Well I said I would always be honest.

[ladylite]

Well today I feel really depressed and it has shocked me. I have been so happy and upbeat, but today I feel a bit like what is the point.

The OH is getting on my nerves totally, he is the biggest boring old fart I have ever met. I am feeling that life is going to be boring with him.

Usually I love him so much for being a stable and reliable person, but he is boring me at the mo.

I hope this is just a passing phase, but I wouldnt be honest if I didnt tell as up until now everthing has been a walk in the park.

I did stop taking my anti depression tablets but dont really want to start them again, so I will give it a few days and see how i feel.

Sorry for the moan and I feel so ungrateful and I have a lovely husband really but today, every single fault he has has grated on me and to be honest we do seem to be rowing a lot.:cry::cry:

 

[cherry]

im sending massive hugs, im sure this is juat a passing phrase sweetpea, we all row hope your feeling better soon sweetpea xxxx

 

[gaelic girl]

Aw Mary so sorry to hear you are having a difficult time. I have to say i understand what you are saying. I'm going to send you a pm but in the meantime hun you have to do whats right for you and if you can and want to, talk to hubby and see what that brings but meantime big big hugs to you x

 

[yorkiegal]

sorry to hear you're feeling blue. did you just stop taking your antidepressants suddenly or did you taper them down? Sometimes it's best to do it very gradually. But hopefully this is just an off day and you will pick up soon.

Was your husband a boring old fart prior to your surgery or could it be that you both were, and now that you're lighter you're starting to embrace new things again? Losing weight can often be quite difficult for relationships as one person changes and the other struggles to deal with it.
But if hubby is determined to be boring maybe you can go do some things on your own or with friends? My stepmum often complains that my dad is happy just to sit and do nothing and I know it infuriates her and then they row because he perceives her to be nagging. But she gets time away from him with her various hobbies and that way they don't end up murdering each other.

 

[PoppyCorn]

Why have you stopped your medication?

If it's without your Dr's help then that could be where all this negativity is coming from - anti-depressants alter your brain chemistry so stopping them suddenly and without observation may make you feel worse than before you started taking them in the first place.

Sending you hugs and I hope these feelings pass quickly.

 

[J-Mo]

I'm sorry u feeling so low!! I'm sure its just the massive rush of hormones we have released into our system as we lose weight! I've heard many people talk bout it on here!!

Hope u feeling better soon..............

 

[ladylite]

I think you may of hit the nail on the head ............ he was always a boring old fart, I have never been, but have been lazy mainly because of weight issues.

I do need to sit down and have a chat with him because he is so amenable it just seems at the mo I do a lot of shouting and I need to go about it in a different way.

I do have a very busy life, especially with the horses with my daughter, but she is going on her hols tomorrow and I think that has something to do with it too.

Feel better already, talking about it really helps thanks folks.

 

[Bev]

Hope you are feeling better and keep going... it's a rollercoaster for sure... take good care and hope things get sorted for you xxx

 

[cazbandy]

I think you should be talking to him really...

maybe you should suggest some new things you could do together rather than write him off just yet.

 

[smilergem]

Hiya Mary, I can really empathise with how you feel at the moment. I stopped taking my anti depressants after the op as the liquid one was so vile, and the capsule when broken apart, the powder was even worse.
Things seem to be coming to a head for me with my partner too, I realise I don't really like him as a person, as some of his views and ways really make me despise him.
I have only been with him two years, when I first met him he had his own business and was renting a nice house, where I moved in with him for a few months. Then his business went bust and he had to move with me back to my rented house. Ever since then he seems to be controlling me, won't even let me have a new kettle, says the one we have is quite ok (even though it was his and his exe's), or a new bin. Silly things are really getting to me.
Maybe it is all our hormones running riot, I have just started my TOTM too, which doesn't help (especially at 53).
Have other people had these realisations after surgery, that maybe we want something more out of life, or different.
Sorry to hijack your thread, but was a bit wary of starting my own as it would mean facing up to how I have been feeling lately.
Hope things improve for you hun xxxxx

 

[Grace]

Hiya Mary, I can really empathise with how you feel at the moment. I stopped taking my anti depressants after the op as the liquid one was so vile, and the capsule when broken apart, the powder was even worse.
Things seem to be coming to a head for me with my partner too, I realise I don't really like him as a person, as some of his views and ways really make me despise him.
I have only been with him two years, when I first met him he had his own business and was renting a nice house, where I moved in with him for a few months. Then his business went bust and he had to move with me back to my rented house. Ever since then he seems to be controlling me, won't even let me have a new kettle, says the one we have is quite ok (even though it was his and his exe's), or a new bin. Silly things are really getting to me.
Maybe it is all our hormones running riot, I have just started my TOTM too, which doesn't help (especially at 53).
Have other people had these realisations after surgery, that maybe we want something more out of life, or different.
Sorry to hijack your thread, but was a bit wary of starting my own as it would mean facing up to how I have been feeling lately.
Hope things improve for you hun xxxxx

Jan being controlled is never good.
( I was married previously to a very controlling and aggressive/violent man so I know about this on on a personal level. I also used to work with controlling and violent men as a Probation Officer) I'm not suggesting things are like this for you..but I hate to see women being controlled.

