Why do I feel like this???????

[madstaffyblonde1]

Sorry just need to have a bit of a rant, I am waiting for WLS at Walsall Manor and so is a neighbour, we were meant to be going through this journey together but due to my Dr making a mistake with my referral we are now at different stages, today she went for her second appointment with Dr Kendrick, she couldn't wait to text me to tell me he had approved her for surgery and that they were checking for a op date, due to me being on here I knew that this was untrue as she has not had her pre ops yet, but why would she get great pleasure out of doing this when she know I to am desperate to have this surgery, she also told me that if I don't lose any weight I will be refused. I no that she was happy and excited but i feel she did this out of spite which she has done in the past.

The problem is I never feel full, the only time I can honestly say I felt full was when I went to a all you can eat Chinese and after 7 plate fulls felt full, other than this I can eat all day long and never stop, I have gained weight in the last 3 months and am now worrying that I will be turned down.

My next appointment is on 13/11/09 and this is to tell them that I want to go ahead with the surgery and then funding can be applied for, I have a appointment with Dr Kendrick on 11/12/09. I was hoping that funding would be in place by then so that he couldn't say no but in reality I no he could stop it :cry:

she was also moaning about a lady and man talking in the clinic about there surgery, the man talking about his loose skin and the lady that her stiches ect had burst open, she said she thought that this was disgusting infront of people whom are waiting for surgery, Im sorry but these are are the facts that things can and have gone wrong and that you will be left with unsightly skin, I would rather no before hand than after, its as if she thinks this surgery will make her into a super model over night lol.

 

[Mazza]

Oh dear, sorry your friend has upset you. Good luck with your appointment in November and the rest of your journey x

 

[mandyl]

i thought i had a friend or has basically dumped me now when we were supposed to be suporting each other so know it hurts hugs xx

 

[Roch]

Hun ur neighbour sounds really sad if she has to lie bout where she is in her journey, hun for all you know she might have to have more tests than you and end up waiting longer for her app and for surgery so dont let her worry you.
Could you ask your doc for some reductil to help you with your appetitive till your next app and maybe follow the slimming world diet as they say you should never be hungry with SW and their is a SW section here so u could get some advice and tips to follow the plan try and drop a few pounds b4 ur app.

Maybe you could post here and ask the other W manor peeps how the procedure goes for funding and if u have gained a few pounds would that stop them putting in for ur funding on ur next app, at least you know all our wls crew will give you the right info not like your neighbour
Take care hun and ((((big hugs ))))) xxxx

 

[thinkbethin]

Sorry your friend has stressed you like this sweetheart. It is'nt always the case though for her to get her surgery before you. I had my pre ops way before some had even seen the surgeon and still had my op after them. Not that it was there fault but things happen to delay one person and that puts the next one forward. Once she has her pre op assessment they may delay her op due to something they find, who knows eh?? At mine they found I was diebetic and my bp was sky high so my op got delayed.You may be 3 stone down before she gets her op lolxxxx

 

[Tyraboots]

Women are their own worst enemies. No woman, apart from a parent or close family member wants another woman to look better than her. It is a basic female instinct, its how we get the best men for ourselves.

I think you have made the mistake of confusing support with sisterhood. Ultimately it is your journey to make alone. It is about you not her. Don't let her get into your mind and destroy your thoughts and plans for yourself. She is interferring with your progress. Don't let her. It will be you on the operation table, not her. And it should be you deciding what goes in your mouth, not her. She is pissing you off and making you over eat. Don't let her. You are very lucky in that you know what she is up to. Leave it like that. Tell her little from now on. Keep her at arms length.

Its not a race to see who gets what first. Its a jog not a sprint. Keep focused on you, what you want.

And more importantly, enjoy the support you get from this forum, we are on your side. We want the best for you.

 

[madstaffyblonde1]

Thanx for your replys and you are all right this is a journey I have to make by myself, I thought it would be easier to have someone there going through the same thing at the same time, but then when I thought about it I have you lot, the only difference is your all genuine, it makes no difference if I am before you or after you we are in this together and support each other so I dont need her or her advise.

 

[Bonita]

Tyra's right. This isn't a competition to see who gets there first. Its much more important than that, its your life!

Besides different WLS surgery dates does not always mean she will lose weight before or quicker than you. I've lost a tremendous amount of weight, much more than those that were bypassed at the same time and more than those that were bypassed a couple of months before me. It means absolutely nothing, look what I've had to go through to lose it and remember, we all end up the same in the end.

