• Hi, If you cannot get into the site, be sure to Contact Us. Please be advised that the app is no longer in use!

What to tell friends..?

W

wobbles

New Member
Hi Everyone,

I've only told a few people about my impending surgery, as i knew they would be supportive. Not necessarily agree, but supportive.
But i have friends and people i socialise with that i haven't told, and i'm sure that once i start losing a lot of weight, they're going to ask what's going on.
I know there are some who will look down on me, ridicule me, and generally disagree with the whole thing, so i'm wondering what other people did.

Were you always up front, open and honest about how you lost the weight?

Did you have trouble telling certain people the truth?

What sorts of reactions did ou receive from people?

I really don't know what to do. Tell people i found a new diet that's working for me, or tell them i've had surgery.

Thank you in advance.

Erin
 
hi erin
i am in a difficult situation at the moment as only told close family and 2 close collegues..
i am returning to work monday and have just found out 1 of the so called close collegues has told all staff in the staffroom last week even my headteacher knows now.
i wanted to tell them face to face when i was good and ready..
but hey they all know now and i have got to face all that monday not looking foward to that at all.
so i wish now that i had told them all.. i did think if i was going to tell just a few then it was the ones i could trust but obviously not..
a lesson i have learned hun the hard way.. gutted i am
emma
 
Hi Erin and Emma

Oh Emma, I can't believe someone has taken the choice out of your hands and told people. Although it might be a good thing, you'll know monday I guess when you go into work and people comment, or dont comment as they may feel like they shouldn't know because you havent told them yourself.

Erin, I wouldn't worry about other people. This is the most important thing in your life and you do it your way and how you feel comfortable with.

I decided to tell everybody I know so and explain everything so that I didnt get the Fern Britton treatment of people saying I was a fraud and cheated myself thinner. I took the plunge and made a group on facebook and invited my 250 friends (Mostly everyone I know) to join the group to read about what I was having done, i told them how much I weighed and how worried I was about contracting some of the terrible obesity related illnesses that an overweight person is prone to. The responce has been unbelieveable! I've had so many messages wishing me luck, telling me I'm brave and that how they wished they had the guts to take on something like this etc.

Just believe that. You are very brave. it's not easy to face your demons and deal with them face to face and that is what all of us on here are doing. We all feel comfortable investing in our futures, investing in other people, investing feelings in someone, investing our money in houses or shares etc but people seem to feel uncomfortable about investing in themselves. You have decided to do that and that makes you a very stong willed and determined person. One who I would be very proud to know and support!xxxx

Gina
 
hi, i must confess that i have told a whopping great lie and told everyong that i had a hernia operation,i am always on a diet so i didnot think that anyone would notice any difference, you have to do what is right for you i may decide to tell people in the future but there is so much to learn about having a band that i wanted to be sure it was working and had the desired effect, the choice is yours but once you have said it you cant retract it. think carefully

moe
 
Emma, i'm so sorry that's happened. I can see where the decision is now, tell everyone, or tell no one. I hope it's not too bad and people are supportive.

Gina, what a great idea about the facebook page. I have some thinking to do now.
 
Gina, what a great idea about the facebook page. I have some thinking to do now.[/quote]

Erin, if youre on facebook add me and look at my group. it's called Gina's gastric band journey! lol

xxx
 
Hi all, i only told my closest friends and family. i didn't tell people at work and really wish i had just been up fromt and honest with everyone. I just seem to tell one lie after another about my weight loss which everyone has noticed. i find people telling me that i am an inspiration about my weight loss and feel so guilty that they think i have done it by diet and exercise. and whilst that is true the main reason is obviously due to the bypass. i don't feel i can come clean now as they have all been so supportive and think i had a womans op!! (work with mostly men) so they don't ask. they even sent flowers when i came out of hospital.

Wish i had the confidence to have told people from the start but was so worried about peoples reactions. Good luck on how you decide to tell people x
 
I only told my close family and 2 people from college before the op and I am now faced with the dilemma of whether or not to go public when i go back.... and also with going on a six month work placement, do I tell them as I will still need hosp appointment time for fills etc - not decided what to do, but am considering going public on facebook just before going back to college - that way once one person knows they all will the way the bush telegraph works!! Not sure yet......if my family all think I am bonkers for going under the knife what is a few more people!!
 
Don't worry Tammy, with men it'd go in one ear and out the other anyway, they would only notice your ever decreasing butt! LOL
 
PS Gina, I have added you as a facebook friend x
 
From Day 1 of being put forward for Gastric Surgery I have told EVERYONE! I am proud of the fact that I have taken my future health in hand & done something about it.

And, now I have had the bypass & am losing, I won't hesitate to tell any & everyone just how I am losing the weight! "Bariatrics be proud" is what I say!!

