caring for autistic so post op

[kay milburn]

goind into hospital 2 weeks today for my bypass surgery. just about got my head round it. starting to worry if i will be able to take proper care of my autistic son,post op i am married but am the primary carer as my son wont let anybody else do anything for him . would appriciate any advice on this.

 

[phatmomma]

I'm sorry Kay i have no experience of autism but do know ALL kids can be trying at times, especially when they know we're not at our full Ninja Warrior best...

Wishing you well in your recovery and hoping it's not too hard on you or your son during this period. xx

 

[jaffa_cake]

Hi Kay, I know autistic children need routine so maybe get the person who will be looking after him for you to spend some time with him (alot) before you go in to have your op. Do they offer you restbite in your area? check with your local social services as they hopefully should be able to help you if you explain the situation, you will need alot of rest after your op and dealing with an autistic child is not easy. I'm sorry I cant be of more help, I hope you get something sorted x x x

 

[Neen]

Are you able to get a social story done for him? Do the school have the software to make him one to help explain that Mum can't do much for a few days til she's better? My two are autistic and we had social stories about hospital and operations. Also my OH took time off work and we made sure we explained daily about things being slightly different. It might help to mark the different days on a calendar so he can visually understand when this is happening and how long for and basically understand the "rules" of Mummy's recovery days.
It is hard to explain but keep it simple and explain why and what will be different each day and he should be allright. xxx I would get it sorted soon though as he is going to need as much notice as possible and plenty of reassurance that it is not going to be for long. You could make a little badge to wear to indicate to him you are feeling poorly..then that's also a visual reminder that Mum is not quite well yet as Autistic kids have a hard time reading non spoken communication as you know x Anything I can do please ask away x


ps. Just wanted to let you know there is a thread about living with Autism on here and there are a few of us members with Autistic kids , hopefully it will be of interest to you and help a bit as well. All kids have their moments of course, but as we know kids with ASD/Autism are a WHOLE different ball game all together and people who don't know much about the condition have no clue how much life has to be compromised to just get from day to day.

Here's the thread
http://www.wlsurgery.com/chit-chat-socialise-forums/127329-living-autism-asd.html
And a hug!! xxxxxx You'll be OK x

 

[kay milburn]

thanks so much. i have explained to him mam is going into hospital and he has to help get me better, he says he will but as you know what he says and what he does is very different. i have the op the day the kids break up from school{ i know great timing}. he is going to summer school for the first 3 weeks and ive managed to drag one of my friends in to give us a lift, which is great. i am assuming after you get out of hospital you are well enough to potter about, or am i being totally naieve.

 

[Neen]

All being well you are encouraged to potter about when you get home anyway as it really helps with the wind pain. If he's off to Summer School (how awesome btw) then I should think by the time he comes back (depending on when your op is in relation to that) you will be feeling well enough to cope with quite a lot..Obviously still taking it somewhat easier and no heavy lifting etc to be on the safe side.
I think the badge idea might be worth a try as he has an instant visual reminder as soon as he sees you which will help him remember whats going on. x
Also maybe get him making a chart with you to mark down how you are both feeling each day and how much you can eat/drink etc. My two love writing stuff down etc get some smiley stickers and that kind of thing and maybe work to a reward for him being your good helper.

 

[kay milburn]

thanks for the great ideas. he doesnt go away to summer school its from 9 in the morning to 3 in the afternoon. but unlike school were he gets a taxi i have to take him in. hoping ill be ok to get him ready and get him there. i get out of hospital on the sunday and he starts on the tuesday. i am definatley going to ring school tomorrow and ask them about the social story.

 

[Neen]

I think you should also get someone to help you with the to and from school trips or at least go with you then , perhaps OH can do that for you or take you both? Really just to be on the safe side hun. Get it all arranged now and then you are covered if you feel extra rough or anything as we know that life can be a bit mad most of the time! The social story is a brill idea and will hopefully help a lot. x

 

[kay milburn]

cheers hun..xx.

 

[moonflower]

My son was a bit wobbly when i went in but was ok once i was out. He wouldnt speak to me as i sounded different but was ok once home but kept asking for reassurance to make sure was not going back in hospital again.
I did a little social story, did his daily timetable to show his school day was the same.
He also has ADHD and ODD so was a bit hyper for hubby but that was mainly due to his routine change more than anything.
I was very surprised at how well he took it and coped
He even helped with his baby sister as i asked him to help his daddy look after her as "daddy wasnt very good" which worked very well too.
He has high functioning/aspergers so that maybe why.
Hope it all goes well whatever you decide to do.
He needs lots of info so i showed him lots on the net edited of course and a little video of the op found one that wasnt gory. He is 7yrs old

Ali
xx