What did you tell people

[girly girl]

Ok i was talking with oh last night about what i will tell people eg our neighbours if they ask how i lost so much weight as i have only told close friends and family.
What did you all tell people when they asked .
Thanks
XXXX

 

[Cuppacocoa]

Hi Lisa,

Other than my nearest and dearest and those that have to know I haven't told anyone else about the op. I don't want to say anything for the time being as I worry it may be an added pressure to lose weight faster.

When people do ask in the early days I am hoping I can away with simply saying I'm eating much less and exercising a lot more, which is totally true! I don't have a problem with telling people further down the line but for now I just don't feel the need to go public!
Cuppa xx

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

Ok this is on my mind day and night, only hubby and my mum know oh and you lot.
I am dreading yes dreading etlling "friends" as i know what they will think, I have only known them a few years and they dont really know ME and how being fat affects me.
Neighbours No idea
I am hoping thhat the band works really well for me but not too fast so I can carry on with teh gym and get away will just excercise and diet being the reason - which is half true, but i doubt it will.
I havnt told anyone as I dont want to jinx it and then i look a fool.
I did tell a friend last xmas whilst drunk but i dont think she remembered !!!
I woudl like to be honest and tell everyone the same at the same tme but it is so hard as people are ignorant and see it as an easy option instead of doing the hard work !!
my cousin has just lost 8stone 3 on slimming world so i am sure i will get why dont you lose it like she has !!!
its really hard, i am not ashamed at all just dont want all the questions

 

[Cuppacocoa]

Fatbutnot4eva - totally agree with you that some people will think that we have taken the easy option which is another reason why I don't wish to tell people for now. I can't be bothered try and explain that it is not an easy option at all.

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

its awful isnt it, I started the gym just over a year ago and had lost a total of almost 2 stone (managing to put it slowly back on due to not going kids ill, holidays etc.. not been since july)
people said how well i was looking and nice comments i dont think it crossed anyones mind anything differenct so i am hoping the same wil happe as i will get back to the gym.
i was telling a friend about a lovely finest meal tesco had for £9 wita botttle of wine and i said it was soo filling she said youve not had a band have you dont know if she was half joking or totally innocent.

I dont mind telling everyone afterwards but not before. also i want to make sure i lose weight.
xxx

 

[girly girl]

I no it might sound silly but its my neighbours that worry me most i think its the gossip and looks if they dont aprove
(we live in a small close)
thanks
xxxx

 

[StephieAck]

I havent had my operation yet but it isnt so very far off (talking months now rather than year/s) and I think that once the weight starts piling off, which with a bypass I am hoping it will do, it just wont be possible to say that I am just eating better.
If anyone asks that I havent trusted with the truth then I will wink and say "that is my secret" and if it comes down to a straight forward "did you have an op" question then I will say yes.
I am NOT ashamed that I am going for surgery, I have tried every other means possible to lose the weight and I know that it hasnt worked and the op is my last chance to get a major amount of weight off.
If I encounter negativity about it then the people doleing it out are just people that I dont need in my life and I will not have them in it.
So far my family knows and are MEGA supportive and anyone that cares to read my facebook statuses updating my journey knows and so far I have experienced NO negativity, but I am sure a few stone down the line someone is bound to say I took the easy road, to which they will regret saying that because I will unleash a tirade on them telling them exactly what is involved in it and will shout at them for being narrow minded nitwits.
It is a totally personal decision on who to tell, sat in the waiting room yesterday there were more than a couple of people saying that they have at least one family member or friend that is totally against it, so I am sooo blessed that my lot are backing me (they literally call and text and visit to ask how its going and they get so excited for me) and I know that others arent the same.
I am, in my public life, a very private person and dont plan to go telling people about it but if they ask directly then Ill be honest.
Just remember, it is a very brave decision that you have made and YOU know the whys and hows of it all and it is nothing to do with anyone that you dont choose to share it with.
Wow...I rambled on a bit there didnt I hahaha lol
Take care
Steph xx

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

well said steph x
I am not a confrontational person (at all) and would struggle to back up my reasons and would therefore look the nitwit.
I just hope that when it comes to it I can be cool, calm and colective and say it how it is x

 

[indianlight]

I've got the same problem, I go back to work on thursday and people around me are noticing I've lost weight so work who haven't seen me for 6 weeks will definitely notice. I work in a very gossippy environment and really don't want to have to deal with any comments, and I really don't know how to respond to them.

They know i've had a stomach op, to deal with my reflux and burping problems(this was cos my band wasn't right, but they don't know that). I think i will fob them off with a throwaway comment like ' you would lose weight too if you couldnt eat properly for weeks after an op' and hope that will shut them up...I doubt it will though...xx

 

[PinkyButtonz]

I've been there before when I lost weight with CD. I just told people I had cut right down and left it as that.

I have only told 3 people (very supportive mum, daughter and brother) about my up and coming op. I don't intend to share it with anyone else. I don't want any judgemental people (sadly there are some) watching my every mouthful or monitering my weight loss saying "how much have you lost this week". Its just too much pressure.

