:-(

[Laura b]

Just been looking at my mates pictures on facebook and came across a picture of me when I lost 6 stone bk then I still felt as big as I do now I couldn't see the difference but now iv just seen it I feel so so sad that I looked that fab I really did now I look a big fat mess!
Why did I put all the weight bk on?? Why have i let myself get into such a state?? I feel truly awful now :-(

 

[Sambucca]

Aww Laura, rest assured that the last time I saw you, you looked beautiful, but I know its how we feel about ourselves that is important.

Dont beat yourself up for gaining the weight. Thats why the majority of us are here, either because we couldnt lose the weight, or maintain the loss on our own. You have taken your health into your own hands now and are doing something about it, and looking back will only make you sad.

I feel the same about my pre-op pics now. I cant bear to look at them. I am disgusted at the size I got to, and cant believe I couldnt see at the time just how awful my appearance was, but like I said, its in the past and looking back just makes me sad...

So look forward hun. Think about how much healthier and slimmer you will be this time next year. Think how proud K & Z will be of their beautiful mommy, and how your OH will be proud to take you out with you on his arm.

Love ya x

 

[Laura b]

Awww sam u made me cry!!!
I do feel awful bcus I couldn't see how good I looked bk then.. The weight has come bk without me realising, I carnt bear to look in a mirror I feel so disgusted in myself I really do!!
Thanks for ur nice words though I'm deffo looking forward to the future xx

 

[dottychic]

Aw hun loads of us feel exactly the same. I lost nearly 10 stone years ago and when I see pictures now I could cry! I vowed I would never put the weight back on.....I did and another 3+ stone! Thats why most of us are here like Sam says, we have lots in common and from what I can see from your pic and from your posts you are beautiful inside and put whatever weight you are (HUGS) Cheer up hun, you will loose it again and more XX

 

[Laura b]

I'm gonna blame my hormones here ( can I still do that even though my babys nearly 6 months lol) u made me cry too!!
Just feel so down about myself after seeing that picture it's very disheartening wen u then look in the mirror and see a big fat person staring bk... I don't think I realised b4 actually how big I am!!
I know ill get there again with the help of u lot on here and also my bypass but I feel that if I had just carried on I wouldn't have to b goin through all this iv ate myself to this state :-( I'm ashamed!!!!
Xx

 

[phatmomma]

Right i have to disagree with Sam and the others straight off! So you've got a few extra pounds on you, big deal! That's purely cosmetic and when your old n ugly people won't remember what size clothes you wore, they'll remember you were/are beautiful and how nice a person you are. Believe me Laura when people who really love you look at you they don't see the size of your ass they see the size of your heart

Your children do not see a fat person, they see a person who gives them love and is always there for them. In their little minds they are full of love and pride for their wonderful mommy...

So no more crying, being fat is not a criminal offence, if it was i'd have been locked up a long time ago.....

In a years time your picture on facebook will be a new one of a slimmer healthier woman, keep the faith pretty lady xx

 

[Laura b]

Awww thank u Hun, it is true my fella and kids love me just the way I am they really don't see my size but I showed my fella the pic and he was like yea u do look slimmer and younger but I love u no matter wat ur size is!!
Hopefully I do look bk in a yrs time and I'm a differant person cus I really don't like me at the moment
Thanks for putting it in perpective though I know it's not a criminal offence and like u say wen I'm old they won't remember the size of my butt but I wanna enjoy my life now as a thinner healthy person I'm only 25 still got my whole life (hopefully) ahead of me this op is gonna be the best gift ever I'm gonna take full advantage xxxx

 

[bubblyangie]

Hey Misses, I know it must get you down but you are on the way to getting back there and beyond, so chin up and look forward stop looking back, whats done is done, and soon that weight will be dropping off again.............. Good times are coming in 2011...... start saving for the new clothes now!!!!

 

[Laura b]

Awww thanks ang I know I should stop looking bk ur right wats done is done I just happened to look through his pics though and find it and it made me realise how big iv actually got :-( so looking forward to 2011 new yr new me xxx

 

[sugga]

Yes lady, you will lose the weight.
You are beautiful inside and out.
You will look amazing in time.
You are loved, and you love your loved ones.
You are going to look fantastic and you will never look back.
Keep focused love because your wls is in view. xxxxx

 

[Laura b]

Thanks Hun xxx

 

[pink butterfly]

I know how you feeling hun....but try & remember the new life you have a ahead of you....there will come a time when you look back on those photos & will feel nothing but happy at the memories....but remember u have loved ones around you for a reason because you are who you are.....its only a matter of time till you start loving yourself too...stay strong gorgeous girl xxx

 

[Laura b]

Thank u so much!!
I'm still feeling down today but all these msgs r so lovely thank u xxxx

 

[PoppyCorn]

Firstly I agree 100% with Julie.

