I would literally run to the hospital and bound on to that operating table again if I had to because of what this surgery has given to me.
I am just about seven and a half months out of surgery now and have lost over 6st, not as much as many others on here, I am a slowish loser, but I am thrilled with what I have lost so far and feel so much better for it.
Before surgery I was always suffering in some way or another, either headaches or aching joints, an agonising bad back or depression, my diabetes was spiralling quickly out of control and I started insulin as well as my Metformin, my irritable bowel was going crazy and my PCOS was making my periods crazy.
I stopped the insulin on the first day of the pre-op diet and have never taken anything for the diabetes since then, I still have hypo's (quite often lately strangely) and if I eat something sweet (naturally sweet as I dont eat sugar or high sugar foods) my blood sugars will spike, so I havent had a magical cure for my diabetes, but I am now classed as diet controlled and am a LOT better for it, most of the time you wouldnt know that Im diabetic, even when my sugars spike it is only really 9 or 10 at the highest.
My back doesnt hurt really badly like before, it used to really hurt in my lower back and now it doesnt, I used to be in agony after standing up for an hour and now my lower back never hurts for that reason, it only hurts the last couple of days because I was helping out a little boy with mobility issues at work and I pranged a muscle and then it isnt so bad. I cant say that I get NO pain at all, my back pain has shifted upwards and I do get it around my bra strap area but my theory is that it is because a lot of my loose skin is on my front and so is weighing me down a bit, I wear a slimming vest a lot of the time and it really helps it and to be fair, the pain isnt constant and it is manageable and so I dont mind it.
My knees and joints...hhhmmmm, mostly my knees are good, I have general wear and tear in one knee and it also has a little extra bone growth in the joint and I injured it a few times years back and so it does still hurt sometimes but it is purely caused by the condition of the bone and not because my frame is just so massive that Im crushing bits, again, even this discomfort doesnt make me regret it.
My hips are a new pain since the surgery, they seem a lot less flexible and I cant open my legs as wide (oooerrrr!!!) and if I move into a position quickly that involves my hips, like twisting from a seating position to standing, it can hurt and click loudly, I am thinking that now that my body doesnt have the fat numbing my nerves that it is just a natural aspect of my body and it is only now that my body is more sensitive that I can feel it and have to be more cautious. A few people have also said that it could be my body trying to adjust to the way my body keeps changing shape and it will calm down when I reach goal and am staying roughly the same weight, maybe my body will get used to it.
My irritable bowel does still rear its head but only when my body has a stupid hormonal 'do' and then it hurts a bit but it isnt really often and it is rather mild and doesnt need any medication to soothe it, so that is fine too.
My PCOS appeared to be sorting itself out in the three months following the op and I had three regular monthly periods lasting two days and was light, I was THRILLED, then it stopped!!! My periods have vanished again as they used to for years at a time and I still get some ovary pain, though it isnt constant and agonising like it used to be, I had hoped for a cure but nope, not happened there, I suspect that the doctors were wrong and that it WASNT just my weight causing my period/fertility problems, hey ho, what can you do!
Depression...I wasnt manic depressed before, I just more drifted in and out of depressed states, that has stopped since surgery, the weight loss and body changes has boosted me wonderfully and I have a much better attitude to life and am just happier.
Right...lets talk about sex!!! Before surgery sex was ok, it was a little uncomfy on occassion because of my PCOS I think, but mostly it took a HARD effort for me to become sensitive and orgasms would take ages to achieve. Not now, I am much more sensitive and find sex more...well, sexy lol and orgasms happen much much quicker, it can literally take thirty seconds to achieve one and they are sooooooo much more intense, they are fantastically awesome and I adore them hehe so does hubby hehehe With that though, I am much more sensitive in not great ways now, hubby has to be a LOT gentler with me and sometimes we have to stop, it is just too sensitive and uncomfy for me, I realise that because there is less padding hubbys parts reach bits that they didnt before, so I understand the being gentler bit but I dont understand why it can be so tender and uncomfy at times to the point of HAVING to stop, that is an issue that is showing itself more now and I will chat to my gynae about it at some point if it becomes too bad, but in general, sex is much MUCH better and when we do it without discomfort, which can be often, I am sooooooooooo much happier about it.
I am one of the lucky people that hasnt thrown up after food once since surgery, I have felt very sick and had to sit over a bowl spitting for ten minutes when I have overfilled myself on a few occassions, but nothing has really disagreed with me to the point of being sick or making me swear off that food. I dont eat bread or cakes but I do eat fajita wraps now and then, I dont miss the bread or the cakes and it is my personal choice not to eat them. I also dont eat rice, pastry, chocolate, sweets, chewing gum and I dont drink fizzy drinks or alcohol. That is totally my choice and I am again one of the lucky ones that found surgery to be my reset button with food and it has given me a strength to not have things and be fine with that, it enpowers me, though I do realise that I am VERY lucky in that aspect.
So there are not so great aspects of this journey, my hair falling out loads wasnt fun, but its growing back now so all is well there.
My skin is soooooooooo much better, I used to be so pale and now I have lovely clear skin with lovely pink cheeks most of the time.
I used to hate to get out and about, I wanted to just hide from the world and getting out and about hurt, simply shopping would agonise me at times, now I find reasons to go out for exercise as I could walk and walk and walk all day long without tiring and without anything hurting and I dont want to hide away any more, I want the world to see me and I feel proud of who I am becoming and what I am achieving.
I can now look in the mirror and smile, I used to avoid mirrors and simply putting on make up really upset me because I would HAVE to look at myself for more than a few seconds and I didnt like that, I cant say that I could stare in the mirror for hours now, because it would bore me and I am still getting used to the ever changing new me, but putting make up on doesnt bother me now and I do like the mirror, I take shed loads of photos of myself too, because I am so fascinated by the changes in myself whereas I used to do a record breaking sprint to escape a camera lol
I love that I now blend in, I am just another average person in the street like everyone else, I dont stand out for being mega fat like I did before, people used to look at me like OH MY GOD, LOSE SOME WEIGHT FATTY but they dont now and I love that.
So it isnt easy, denying yourself things that other people see as normal (should you choose to be like me and actually deny yourself things) isnt always easy, I dont always feel like I am being fair with myself, but it enpowers me and I love that I can now do this for myself, but if anyone ever told me I was doing the easy thing then I would smack seven shades of respect into them!!! lol
All in all it is a total rollercoaster...you have the dips and low parts but my oh my do you get the highs, the wonderful soaring highs when you are on top of the world, so very very happy and feeling great, they are awesome and nobody could ever truly understand them until they experience them.
It is so totally worth it for me that even looking back over the negative stuff that I have shared here doesnt make me regret it, because everybody has issues of some kind, surgery or not, so I am simply normal...for once in my life I am normal and my God does that feel damnnnnnnnnn good hehe
Ok, looking back over my diary on here, the first few months were rough and I totally regretted it all, I cried to hubby to please make me normal again, put me back how I was, but I got over that and now I adore my bypass, it is a true gift in my life and I would have it done again every single year of my life if I had to to get this awesome feeling that it has given to me.
So you go for it, go in to it with open eyes, that there could be issues and challenges, but also with a positivity from the knowledge that it could take you to wonderful places and show you a new way of life. I bet you will rock your new life and will be as in love with your journey as I am.
Steph xx