People I have come across to date have been interested to know what it is all about & the usual reactions have been "what do you want that for?" Like, der!

Having said this, people ARE strange. My friend of the past 10 years has been beside me the whole way with pre-op tests, hospital visits, swotting up on the do's & don'ts of post-op etc & then, a couple of days before my surgery, she & my eldest sister had a hissy fit & no longer want anything to do with me! And for no reason at all!! (Have found this often happens with long-standing friends but still a shock!)

Whatever you decide, it is entirely up you & nobodys business but your own what you do or don't choose to do regarding your own body & health.
 
so so true penny. I like you have told everyone. I think it also helps aknowledge just how hard weight management is for us as ths is not an easy desision.
HC
 
ditzyangeluk said:
From Day 1 of being put forward for Gastric Surgery I have told EVERYONE! I am proud of the fact that I have taken my future health in hand & done something about it.

And, now I have had the bypass & am losing, I won't hesitate to tell any & everyone just how I am losing the weight! "Bariatrics be proud" is what I say!!

People I have come across to date have been interested to know what it is all about & the usual reactions have been "what do you want that for?" Like, der!

Having said this, people ARE strange. My friend of the past 10 years has been beside me the whole way with pre-op tests, hospital visits, swotting up on the do's & don'ts of post-op etc & then, a couple of days before my surgery, she & my eldest sister had a hissy fit & no longer want anything to do with me! And for no reason at all!! (Have found this often happens with long-standing friends but still a shock!)

Whatever you decide, it is entirely up you & nobodys business but your own what you do or don't choose to do regarding your own body & health.
Click to expand...


Hi.... I was exactly the same as you and have been totally honest with everyone about my surgery!!!!! Like you the one friend I thought i had, has completely turned on me, if you read my thread you will see how... and also how this has affected me....

I too, felt I had to be totally honest about my op and not hide what i had done... purely becuase that is me, I have had support from the people i thought wouldn't support me and no supoort from those who i thought would!!!!

Yes some people reactions are, it is the easy route or that i didnt really need it... but everyone is entitelied to there opioion and if anyone thinks this is the easy option they are far from wrong!!!!!
 
No-one can tell you what to do..... wether it is right or worng to tell people, you need to decide that for yourself! what you need to think about is which will you cope with easier...

If you tell people now, some of their attutdues and disagreement with it.... and also some peoples pressure to try and change your mind..

or

If you don't tell people and lie about it,,, that when they do find out the truth (cause people will) you will get and even bigger backlash from it and how that would make you feel then!!

You have to do what is purely right for YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You must remember that no matter what your choice we are all here for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
I agree with everything Mandy said!

I am at the stage where I have funding and I'm meeting the consultant next week.

None of my friends know a thing, several of my work colleagues do because I have openly (open plan office) discussed it with two people I work with. One has had the band and one has had the bypass. I have also told my manager.

However once I know what I am doing and I hope that once I have met with the consultant I will know then I will tell people. If anyone is negative I will simply say 'Thank you for pointing that out' and if anyone is rude then I shall simply say 'does that make you feel better'.

I have made this choice for ME and only ME. I don't want to continue living the way I am.

Some may say to you that all it takes is willpower, be strong etc. Couldn't you just sock these self rightous people one right in the gob!!!

As Mandy says it is your choice to tell people or not but remember this - it is THEIR problem if they don't support you - not yours.
 
Perissa said:
I agree with everything Mandy said!

I am at the stage where I have funding and I'm meeting the consultant next week.

None of my friends know a thing, several of my work colleagues do because I have openly (open plan office) discussed it with two people I work with. One has had the band and one has had the bypass. I have also told my manager.

However once I know what I am doing and I hope that once I have met with the consultant I will know then I will tell people. If anyone is negative I will simply say 'Thank you for pointing that out' and if anyone is rude then I shall simply say 'does that make you feel better'.

I have made this choice for ME and only ME. I don't want to continue living the way I am.

Some may say to you that all it takes is willpower, be strong etc. Couldn't you just sock these self rightous people one right in the gob!!!

As Mandy says it is your choice to tell people or not but remember this - it is THEIR problem if they don't support you - not yours.
Click to expand...


Hiya

Where do you live!
 
Not far from you! I emailed you where I live but my emails aren't getting to you as I get delivery failure messages.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

girly girl
What did you tell people
2 3
Replies
43
Views
3K
wannabeslimagain
wannabeslimagain
831phil
To Tell, or not to Tell!!
2
Replies
26
Views
2K
831phil
831phil
Suwiexx
What to tell people?
3 4 5
Replies
87
Views
15K
fjsinc
fjsinc
Banderbird
What did you tell your work?
2 3
Replies
57
Views
6K
somersetlady
S
H
Who to tell?
2
Replies
24
Views
2K
VeronicaT
VeronicaT
Back
Top