What shall I do at 65??

[VeronicaT]

I have been reading and re reading this forum, and have now made an appt with doc for next friday to discuss my options for weightloss. Been through the weightwatchers and exercise bit already, so only leaves surgery now. I had more or less decided that a bypass would be more suitable for me ( obviously dep on what doc says), and was going to push for it on Friday.
Now i am getting cold feet. I def need the surgery, as I am more or less housebound now. I am 65 and don't want to spend my life watching TV and being looked after all the time. Trouble is i don't want not to be able to eat either, so its making have second thoughts. Do I need all of this stress and hassle at my time of life?
Oh what to do? I am so scared of the surgery, but on the other hand know that i need it.
Anyone else had it done at my age?

 

[cherry]

oo hun, hmmm you gotta weigh this up! you know you need the surgery and your obviously unhappy how things are at the mo, so i would say yes you go for it, food is what has got us all to this state and for some would kill us if surgery wasnt taken ( this isnt ment to scare), you would still be able to eat but just not in the quantities you would be use to, also whats your fix?.... if its sweet stuff then you prob would struggle as with bypass you would be dumping,and it would make you very ill if you wanted to carry on eating it, but remember this what the dietatician is for and the physcologist to help train you into being able to make the right food choices and to help you train yourself into thinking differently about food, having said that there is only one person who can do this, no matter how much surgery you have or specialists and thats YOU! how much do you want this?...... is it making you desperatly unhappy? i would say yes as you wouldnt have looked into surgery, food is what we've all used as our 'fix' or comfort blanket you now need to focus on the end result to help you through, i am alot younger than you so maybe someone whos on here near your age can help to, to give there perspective, its scary hey choosing the right thing, but i think deep down you know whats best! i wish you luck xx

 

[phatmomma]

Let me tell you what i had for lunch last Friday when i met my son on his birthday

I had steak, salad with a lovely dressing, (i almost had two onion rings but my 1 yr old grandson gave me the eyes so he had them) and i had 1/2 a slice of garlic bread (i had got a whole slice but my 11 yr old stepdaughter gave me the eyes too)... Oooh i also pinched a scampi off my hubby's plate along with the bit of steak i ate...

The week before i went for a carvery and ate gammon, sprouts, carrots, and a bit of a yorkshire pud (yes you guessed it, my own daughter had the rest of the yorkie - but only cos i was full)...

Week before that i had a bit of chicken tikka (dry) and salad from the indian takeaway... Sometimes we stop and have soup for lunch in Sainsburys, pea n mint is delicious

I'm planning on having a bit of sugar free angel delight a bit later...

I think what i'm trying to say to you is this, just because i've had a bypass i still enjoy food! I was really concerned that me not eating would really hinder our enjoyment of food as a family, we like to eat socially. However this hasn't been the case. Okay sometimes (like last Wednesday when visiting Bath) the pub might not have something i really fancy, in which case i go for the jacket/cheese/beans option. But food is still definitely very welcome in our house. My husband is hoping to have a bypass and hopefully apart from portion size and making healthier choices we will still enjoy our food!

You will still eat 'normal' food just in much smaller quantities

I think your age shouldn't come into it, i think you are entitled to be able to live your life to its full capacity and that being stuck in the house is not going to give you that enjoyment!

 

[cherry]

hear hear julie x

 

[Kerry Jo]

great advice ladies xxx

 

[emergingbutterfly]

Ok, put it like this....picture your 70th birthday and imagine life with the surgery and without.

I did a "will I wont 1" scenario before my surgery and wrote down what life would be like on my 40th birthday ( 18 months time) if I had the surgery and vice versa. It was really an eye opener for me.

It is always a difficult decision and it is a good idea to read loads of diaries, stories and threads on here to make up your mind.

Good luck with your decision

 

[VeronicaT]

Thank you all for your advice - I am just feeling panicy at the moment - its such a big decision. I know my doc will try to talk me out of it, and i really want her too cos i am scared BUT I also know i need it, so i am going to have to fight for it.

