attended first group support meeting today

[Laura b]

hello everyone hope ur all well
well as my title says i went along to my first group support meeting today, i was very nervous and a little bit worried goin by myself but thought no this is part of my wl journey so just go for it, i must say i really really enjoyed it had guest speaker dr theirie who is who ive been refered to which is nice, and i have seen him b4 so he may of remembered me?
well i met some very nice, wonderful and deserving ppl, some that have had surgery and look fab and some that like me are still waiting.
the only thing that i just didnt get was there was a few indiviuals that have had the surgery and dont seem very grateful, and understanding of how lucky they really are and what a great start theyve got to start living there lifes again. is this me sounding mean? im sure these women thought that wen they had surgery the week after they would be in a bikini i dont think they realised they had to work hard as dr theirie said its like being handed a porche its great but u gotta know how to drive it otherwise ur crash and this is so true, but these women must not of understood that?? well when we was having a coffee one of them sat there and ate 3-4 packs of biscuits with 3 biscuits in each, and this is post op??? no wonder she aint lost much, biscuits was there for everyone! as a pre op i could of ate them all but i didnt even have one bcus thats not the person i want to be i dont want to be big and greedy (although i am) i went there for support in going on this wl journey i want the surgery i want to do well, i know how to drive i just need the porshe!! i just thought they was very ungrateful, and kept referring to thin ppl as twiggys well not being funny im sure if someone had refered to them as fattys they wouldnt like it! i seem like im being so mean but i know theres ppl out there wanting surgery needing surgery bcus they r ill, and with the nhs being in crisis as it is its not fair that ppl that aint really bothered they still wanna be greedy and eat lots and expect to still lose gets the surgery it just dont seem right to me!! o well rant over
and ang if u read this was lovely seeing u today uv done so so well ur an inspiration and i know ur journeys not been an easy one but like u say its been worth it and u look fab thanks for the invite to the group and i will be attending again (hope ive not offended u by writing this its just how i felt) xxxxx

 

[Bev]

Hi Laura,

I'm glad that you went to the support group, whatever the experience... I always say it's learning.... it helps.

Hope everything else is ok with you, I have been looking out for you, unless I've missed you.

Catch up soon hopefully,

Love and hugs xxx

 

[Laura b]

hi bev
great profile pic u look fab very very beautiful xxxx
iv not been on for a while, been busy with the children hard work with a 6 yr old and a 4 month old lol
it was a great experience just a few ppl although they seemed lovely ppl they was speaking about wls as if it was nothing just upset me a bit especially when i would do anything for some help to get me on the road too wl xxx

 

[Bev]

Awww Laura,

It's hard when people use inappropriate references at meetings and I know, it hurts...

Wish you were nearer to me... we could work on it all together... but maybe we can on here...

That pic was taken before I fell ill, I have avoided having my photo taken for a while after chemotherapy... but never mind, I have to keep moving forward.

Keep in touch, if I can do anything, pre op, I am with you and if you need me, just send a message...

Loving hugs to and yours... so good to hear from you love xxx

 

[phatmomma]

Laura i know exactly what you mean. I had a friend who got banded at Heartlands, she was eating McD's within months! She didn't follow the pre op at all!

As for those who sat there eating biscuits, i used to feel that people shouldn't have biscuits or things post op but i was pre op at the time. Since i've had surgery i've got a little bit more understanding. I don't think a biscuit or even two hurts once in a while when sat being sociable with others. I'd think it was wrong if someone was having biscuits instead of eating a meal or if it happened all the time..... Sitting eating all those biscuits was wrong especially at the venue you were at and as you say so many people would bite of someone's hand to get it. However, be aware that post op you may just have one biscuit with your cup of tea and be okay

Glad you enjoyed the seminar, i'm 100% sure you are going to give your wls your best effort and will look absolutely gorgeous when you reach your final destination xx

 

[Laura b]

Awww Laura,

It's hard when people use inappropriate references at meetings and I know, it hurts...

Wish you were nearer to me... we could work on it all together... but maybe we can on here...

That pic was taken before I fell ill, I have avoided having my photo taken for a while after chemotherapy... but never mind, I have to keep moving forward.

Keep in touch, if I can do anything, pre op, I am with you and if you need me, just send a message...

Loving hugs to and yours... so good to hear from you love xxx

bev im sure u still look beautiful xxxx :553:

 

[Laura b]

Laura i know exactly what you mean. I had a friend who got banded at Heartlands, she was eating McD's within months! She didn't follow the pre op at all!

As for those who sat there eating biscuits, i used to feel that people shouldn't have biscuits or things post op but i was pre op at the time. Since i've had surgery i've got a little bit more understanding. I don't think a biscuit or even two hurts once in a while when sat being sociable with others. I'd think it was wrong if someone was having biscuits instead of eating a meal or if it happened all the time..... Sitting eating all those biscuits was wrong especially at the venue you were at and as you say so many people would bite of someone's hand to get it. However, be aware that post op you may just have one biscuit with your cup of tea and be okay

Glad you enjoyed the seminar, i'm 100% sure you are going to give your wls your best effort and will look absolutely gorgeous when you reach your final destination xx

thanks so much for ur reply i thought i was being mean but im pleased u understand where im coming from.
as for the biscuit situation, i love biscuits i could of sat there and ate the whole box but i didnt have any cus i didnt feel it was appropriate putting into concideration of where we was ok one or two thats fine but that lady had at least 3 pks and im sure there was 3 in each one so thats 9 fine if u wanna stay the size u r but come on why would u have wls to carry on as u was b4 surely u need to understand ur relationship with food b4 u decide on the surgery or if not then u try to get help with ur relationship with food its an addiction just like drugs and smoking although we can live without drugs and smoking we carnt with food this is something we all need and im sure at times its hard wen u aint able to eat how u ate pre op but i jst thought that individual was a bit naughty eating them like she didnt care and that she didnt care that she had been given a gift alot of us can only dream of at the moment!!
thanks again for ur message hope u r well love to u xxxxx

 

[Grace]

Hi Laura, glad you enjoyed the support meeting. I hear what you're saying about the biscuits. Just a thought: some people eat biscuits without even realising they're doing it? It becomes so habitual.
I've lost count of the number of diets I've wrecked by just 'forgetting' what I should be eating!

