Tricky one, what do I say to step-son

[Mixman]

Now my step-son, 7, has said to his mum, my fiancé, 'Why is Mickie getting so skinny?'

Now he knows I had an operation and takes great pleasure in letting me know I can't share his sweets etc. In a joking way.

But now he's saying that he should stop eating because he might get fat.

Now he isn't what-so-ever. He's active, plays football, is not skinny but then has no fat at all.

How do I go about this? Just a sit down and explanation?

 

[teen]

Thats a hard one Happened when my daughter was 8 She hadnt seen here nan for a while and when she say her her nan said oooo you are filling out nicely OOOOPS wrong thing to say to a 8 year old girl Took me 2 weeks to find out why she wouldnt eat. Im sure you will find the right things to say to him Good luck

 

[Mazza]

Tricky one Mixxy. I had a similar experience to Teen, my ex husband told my daughter (also 7) not to eat too many sweets because she would get fat. She does PE twice a week, swimming once, funky dancing once and belongs to a dance school and does 3 hours ballet, tap and gymnastics a week - phew. Anyway she went through months of saying she was fat and ugly, she hasnt got an ounce of fat on her.

Re the op - I told my daughter straight after that I have had an operation that means I cant eat bread rice and pasta anymore and that I can now only eat around the same as her. She has asked a few questions but generally just accepted it and readily shares her Barbie plate with me. I also openely discuss with her healthy food choices and exercise.

Im sure you will find the right words but it needs doing soon by the sounds of it. Good luck x

 

[galm37]

Kids r great & I find it's always best 2 b honest and put it in terms he'll understand. You could do a bit of a project with him re why you were big in the 1st place, bad food choices & compare that to what you do now.
So at least that way he'll understand the importance of eating correctly when your active like he is.
good luck with it x

 

[dottychic]

I think honesty is the best policy where kids are concerned. They are able to understand much more than we usually give them credit for. Just tailor the words to his age and Im sure you will do a good job. If we were educated more about food and health issues maybe some of us wouldnt be where we are now lol. Good Luck x

 

[gaelic girl]

As someone who works with very complex kids on a daily basis i would agree that honesty is the best policy! I have always worried that my own kids would be heavy and go through what i did ( neither of them are). I was always honest about my op with both my own kids and those i work with, they know i needed the op through my own mismanagement and emotional life long battles with food and if i ever say to any of them to be careful what they eat its because i don't want them to go through the misery i did. They seem very accepting of this and will ask questions if its on their mind. I'm sure you will find the right words Mixie for him to understand what you want to say to him. Kids are great and are more perceptive at that age than we give them credit for at times! I'm sure he will listen and understand your honesty easier than trying to get his wee mind around his own ideas on the subject xx

 

[12dobidog]

Tell him the truth and involve him in your healthier life style
Good luck

 

[ladylite]

I agree the truth is best.

 

[Glenville]

I agree with all that's been said already. Except, you are not "getting skinny". With all the best will in the world I don't think any of us will ever be described such. You are getting to a healthy weight though and being "skinny" is just as unhealthy as being overweight.

I know it's semantics but it is important for young minds to have the exact truth otherwise who knows what they will make of it.

I'm sure you will be able to put his mind at rest.

 

[Mixman]

He knows I've had the operation and what it was for. I've told him now that the only reason I can't have chocolate and sweets etc is that it might make me poorly rather than put weight on.

He seems to understand this and asked for a biscuit, so I guess he's not wanting to give them up just yet!

 

[gaelic girl]

Aw bless him typical child or what hee hee x

 

[phatmomma]

Such a tricky one to deal with Mickie and it sounds like you've handled it well.

My mom regularly says to one child of mine that she looks like she's put weight on and then the other one that she looks like she's lost some weight.... It drives me nuts, but she's 76 and i'm not gonna make a scene at her age. I just tell them both that it's the inside that matters, but also that we need to make wiser choices....

It's not easy for kids! People throw food at them to appease and please them, we give mixed messages....