 

[cherry]

good luck with everything x

 

[phatmomma]

Veronica, make a list of all the reasons you want this surgery for and take it with you!

Actually maybe a list of positives and negatives so you know yourself what you are letting yourself in for....

I know i've been blessed with my wls journey, i'm lucky with my food that i can eat some things that people 8 months out cannot manage. But this isn't a game decider to me, what is is the fact that i feel fantastic. I'm holding my head up higher and there appears to be a spring in my step at times too nowadays xx

 

[dottychic]

Good Luck Veronica, I agree with Julie, your age shouldnt come into it. You deserve to be happy so if I wasd you I would go for it! x

 

[keeley86]

go for it hun! you mite have got another 30 years left of life or more - would you prefer to live it suffering or live it enjoying life like going for long walks and stuff? hope your doctor understands and give in to what you want - xxx

 

[StephieAck]

Veronica, out of interest, you say that you have done the weight watchers and exercise bit, have you tried the slimming pills and potions, VLCD etc?
Steph xx

 

[VeronicaT]

No Stephie - no pills for me - I decided against them for me.

Julie I have been making a list, cos I know I will get upset at the docs - its been preying on my mind for weeks and only just got up the courage to go to docs again.A list will keep me calm.

Keeley You made me smile lol but you are right - my mum was 94 when she died.

 

[StephieAck]

I only ask because for the NHS to fund surgery many doctors like to know that you have exhausted every avenue, your doctor may well put you on Orlistat or something like that before they will refer you for surgery. Some may well send you on just because you ask but a huge amount of doctors will only refer you when you have exhausted EVERY avenue. Obviously if you go private then I suppose you wouldnt have to do any of that but Im pretty sure that your GP wont refer you without trying everything first.
Steph xx

 

[Meggie]

I agree with everyone else......age shouldn't come into it. I guess I'm in a different position and I spent a long time debating it! I will be honest and say that I was convinced the op would kill me. But I'm still here to tell the tale, and happier than I've ever been!! It is a decision that only you can make, and looking at the positives and negatives is definitely a huge thing. I thought I'd miss the food thing but I can generally eat most of the things I enjoyed in the past, but I'm not as obsessed with where my next meal is coming from so actually enjoy food more nowadays (most days anyway!!!).

Good luck with making your decision!! It is the hardest decision you may ever have to make but one that is definitely worth considering!!!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[SOON SLIM SUE]

I'm 55 and i have a friend that was 61 when she had her surgery. age never came into it, we were both treated the same as everyone else.
only regret we have is not doing it sooner.

 

[VeronicaT]

Sue i think I might feel the same once I get up the courage lol - should have done this years ago.

 

[Glenville]

Hi Veronica,
Well done for getting this far, you will get a great deal of support here.
I was 60 when I had my bypass, but think I coped as well as, if not better than some folks much younger. It is not about age, it's more about how prepared you are. The sooner you get yourself in shape physically as well as mentally, the better. However, don't go losing weight and reducing your BMI until you know you have your funding in place. You don't want to jeopardize your chances.

Don't concern yourself about not being able to eat again, Julie has illustrated very well how it is possible to enjoy your food post-op. I would agree with her 100%. I still enjoy nights out, in fact enjoy them more now that the desire for everything on the menu is a thing of the past.

Your whole life will turn around, well mine has and there is no way I would want to go back to the old one.

Good luck with your Dr. appointment and keep us informed of your progress.

 

[phatmomma]

One thing i forgot to mention about food Veronica and i'm sure others will agree....... All of a sudden my food tastes fantastic, my taste buds sometimes feel like their at a party in my mouth... Pre op it got shovelled in, now i savour the flavour of the small meals i eat.... I could easily sit n eat 3 cream cakes without even really being able to say i enjoyed it. Now i will rave about something extra tasty