I wasn't sure about starting a thread on my journey as so many others have and I kind of like just joining in with yours and asking questions when needed. But today is 3 weeks to go and serving as a timely reminder that surgery is fast approaching, I had to pay for my op! That will be one hell of a credit card bill next month. But I am sure in my mind that it is worth it and I also hope that one day it will be paid off!
My name is Shelley and I turned 34 last weekend. I am in a civil partnership with Becca and together we have 7 children: Cait 13, Josh 12, Hannah 10 and Niamh 7 from my first hetero marriage and and Rosie 5, Noa 3, and Freddie 1 whom we have had together but carried by Becca by the same AI donor. So all in all we have 5 girls and 2 boys!
I have been the 'chubby' girl throughout my life, but was particularly good at Judo, fighting for GB from the age of 11 - 18 and prior to the 'surprise' pregnancy and accident was in training for the Sydney Olympics, it was always my dream but becoming a mum was something i never thought i would ever do. Now I am glad that fate brought me my family more than anything in the world. Any way, thanks to being seen as the person not to be messed with and attending a well thought of girls grammar school, I didn't have any problems at school. People came to me if there was a problem, but even so, I still hated my weight and longed to be smaller. It was a very strange predicament in my head. I fought at a certain weight band and on occasion had to eat more to make sure i made it, i trained 6 days a week and was very fit for my size, people always used to comment on my stamina, yet there was no real weight loss and i never seemed to physically get any smaller.
When I started uni, i was still fighting regularly and was also a member of the west of england uni rugby team. I was very aware of my sexuality but as I was reading Theology with the aim of being Ordained it seemed the best idea to just hide it and get a boy friend. One thing led to another and towards the end of my first year I found out i was pregnant. I had to stop all contact sports and this is when the weight piled on. i was no longer chubby but fat!
When i was 8 months pregnant with my daughter i was working late at a restaurant, to cover my uni bills and fell on a slippery floor. I smashed the bottom of my spine and pre eclampsia set in with the pregnancy. i was on immediate bed rest until she was born at 37 weeks and still after I struggled with mobility due to fracturing my spine in 2 places. The weight continued to pile on.
I continued at uni and graduated whilst being 5 months pregnant with my son, at this point there was no operation that could be done on my spine so it healed slightly out of place and made my spine twist, it was incredibly painful and meant that i had gone from a very active life to one that hurt to do anything. It was also hard looking after a small child and being pregnant. Hey ho I didn't learn and went on to have 2 further children. It was 6 months after having my last daughter that, thanks to having private medical insurance, I was given revolutionary surgery and my consultant replaced 2 vertabrae with metal and bolts and fused my lower spine. This has really helped my mobility and pain in my back, however, as i was fully aware the operation had huge risks attached and a bolt went through my sciatic nerve causing my left leg to lose sensation and my whole sciatic nerve to buzz constantly. 2 years later i was also diagnosed with fibromyalgia and will always be on a concoction of medication including daily morphine to keep active.
Over this time my weight has fluxuated greatly at my lowest I was a size 14, at my heaviest a size 22. I know in the great scheme of things that this is not huge, but with my other disabilities and issues, it is severly affecting my life and to loose weight may mean that i can stay on my feet longer and avoid what i know will eventually happen of going into a wheelchair.
I have been investigating surgery for over a year, I was aware that i did not meet my PCT's criteria and so set about finding a surgeon that would do the op but also be sympathetic to my fibro and nerve conduction issues. I found Mr Sigurrdson through the Hospital Group and although you could never call him a chatty man with an excellent bedside manner. I like his straight to the fact way of speaking and he was realistic in my particular side effects and difficulties with over coming the initial operation.
My wife came with me and had decided that if i was under 15 stone (can not believe she thought i ever was) she would talk me out of it but if i was heavier that she could see the positives and would support me. When I weighed in at 17 1/2 stone I was suprised i was not more but she was shocked, i would never have allowed her to know in any other circumstance. (She isn't skinny but a happy size 14 - just where i would like to be.) So it was agreed after finding out the jaw dropping cost that i would go ahead with the gastric bi pass. i could have and some people say i should have the band, but to me it seemed pointless. However much weight i loose i will never be able to climb the stairs, let alone run them! I wont be able to walk miles, without thinking of going jogging ever again. One day i will be in a wheel chair and unable to use up calories, however little i put in. If i have a bi pass it will support my weight stability long term, or so it is hoped!
So operation is booked at the Princess Royal hospital, Telford for the 4th May. I am the only op he is doing that day - one benefit of being difficult i suppose. I go for my pre op on the 27th April. Things seemed so far away, yet now i have paid for it, things are suddenly very close. Since my initial consultation i have lost 1 1/2 stone which i am really pleased with, just cutting out pop and bread - i am also a coeliac, which makes food interesting but vile!
My biggest worry of having the op, however stupid is loosing my bust! it is the only attribute i have and one i am longing to keep hold of. The rest of me wobbles already so a bit of saggy fat less wobbling sounds not to bad although the thought of getting sores in and creases makes me wince. Because i have to sit down so much i guess i will be at an increased risk. Does anyone else suffer with this?
The thing that i am looking forward to the most and the only reason i am doing this is to being able to walk my daughters the 150m to school and back. I can do this maybe once a month at the moment, she would be so happy if this became a regular ocurrence.
And i suppose being able to stay doing the job i love for as long as possible would be a bonus - especially when it comes to paying that credit card. Once I am in a chair i have been told that the risk levels associated with the young people i work with, will be too great and then i am unsure what will happen. As for that other bit i through in a little earlier, I am now also going through ordination assessment with the hope of being Ordained in 2014 or there abouts. Then i will happily resign from my post.
The hope of my diary, now you know almost every thing about me! Is to be a source of support and hope. So many of you are such strength to soo many. I really hope that my journey will be as successful.