I get the impression this woman is maybe unknowingly making you feel bad in an effort to feel better about herself, or maybe she misunderstood what Mr Kendrick said or meant. I have to say that on my first ever visit I assumed that Mr Hartland was the surgeon and took him at face value when he gave me a date in March.

She may be telling the truth, she could have been told that, we all know the team is all over the place at the moment with this new system and getting ready to move across to the new hospital.

AND.... Its a damn good job I wasn't at that clinic, because I certainly wouldn't have been happy about being put down like that simply because I was unfortunate enough to have something go wrong. God forbid it doesn't happen to her.

You concentrate on your own journey love and let her get on with hers, its obvious she isn't going to be supportive, that I'm sure you'll get in bucket loads from here.

(((HUGS)))

 

[Boblatina]

Sorry just need to have a bit of a rant, I am waiting for WLS at Walsall Manor and so is a neighbour, we were meant to be going through this journey together but due to my Dr making a mistake with my referral we are now at different stages, today she went for her second appointment with Dr Kendrick, she couldn't wait to text me to tell me he had approved her for surgery and that they were checking for a op date, due to me being on here I knew that this was untrue as she has not had her pre ops yet, but why would she get great pleasure out of doing this when she know I to am desperate to have this surgery, she also told me that if I don't lose any weight I will be refused. I no that she was happy and excited but i feel she did this out of spite which she has done in the past.

I think that Bonitas post was excellent. Everybody is different. Some people will sail through the process not wanting to know anything more than "you will lose weight" whilst others will want to know more about WLS than their surgeon!!!

Personally, I don't think that I would be too happy to hear people talking about their post-surgery problems in the context of a clinic waiting area - any more than I would be happy to hear any non-WLS patients there talking about WLS in terms of "cheating" and the "easy option". (There are likely to be sensitive people there with their own problems and fears so why gab away when you could be frightening or hurting or offending anyone? I swear like a trooper but I would make sure I curbed my language when I was around people I dodn't know who might be offended - it's just common courtesy) However, I have been thorough in finding out as much about the op (pros and cons) in my own research. There is a time and a place. )

I think that there are 2 things that you have to remember here.

The first is that YOUR journey is YOUR journey and no one elses. Everybody proceeds at different rates through the process and being jealous of someone else proceeding more quickly or being smug because someone else is not proceeding as quickly as you will not make you get your operation any quicker and will not make you lose an ounce more.

The second thing is that she might not be intentionally spinning you a yarn about her appointment. She might genuinely believe that that is what she has been told - even if she was actually told somethingt completely different! Many people (well, actually, pretty much everyone I think ) just hears what they want to hear (good OR bad) when they have their appointments and not much else.

I think that we can all think of other genuine posters on here who have got completely the wrong end of the stick about when their surgery will "definitely" be or what will happen before they get surgery or even what further steps are going to follow. (eg I can think of people on Minis not realising that they still need approval from the MDT or even that they need to have their funding approved or being shocked that they need an appointment with a psych.)

I am sorry to say this - and I do not want to be thought of as nasty here - but you seem possibly to be projecting an awful lot of your own worries and your own desperation to have surgery onto her. YOU are the only person you should be worrying about - stop worrying about her or anyone else and concentrate on the important person here - YOU!!!!!!

love

TillyBob

 

[Big an Bouncy]

Drop her ,thats one load of excess weight you can do without!!!

 

[thinkbethin]

Drop her ,thats one load of excess weight you can do without!!!

LOL!!!

 

[madstaffyblonde1]

Boblatina I can assure you I am in no way jealous of her wls, It is the way she is conducting herself, yes I am as desparate as the next person but I will get my surgery hopefully one day, I would not hold that against anyone. This so called friend has been caught out over other lies that she told like when she asked me my BMI I told her 42 ive nothing to hide she looked at me in disgust, telling me her's was only 36, I thought nothing of this and when she asked me to go with her to see Dr Kendrick I did as I want to support her as much as she needs but I was shocked to see that her starting BMI was not 36 but 48 why lie about something like that. As others have said time to drop her I think

 

[Brunetteandred]

Tyra and Bonita have said it all for me. It is very easy to compare your own progress (before and after WLS) and I have been guilty of that myself. It ios hard, but as this woman is obviously having a detrimental effect on you, I would deffo drop the association and concentrate on your own journey.