Anti-depressants apart, I wonder if as you lose weight and begin to feel more confident you will also want to become more assertive? Maybe that's what's happening now? Feel free to pm me for a chat if you like sweety. Sometimes talking things through helps you to see the wood for the trees.

Charis xxx

Mary, I hope things improve for you. Your OH sounds quite sweet, if a bit unexciting for you at the moment. If he's as sweet as he sounds, maybe he'll be willing to do some more stuff with you if you ask him/talk to him. Maybe he's in a rut too and would like to get out of it but doesn't know how?
I hope it gets sorted out love. I guess we can get stuck in our ways as we get older! But you've had a new lease of life huh?

Charis xxx

 

[dottychic]

I hope you ladies get sorted out, I can see where you are coming from. Ive been with hubby for 22 years and sometimes I wonder what I ever saw in him lol. We are so different, but thats probably what attracted us in the first place. Relationships are so hard, I hope you can find some happiness in yours and me in mine x

 

[Grace]

I hope you ladies get sorted out, I can see where you are coming from. Ive been with hubby for 22 years and sometimes I wonder what I ever saw in him lol. We are so different, but thats probably what attracted us in the first place. Relationships are so hard, I hope you can find some happiness in yours and me in mine x

marriages/partnerships do have to be worked at. It's so easy to get complacent, take each other for granted, coast along. And then when kids come along, their very presence can be so divisive, no matter ho much you both love them.

Now my kids are growing up and we have more time for each other, it's like we have to get to know each other again.
We're trying to have a day just for us once a week...and to date....go for dinner, to the theatre, to the cinema, or just a nice day out together.

Time to talk....and to LISTEN...because he has a perspective too! (even though I may not wish to admit it or hear it, LOL)
we went to Egypt (Red Sea Riviera) JUST the TWO of us...in April. It was like a second honeymoon. We laughed. We held hands. We re-found romance.
I think that may be the secret. we need romance. I'm very blessed, as my hubby is such a romantic But it's about give and take too. he doesn't know it yet, but I'm planning to go to a few football matches with him this year (I hate football) .......because if I want him to take a interest in my stuff, it's only fair I take an interest in his.

Apologies if this sounds 'preachy' or like we've got it all sorted. We haven't. But I just wanted to share some of the stuff which IS working for us.

 

[Linski]

Hello Mary,
Coming off antidepressants will alter the way you think and feel. Please go and talk to your doctor as I think you having recent surgery can make you depressed. Seems the wrong time at the moment to come off them but I am no expert. I am just weaning myself of seroxat after 13 years and the different emotions I feel from hour to hour is proving difficult to cope with.
Big hug Mary
Linski xxxxx

 

[Linski]

marriages/partnerships do have to be worked at. It's so easy to get complacent, take each other for granted, coast along. And then when kids come along, their very presence can be so divisive, no matter ho much you both love them.

Now my kids are growing up and we have more time for each other, it's like we have to get to know each other again.




we're trying to have a day just for us once a week...and to date....go for dinner, to the theatre, to the cinema, or just a nice day out together.

Time to talk....and to LISTEN...because he has a perspective too! (even though I may not wish to admit it or hear it, LOL)
we went to Egypt (Red Sea Riviera) JUST the TWO of us...in April. It was like a second honeymoon. We laughed. We held hands. We re-found romance.
I think that may be the secret. we need romance. I'm very blessed, as my hubby is such a romantic But it's about give and take too. he doesn't know it yet, but I'm planning to go to a few football matches with him this year (I hate football) .......because if I want him to take a interest in my stuff, it's only fair I take an interest in his.

Apologies if this sounds 'preachy' or like we've got it all sorted. We haven't. But I just wanted to share some of the stuff which IS working for us.

Aw how lovely Charis xxx

 

[poo bear]

Hi Mary i am so sorry to hear you are having a difficult time at the moment,sending you a big hug.:hug99:xx

 

[gaelic girl]

Lovely to hear Charis x