-
Hi, If you cannot get into the site, be sure to Contact Us. Please be advised that the app is no longer in use!
Announcing the delivery of Alice (band)! I've done it!
- Thread starter Cowgirl
- Start date
hopelesscase
New Member
Hope all goes well for you all.
HC
HC
phatgirl
New Member
Way to go Gina. Are you sure you didn't get the bypass instead, the way the weight is falling off you, you might want to check. Hehe. Just kidding, you are working it just the right way, you should be proud. You really are the model patient using the band as a tool to reach your goals, I am sure you will be an inspiration to others considering surgery.
Keep it up. Like I always say you are a superstar, rock star and wonder woman.
Keep it up. Like I always say you are a superstar, rock star and wonder woman.
Cowgirl
Licks the lid of life!
Er Miss Dee! Age before beauty! I swear I'm younger than you!!!!
Cowgirl
Licks the lid of life!
Way to go Gina. Are you sure you didn't get the bypass instead, the way the weight is falling off you, you might want to check. Hehe. Just kidding, you are working it just the right way, you should be proud. You really are the model patient using the band as a tool to reach your goals, I am sure you will be an inspiration to others considering surgery.
Keep it up. Like I always say you are a superstar, rock star and wonder woman.
Youre so lovely to me, thank you!xxxx
Ah thank you Lesley!xxx
Hiya. Really enjoyed reading your diary. Congrats on your success so far, brill!
Thank you Lyn! This is just the beginning!!
LancsLass2
New Member
Not sure how old u 2 r actually. I`ve just turned 30. But your only as old as the man u feel and mines 18!!! ( Lol only joking he`s 28 hahaha):giggle:
Cowgirl
Licks the lid of life!
I'm 28, 29 on 4th dec!
Cowgirl
Licks the lid of life!
I have had a strange day today. Strange emotionally.
I dont know if any of you remember reading about my ex. We're still kinda friends, not pally pally but email to see how each other is doing every now and then. The last time I saw him was 2nd September this year and the following week we talked about "us"! He said he couldnt commit to me as he didn't want to get hrt by allowing himself to get close to someone (me) who could potentially have health problems due to their weight. I was mortified at the time. I have known him for 3 years and we have been on and off loads in those 3 years. I have loved him for the past 2 years, no one else has come close to him. And every time I have seen him or been with him I try my hardest, do myself up, look nice, wear something nice, try to allure him, make him want me etc... I realised when doing a lot of soul searching and demon facing in the lead up to my op that I wanted his acceptance. Thats all I had ever wanted from him. I had always been good enough when he wanted me and then pushed away when things got close as thats how he is, cant allow himself to get close to anyone for fear of getting hurt. This stems back to problems in his childhood. But I just wanted him to want me the way I wanted him. Sounds very sad writing this but I need to get it off my chest and I find letting it out on here to all my friend very theroputic!
In realising that I wanted his acceptence, I asked myself why. I realised it was a divertion. I needed to accept myself, not for someone else to accept me. As painful as it is I faced my fears and started admitting that my unhappiness was down to my weight and began to love myself. I love me cos I'm the most important thing to me and I should not let anyone treat me any less no matter who they are. Still being in love with the man I think about him often, and started to appreciate that things would not work between us ever. Not because he didnt want me, but because I don't need someone like that in my life. Having my band fitted was almost like being re-born! My new life, a new me! My attitude has changed. I'm consentrating on me right now and making myself happy. I don't want a man at the moment, I want to feel contented enough within me to allow someone else the plessure of loving me! Lol
Anyway, Mark emailed me last night, asking how I'm getting on and if I am still pleased I went through with it. I replied to him this morning and told him how happy I was and how much my life had changed already. I ended up going round to his tonight for a cuppa and a chat. I know this would really test me. I still love him, not in love with him, but I love him. I'd be there for him in a flash. But I was amazed that I didn't WANT him! Sitting there on the sofa, messing about and having a laugh, I still didn't want him. I didn't want him to want me. I didn't need his approval or acceptance!
I could have cried before I left him. I felt very strange. I told him I felt strange and he asked why. I told him that it was because I didnt want him. He said "Oh thanks" but I didnt mean it horribly! I told him I knew it wouldnt work between us ever, we've been through too much. He said that maybe he loves me in his own way, but didnt really know what love felt like, how sad. Driving home I felt free of him. Free of the feelings of need and want, but then I felt sad and empty. As strange as it sounds I feel sad that I don't want him anymore! Ive spent 3 years of my life wanting to be wanted by him and now I don't! He said he could really feel how much weight Id lost already with his arms around me when we hugged as I was leaving. I wanted to cry again! I felt like I was saying goodbye to him. Goodbye to all those feelings wrapping me up for all this time.
It just shows how having dealt with my issues what a different and stronger person I am becoming already. I knew this was gonna be a test of myself tonight and I thought I would crack. But I shocked myself instead! My inner love for my welfare is stronger than the need of him. How refreshing! Still feels a bit strange though, I came home and cried before I wrote this. I had to let it out. It was like I was morning my feelings for him. Very weird! But a release nonetheless! Tonight I faced my biggest challenge yet.... and won!
I dont know if any of you remember reading about my ex. We're still kinda friends, not pally pally but email to see how each other is doing every now and then. The last time I saw him was 2nd September this year and the following week we talked about "us"! He said he couldnt commit to me as he didn't want to get hrt by allowing himself to get close to someone (me) who could potentially have health problems due to their weight. I was mortified at the time. I have known him for 3 years and we have been on and off loads in those 3 years. I have loved him for the past 2 years, no one else has come close to him. And every time I have seen him or been with him I try my hardest, do myself up, look nice, wear something nice, try to allure him, make him want me etc... I realised when doing a lot of soul searching and demon facing in the lead up to my op that I wanted his acceptance. Thats all I had ever wanted from him. I had always been good enough when he wanted me and then pushed away when things got close as thats how he is, cant allow himself to get close to anyone for fear of getting hurt. This stems back to problems in his childhood. But I just wanted him to want me the way I wanted him. Sounds very sad writing this but I need to get it off my chest and I find letting it out on here to all my friend very theroputic!
