you can only go by what you feel.

 

[Big an Bouncy]

We all have doubts and kick ourselves for not being strong enough to go it alone.
You got to your size because you need the help.Simple.
Relax and get yourself as healthy as poss for surgery.
Eat plenty of protien now as later we cant get it in the same,it repairs the body.Also this is the easy part believe it or not!We have the waiting,doubts,excitement,surgery,more doubts big time post op,recovery,coming to terms with food again,eating like a baby,vomiting stuck food,dumping,throwing out your big clothes,having more energy,smiling more,doing more,going out,enjoying life,sex,no headaches,no rubbed thighs,sore creases,no gastric upsets,health better,no snoring,getting a job,going to the gym,swimming,being broke cos clothes are the new food,thanking the surgeon for giving you a whole new life!
See it for what it is a new birth,it takes time but like having a baby after the nine months and a lovely baby appears the hard work start cos we can get fat again we just have to work with the restriction and malabsorbtion to do the best we can.I wouldnt change a thing.Best of luck and believe in your surgeon,but most of all believe in yourself!Maz x

 

[Bellydancer57]

Agree with previous posts. Only you can work this out for yourself & maybe your doctor.
I was in a similar position but have always ended up putting the wright bak on & then some more. I was terrified of the op & it's consequences & to be honest have had some post-op issues that have been handled vey well by my bariatric team. I love my 'sleeve' & o glad I had it done. Lost 5 1/2 stones so far , still a way to go but very positive for future. My back problem has improved leaps & bounds & my blood pressure is now normal. Good luck with your decision.

 

[Sharonimo]

This op up untill Feb was my only chance of loosing any weight but in the last 12 weeks I've lost 2 stone 13 lb cos I lost another 8lb this week can't believe it but its making me question the op how ungreatfull am i? This is something I've wanted for years and now its getting close I don't know what to do ... I'm loving losing it on my own but can I carry on or will I mess up again ... I dddooonnnttt know :s xxx

Hi Toni,

Totally understand where you are coming from, I went thru the same thoughts prior to my op. I had lost 3 stone in total in the year prior to my op, although the last stone in the last two months before the op.

For me, I kept wanting my weight to be a few Kilos lower on the hospital scales at each next appointment as I knew it would be looked on favourably (altho the hospital never set me any particular weight loss target).

For me it definitely was the incentive of the op that was keeping me on the straight and narrow .... altho on the day before the op I did also start thinking "Why am I having such major surgery? Can't I just stick to the pre-op diet / 4 slimfasts a day for another 10 months ???" **

** But I knew deep down that such ideas would ultimately always be doomed to failure if I returned home with my still large football sized stomach and (normally) very large appetite, and that if I backed out of the operation I would be virtually condemning myself to a continuing life of obesity staying 20 stone (ish) into my 50's and 60's.

However, there were 2 forum members who did cancel their ops (both around December 2011 at tne end of last year) but both of them had lost much more % significant amounts of weight (around 6 stone and 7 stone) and decided to continue with "normal" dieting. I guess having achieved much larger weight losses pre-op they then re-assessed the risk / reward ratio of having surgery.

There is (as always) a small risk of having any surgery, but for most of us (who know deep down we can't do this on our own and we do need a little surgical assistance) the potential massive reward (a lifetime of health) outweighs the risk.

If I had been offered the op in my 20's or 30's I could have enjoyed my youth more, so I would say take the chance while you have been offered it.

 

[yviec1972]

Hi. I have been keeping up to date with your thread and it got me to thinking how did people manage without forums like this. Everyone is just so supportive and what I have noticed is what you are going through is totally normal. Change is hard we automatically try to do what is familiar. When I have too much going on in my mind I revert to the old plus and minus list. I know its cheesy but it really helps me put things into perspective xxx

 

[Raynebubble]

i cant make any decisions for you but i can tell you how i felt... and before the op i was feeing the same. i lost 2 stone on pre-op and i was thinking..why am i going through this... iv just lost 2 stone without any help!! but n reality.. without knowing i was losing the weight to have the op..i wouldnt of lost the weight.
Coming up to the op i went through i think every emotion going.. scared, confused, happy, excited, doubtfull, regretful... you name it i was all over the place..but i can tell you this... i am so happy and glad i had this done.i woudnt change a thing xx good luck lovely xx

 

[TwinkleTwinkle]

Whatever you decide to do, Toni darlin, I wish you all the luck in the world but this may be a situation where age & experience are a benefit. I think all us over 40s will agree that we have been successful numerous times losing good amounts of weight, but we all sabotage ourselves sooner or later & regain the weight + a bit more for good measure :sigh: I now know that I would never have had the success I have had, without the op. The crux of the matter really is not the losing but the maintaining ... could you do that, sweets? Unfortunately, I knew I couldn't xxx