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BandedHuns Mad Fat Diary

Ive had a few meals. Ate a starter, half a main and no pud just coffee. No one says a bean! All too drunk. Only once turkey got stuck and i had to chuck in the loos, but im good at disguising it.
 
Well I hate to break up the party spirt but I'm beat and so over xmas. I was so excited for it this year now I'm just depressed stressed and so unwell. It's completely ruined what I planned to be a great xmas . I've had enough. I'm snapping at my family. I'm completely unable to eat and this virus I have is ruining me completely.

:-( :-(
 
Banded. Treat yourself as the precious thing you are over the next few days my love. Christmas is only another day. Fuel yourself with easy nutritious soups and yoghurt which should slip down ok. Take your multi vits. Juice some super foods and you could turn around for Xmas day ((((huggs))))

Not like you to be so low. Tomorrow could be so different xxxx
 
Kirsty I don't think I've ever been this low in a long time . The old job issues .... The new ones and the insecurities it's caused in my relationship. The illness and the fact no food will go down at all as my throats so swollen. I got in to bed at 2am .... I was up and on the sofa by 4:30 and up and about at 5am . Argued with my sister and now currently in a domestic with OH .... Quite frankly xmas is a mess and I feel so low I've never thought about SH but right now I just feel so lost all over again. I got to be at work in 2 hours time and im just running on rage and a messy head.
I never thought I'd say I'm worried about myself right now..... :-(

Thanks for asking. I hate saying all this negative stuff ESP when I planned for this xmas to be the best ever , look the best. Well frankly I'd give anything to feel better and xmas be over.....

Happy xmas darlin .... Hope your having an amazing time.bxxxx
 
It's only another day!

We put so much pressure on ourselves.

Get through it. Get nutrition in some how. Protein shakes and soups if need be. That's the most important thing. You will feel like **** if your running on empty. So start fueling up right now

If you need help honey get it now!

You can't get this special time with your little un back...try to find some joy in it.

You have done so well. You have been an inspiration on here. I am so sorry you are struggling - not judging in any way but reading about your crazy scedule has made me concerned for you.

Treat yourself with love and gentleness. Stop and consider what you need to get yourself back to a good place.

Take care my lovely girl xxxxx
 
Banded sweetness i want to fling my arms around you hunni and give you the biggest of hugs......... please don't allow all this 'stuff' to throw you off balance at such a wonderful time of the year. I think personally your need to stop and take stock here, before you frankly make yourself ill mrs...... you have been hoovering over that self destruct button for awhile now, what with such a hectic schedule and all the pressure this new job and all the crap from the old one, especially as you have built it up to be such a good Christmas its no wonder you have had so far to fall. Kirsty is right it is just another day, it will come and go and be forgotten in a week or so .... tr and be gentle with yourself and try and get some rest...... get the best possible fuel inside you cant possible continue this way.

Huge hugs sweetness x x x x x x x
 
Take care Banded. Everyone is right, Christmas is a day, 2 days at tops. You have a lovely daughter who all she'll want is Mum. All the trimmings mean nothing.
 
What everyone else said & have a lovely day with your daughter tomorrow. Santas already brought u ur prezzie of your new skinny body, if your feeling low just have a look in the mirror & remember how much you've achieved this year. Merry Christmas x
 
Merry Xmas everyone....

Well... The chest infection worsen and my band felt like I was being strangled ... The phelm was grosse and IT made me sick all night... BUT and its a huge BUT I had a lovely day off with people I love just spending time with them ... And no worries. I was just gutted I couldn't enjoy a meal at all , my cheese board, my copious amounts of chocolate and sweets... :-( that's what I love about xmas ....

At present I'm trying to very slowly to eat a bacon sandwich but it's not looking good. Two tiny bites and I'm exhausted and full feeling. The weight has stayed the same no movement despite eating very very little ... So that's s good thing. 9st 11lb is tiny for me.

I but my Chavy xmas jumper on and make up and I still felt like my head was gonna snap off ... This chest infection and cold virus this year is lethal - ESP with a band. I'm really tempted on the 15th January to have a complete defill and start again just so everything settles down again ... Or hoping by that date I might have gotten rid of this virus - infection and be able to eat my normal mortals dog food and feel better... Let's hope for the latter!

I got a beautiful Louis Vuitton clutch for xmas and some lindor choc alters , a game called shut the box and a personalised iPhone 5s case with me and my dog Ted ( who passed suddenly this summer a day after moving home) on it... We are kissing in the snow and I just burst into tears when I saw it .... Best present by far ....

So that was xmas day ...

Back to work and a busy weekend before monday a full day off !!!! Sales?!?! Hell yeh!

Love to you all and hope you have had a good one ....



image-2379495005.jpg

Me the OH daugther and Popsi'
 
Thanks ladies but my face and throat are SO swollen. The first day of put make up on ... Think if there was a close up u would have really seen the swelling in my eyes and bags etc....

Off to bed now as I have to attend SW tomorrow as I haven't been and only got a shirt early shift tomorrow - thank goodness !!!

Night everyone. I'll try catch up tomorrow night in everyone's blogs xxxx
 
Just realised you are thinking of a complete defill!!!

Would it not make sense to work backwards? Get them to take out a ml at a time. A ml could make a huge difference. Xx
 
Yes I just think with the chest infection it's really sent the band crazy I literally can't stomach a thing. But then my appetites tiny too.... So not feeling well hasn't helped at all . Today u finally started feeling better. Think the shorter hours and earlier finishes helped massively. I've Monday off too so I'm thinking get up and get in those sales!!! I want a sparkly dress for new year to wear! Xxx
 
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