In realising that I wanted his acceptence, I asked myself why. I realised it was a divertion. I needed to accept myself, not for someone else to accept me. As painful as it is I faced my fears and started admitting that my unhappiness was down to my weight and began to love myself. I love me cos I'm the most important thing to me and I should not let anyone treat me any less no matter who they are. Still being in love with the man I think about him often, and started to appreciate that things would not work between us ever. Not because he didnt want me, but because I don't need someone like that in my life. Having my band fitted was almost like being re-born! My new life, a new me! My attitude has changed. I'm consentrating on me right now and making myself happy. I don't want a man at the moment, I want to feel contented enough within me to allow someone else the plessure of loving me! Lol
Anyway, Mark emailed me last night, asking how I'm getting on and if I am still pleased I went through with it. I replied to him this morning and told him how happy I was and how much my life had changed already. I ended up going round to his tonight for a cuppa and a chat. I know this would really test me. I still love him, not in love with him, but I love him. I'd be there for him in a flash. But I was amazed that I didn't WANT him! Sitting there on the sofa, messing about and having a laugh, I still didn't want him. I didn't want him to want me. I didn't need his approval or acceptance!
I could have cried before I left him. I felt very strange. I told him I felt strange and he asked why. I told him that it was because I didnt want him. He said "Oh thanks" but I didnt mean it horribly! I told him I knew it wouldnt work between us ever, we've been through too much. He said that maybe he loves me in his own way, but didnt really know what love felt like, how sad. Driving home I felt free of him. Free of the feelings of need and want, but then I felt sad and empty. As strange as it sounds I feel sad that I don't want him anymore! Ive spent 3 years of my life wanting to be wanted by him and now I don't! He said he could really feel how much weight Id lost already with his arms around me when we hugged as I was leaving. I wanted to cry again! I felt like I was saying goodbye to him. Goodbye to all those feelings wrapping me up for all this time.
It just shows how having dealt with my issues what a different and stronger person I am becoming already. I knew this was gonna be a test of myself tonight and I thought I would crack. But I shocked myself instead! My inner love for my welfare is stronger than the need of him. How refreshing! Still feels a bit strange though, I came home and cried before I wrote this. I had to let it out. It was like I was morning my feelings for him. Very weird! But a release nonetheless! Tonight I faced my biggest challenge yet.... and won!
shelbell
Proudly maintaining
Gina well done :clap: you've been on a fantastic journey emotionally and learned that lesson that most people struggle with for the whole of their lives, that in order to truly be loved we have to love ourselves. If we don't love ourselves, we don't feel worthy of being loved, so how can it ever work? It's absolutely fantastic that you've realised that and then had the balls to accept it and make changes in yourself emotionally. Huge huge well done.
You'll meet the right guy, and when you do you'll be able to enjoy a strong relationship based on love and respect, instead of need, which will be amazing for you x
You'll meet the right guy, and when you do you'll be able to enjoy a strong relationship based on love and respect, instead of need, which will be amazing for you x
well done you, i think wls is a huge thing to go through, and we've all been on a rollercoaster with our emotions but we all seem to come through it at the other end and i think that we all value ourselves a lot more for it, and i think that you needed to go through what you did last night to realise that your new life is now begining
Cowgirl
Licks the lid of life!
Hi Shell
Thank you. I still feel shocked myself! Didnt sleep well!
Thank you Helen.
Life's amazing isn't it? Never fails to amaze me. Just when you think you know yourself! Lol
charliegirl
New Member
Hi Gina, I went through a similar thing but it took 18 years of drifting in and out with each other for me to finally admit I no longer need to have him in my life, its very liberating to be free and we need to experience some heartache in order to grow stronger and appreciate other things. My turning point only came this year so I am a little a head of you but I understand where your coming from chick...xx
Cowgirl
Licks the lid of life!
Thanks Linda, its a shame we have to go through it, but I s'pose its what makes us us!
phatgirl
New Member
Well done Gina and thanks for sharing. Your honesty and bravery never fail to surprise me.
People wonder sometimes why divorce rates among post-op wls people is so high- it comes down to what you just experienced. When we learn to love who we are, our 'need' for relationships that are painful and flawed disappear. You have shown in your behaviour that you are not willing to settle which was not the case just a few months ago. GOOD FOR YOU!arty0011:
. People wonder sometimes why divorce rates among post-op wls people is so high- it comes down to what you just experienced. When we learn to love who we are, our 'need' for relationships that are painful and flawed disappear. You have shown in your behaviour that you are not willing to settle which was not the case just a few months ago. GOOD FOR YOU!
arty0011:
Cowgirl
Licks the lid of life!
Well done Gina, your strength and courage never fails to amaze me! you have faced one of your biggest challeges and overcome it. you should be so proud of yourself. and well done on you excellent weight loss x
Thank you very much Tam!xxxx
LancsLass2
New Member
Gina, I`d just like to say I`m not reading your threads anymore cos everytime I do I end up wet eyed and a snotty nose and my hubbys started wondering what sites I`m actually looking at lol. No, in all honesty I love how your so honest and open and I think your so brave. We touched on us having to love ourselves in a thread a while back and unfortunately I am unable to do that yet but hopefully will go on that journey soon. I`m very pleased that you have reached a love for yourself and I`m sure Mr Right will come along soon and fill in any gaps. xxx