However I totally understand where you're coming from. As long as I can remember I've thought of myself as fat, even though I was only ever mildly chubby (as a child/teen) - if I look at old pictures I'm genuinely shocked at how slim I was, as I never felt that way.

Early last year (before I began my quest for health) I was walking towards the glass double doors at work and caught sight of this huge woman waddling towards me, and I felt such pity for her.
Imagine my horror as I realised 'she' was me!

What you need to understand is our self perception is completely warped and not to be trusted! I didn't know when I looked great and I didn't truly acknowledge how huge I had become.

Even now I know not to fully trust what I 'think' I see - still huge belly, slight double chin, saggy boobs, flabby arms etc, yet I fit into DP size 14 skinny jeans (and they're loose!?). And everyone keeps telling me how great I look.

What I'm saying is - Laura, ignore what you see in the mirror and only go by what your hubby and kids tell you, you are untrustworthy in judging yourself, and far too harsh.

Will you look better when you drop some weight maybe, but as far as I can see in your pic you look pretty great now!

Hugs and kisses
Poppy xx

 

[Laura b]

Poppy thanks so much for that message it's lovely
I agree with all that and maybe I shouldn't b harsh on myself I'm a happy person normally always life and soul of everything but I was just feeling down and still am a bit but with lots of love of my oh and kiddies I'll b feeling better soon I'm sure xxxxx

 

[angie790]

Lots of great advice, but I'm going to agree with what Sam says...it really is lovely that your OH clearly loves you unconditionally...just as it should be! However, I personally feel it's all very well your kids & OH loving you 'for who you are', but if you just hate the sight of yourself, that love doen't make it any easier to live with yourself. My OH often has said to me weight has never been an issue for him (just as well really considering how morbidly obese I ended up), but despite his kind words, I still loathed myself. Like Sam pointed out, although I am losing weight now, I still can't believe how grotesque I ended up...I am so ashamed & disgusted with myself. I do agree that us 'fatties' are an easy target and are often castigated, whereas if I were a drug-addict, a gambler or an alcoholic, I would probably receive far more sympathy & help....but that will never change how I feel/felt about me being as fat as I was. However, what I will say is that you know you are overweight & you recognise that you need help in getting the weight off & to maintain a healthy BMI...that's brilliant, you've taken the most difficult step so as bubblyangie said, try to focus on the positive aspect of moving forward and not to dwell on what was and now cannot be changed xxxx

 

[Laura b]

Ang all wat u have said makes great sence and I know iv took the biggest step for asking for help and u know wats different this time I'm determined iv been thinking about it all day and normally I carnt diet without goin to a group or class and this time I'm not seeing it as a diet but a change in lifestyles and it's working I'm sticking to it and not missing all the foods I ate b4 this time I wanna change my life I wanna b healthy I wanna wear clothes that my friends r able to wear and feel great iv gave myself a good talking too after a good old cry and from now on I'm looking forward not backwards Iv lost 6lb so far the last couple of weeks and I know that's 6lb I'm never gonna see again I'm gonna weigh myself nxt weekend see how I'm doin deffo not gonna weigh myself every week just gonna continue with wat I'm doin and hope that my weight continues to go down!
Thanks so much everyone for ur lovely messages and support, after speaking to my fella about it and crying to my mom I feel better cus like u all they have said the same that look to the future and what a great future I'm gonna have!! I know the next 18months-2 yrs r gonna b really hard but knowing ur all here wen I need u is deffo goin to help me xxxxx

 

[angie790]

That's the spirit love, chins up & bellies in as my friend used to say!!! You really won't know yourself a few months after your surgery...and even though it can be a rollercoaster as many people's diaries are a testament to, the one resounding thing that comes across is that almost no-one regrets their surgery! xxxx

 

[Laura b]

thanks ang xxxx

 

[Serapis Bey]

Just been looking at my mates pictures on facebook and came across a picture of me when I lost 6 stone bk then I still felt as big as I do now I couldn't see the difference but now iv just seen it I feel so so sad that I looked that fab I really did now I look a big fat mess!
Why did I put all the weight bk on?? Why have i let myself get into such a state?? I feel truly awful now :-(

Laura,

I can really empathise with you hun. I lost 8 stone a few years ago & though I still looked chubby in pictures. There aren't any pictures of me in facebook (slim or big) but I've seen family pictures of me back then, and pictures of me now. Its really hard to look at the comparison between the two.

I've avoided seeing old friends because of the embarrassment of how I look now. Hopefully I'll feel better about myself in the next 6 months.

Just remember Laura, you are doing something about your weight & in a few months time I bet you'll look and feel better than you did in the 'slim' pictures.

Keep your chin up girl. You look gorgeous in your profile picture anyway x