Now post bypass, almost all the time (99%) I'm thinking what I should be eating. But it's early days. I hope I will continue to make the changes so that healthy eating becomes a habit and a lifestyle.

It takes some doing though; more for some than others. And though I fully agree with you re; some people needing help to examine and bring into control their reasons for eating/food addiction:
1) is the help necessarily available?
and
2) given what we know about the long and precarious road to surgery, would you admit to needing that help, if you thought it would delay or even completely scupper your chances of getting the surgery ?

Personally, I think a mandatory healthy eating/psychological programme pre-op, WHILST people are on the waiting list, would be a great idea and money well spent by the NHS.

I do get what you mean though. I'm eternally grateful for this gift I've been given and I intend to make the most of it.

 

[bubblyangie]

Hi Laura,

First of all it was great to meet you and put a face to a name.....

I am glad you felt welcomed at group and I am NOT offended in any way in face I welcome constructive cristism.... I have had a number of issues with this group (sat one @ Solihull) It has been renowned for being very negative, and filled with negative "This op didn't work for me folk!" if you know what I mean, when I first starting going there were a lot of people just wingeing and moaning, one of which was there yesterday, the one eating all the biscuits..... I am trying to keep people positive and focused and moving forward on their Journey's as we can all have bad experieinces or struggles but what good is it dwelling on them, we won't reach our goals, by looking back and wingeing, but making positive changes and moving forward is the only way and I think together is more fun and supportive.
I think really it re-iterates what Dr Taheri said yesterday about making sure that the RIGHT people are given the opportunity for this surgery and that is why they get you to jump through all of the hoops that they do, they want to makesure you are ready to do whatever it takes to make this work, and in the past like he said surgeons just did the operations without these initial assessments etc and now they are having to pick up the pieces of the ones that pure and simply weren't ready..... I beleive that there area couple of folk in the room yesterday who are still of the mentality that they want the bypass for a quick fix, and aren't ready yet, I am trying to work with these to prepare them but it is hard to change folks mindsets...
A lot of Key folk were not there yesterday, very encouraging and positive people, soo dont be put off, there are lots of other successful people around for support.

Feel free to be give me feed back, we just need to be careful of not naming folk, but if you have anything you really need to express please get in touch.

Hugs
Angie x

 

[Laura b]

Hi Laura,

First of all it was great to meet you and put a face to a name.....

I am glad you felt welcomed at group and I am NOT offended in any way in face I welcome constructive cristism.... I have had a number of issues with this group (sat one @ Solihull) It has been renowned for being very negative, and filled with negative "This op didn't work for me folk!" if you know what I mean, when I first starting going there were a lot of people just wingeing and moaning, one of which was there yesterday, the one eating all the biscuits..... I am trying to keep people positive and focused and moving forward on their Journey's as we can all have bad experieinces or struggles but what good is it dwelling on them, we won't reach our goals, by looking back and wingeing, but making positive changes and moving forward is the only way and I think together is more fun and supportive.
I think really it re-iterates what Dr Taheri said yesterday about making sure that the RIGHT people are given the opportunity for this surgery and that is why they get you to jump through all of the hoops that they do, they want to makesure you are ready to do whatever it takes to make this work, and in the past like he said surgeons just did the operations without these initial assessments etc and now they are having to pick up the pieces of the ones that pure and simply weren't ready..... I beleive that there area couple of folk in the room yesterday who are still of the mentality that they want the bypass for a quick fix, and aren't ready yet, I am trying to work with these to prepare them but it is hard to change folks mindsets...
A lot of Key folk were not there yesterday, very encouraging and positive people, soo dont be put off, there are lots of other successful people around for support.

Feel free to be give me feed back, we just need to be careful of not naming folk, but if you have anything you really need to express please get in touch.

Hugs
Angie x

thanks s much ang and im so pleased i didnt offend u bcus thats not what i wanted to do, i really thought the women eating the biscuits and the one next to her was very very negative and some of the questions/arguements they put across to dr theirie was not nice i felt a bit embarresed by what they was saying especially about the exercise that they would prefer to watch tv!!!! wouldnt we all some times prefer to sit down and do nothing but its about helping urself and wanting to change the way u have become, i did attend a gym and i hated hated hated getting ready to go but when i was there i loved it and hope to get bk there once im at a size i know i can manage the gym at, but for now im walking more and iv took on board all dr theiri has said and iv started a diary of how i feel about foods ive eaten and how i feel from day to day, im going to take this with me to show him what changes iv made!!!
these women have been given a real chance to do something about there weight and all i heard was negativity and critism towards wls or the areas that surround wls, dr theiri is a proffesional so he must know something so i took on board every thing he said.
im so please i attended its made me realise that ok its gonna be a long journey but its gonna be worth it in the end with or without surgery i will lose this weight and it will stay off but without surgery its gonna be much harder so i hope he agrees im a deserving person to concider
i will be back ive really enjoyed meeting so many people especially urself and julie who sat next to me so i will be back maybe not to everyone as my oh works weekends so only when iv got someone to watch the kiddies
see u soon xxxx