I don't see my neighbours that often. When I first moved in I was many many stone lighter. My direct neighbour knows I've been ill and meds that have contributed to my weight gain. I don't think she will ask, but if she did I will just say my meds have been reduced (which is true) contributing to my weight loss.

Pinkyxx

 

[Neen]

I really don't feel obliged to announce it to anyone, I'm not going to go round boasting about magically suddenly being able to shift it all by myself either...hmm if anyone asks I'll probably say depending on how well I know them. I don't see that it's something to confess to, who cares really how? What matters is you're healthier and happier and it certainly is NOT an easy option or a cheats way out. I am doing more conscious control of what I eat and a damn sight more exercise now with my band than I ever ever did without it. In fact I would say the pressures on even harder after surgery because if I don't make this work then I'm screwed royally.
Also it's my body and it's no-one elses flipping business!!!! The people that really matter and needed to know already do anyway!

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

its hard isnt it
I dont work I am a stay at home mum and have three children 7, 5 and almost 2, I walk to school every day with the same women and talk to the same ones in the school yard.
The ones I walk to school with I am quite clse and we do stuff together days out, sometimes cinema or girly night out. I dont always go due to money and they always moan so I do try, they go for meals then drinking sessions etc..
How on earth do I tell them that i have had the band !!!
I would rather it be a secret but shy so I can say I am losing weight just by gym and diet !!! which is sort of true.
I know that one will be jelous as she is also heavy - not as heavy as me - i am the fattest out of us all. which my husband says is why they are my friends (I think this was nasty - but he didnt mean it like it he says)

 

[Bonita]

If anyone asks I tell them the truth. I couldn't care less if they are being judgemental, at the end of the day I know I feel better for it, so if they have a problem with that then it is just that, their problem. I certainly am not going to lie or deflect their questions.

 

[Neen]

fatbutnot4eva
You can still help your friends without fessing up anyway, just make the healthy choices, go for walks do fun stuff together that doesn't include food and alcohol. Depends how much weight they have to lose doesn't it? If you feel you want to tell them then it will definately sort out who your true friends are,they will be the ones that will be encouraging and pleased for you and support you. Anyone who puts a downer on it or makes you feel bad about something that will extend your life and boost your confidence is no-one you want in your life, trust me.
If they are struggling with a lot of weight maybe help them find out about wether surgery would work for them? How to approach the doc etc and point them in the direction of this forum.
You are not responsible for their failure or success at taking care of their bodies and you don't go being influenced by them if they are jealous or resentful. This is for YOU and your loved ones , no-one else.

 

[Caroline101061]

Im not having a go - really Im not but why on earth do you care what people think and what they say - we are doing this for us and noone else to give ourselves a better quality of life. Hang the world is what I say - does it matter how you lose weight as long as you can lose it and keep it off? I would take anyone who told me that the Bypass or a Band was a soft option down in a rugby tackle with a smile on my face. Tell you something else, there are more and more people opting for WLS now than even 3 years ago. Hold your heads up high - you are dealing with your problem your way - the way that works for you - nothing wrong with that.

 

[elffie01]

hiya, I told my mate as she is one of my neighbours, nothing to do with the others as I hardly speak to them. We also live in a small close. If anyone asks, as I know they might, I had my gallbladder out if they mention seeing my family do things and me watching lol. Well its true I have had it out.

Other than that just exercise and eating less which neither are a lie !

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

Thanks sorry to raid your post x its a questions that comes up week in and week out xxx thanks again xxx

 

[Sambucca]

Im not having a go - really Im not but why on earth do you care what people think and what they say - we are doing this for us and noone else to give ourselves a better quality of life. Hang the world is what I say - does it matter how you lose weight as long as you can lose it and keep it off? I would take anyone who told me that the Bypass or a Band was a soft option down in a rugby tackle with a smile on my face. Tell you something else, there are more and more people opting for WLS now than even 3 years ago. Hold your heads up high - you are dealing with your problem your way - the way that works for you - nothing wrong with that.

Totally agree with Carolines post here, although I admit I did spend a lot of time pre-op worrying about what people would think of me.

I have told everyone that is important to me - ie friends and family, and I have told management at work plus a few colleagues that I consider to be friends.

I havent gone out of my way to tell people at work, but if anyone asks, I will tell them. Its my business. No one elses, and if people have negative or judgemental comments to make about me I will ask them to keep their unwanted opinions to themselves.

 

[twinklyhb]

i told everyone b4 my op what i was doing so i took away the need to gossip about me as that would have really p!!!!d me off nobody can say anything now and i have only had positive reactions from people since i hope that helps as i worried about this too but knew i couldn`t cope with the gossipers but if you take control they have nothing to talk about xxxheather

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

i told everyone and there dog, ive had both positive and negitive reactions, the negitive i dont relly give a sh*t as its there ignorance and lack of understanding of wls, i dont care either way what ppl think about me xxx