Confidence

[paulineiw]

Does anyone have the same problem as me?
I have lost nearly 5 stones and deep down I know I look better for it.
However, my lack of confidence is still there, in my mind I am still the fat one that hides in the corner hoping noone sees me!!
Will the confidence come back or do I need some counselling?
It is hard after being so self conscious for years to suddenly being an acceptable size and not have the fear of being ridiculed or laughed at when going out socially.
Is it normal to feel like this?

 

[LiL_PSyChO]

Yes I think it is.. I've lost 12 stone and am less confident now than I was pre-op.. it's very weird isn't it? You think that when you lose all that weight you're going to look and feel fabulous but although people tell me I look great, I still see the 'fat' me in the mirror.

I think it takes quite a while for the head to catch up with the body

 

[candie]

I've lsot 4.5 stone, and still see the same fat me in the mirror, but my mates keep saying how much thinner I look so I know it must be true lol

 

[LizzieBee]

I've lsot 4.5 stone, and still see the same fat me in the mirror, but my mates keep saying how much thinner I look so I know it must be true lol

It is true, Sal! You look much slimmer and even more fabulous!

I have lost 6 stone and had a weird wobble (not the flabby kind for a change). I have been asked out and have said no, because I don't feel like me. I don't want to have to eat in front of him because that will mean telling about the op or him thinking that I have issues about eating in public and it seems very personal. This is a strange feeling because I have told absolutely all of my friends and quite a few people I barely know as I am an open book - usually. I don't quite know where my confidence has gone, but it has told that I am not ready for dating - yet! I think it is that I feel in 'no man's land' and don't quite know how I feel about me at the moment as these changes are so rapid.

Lx

 

[wildthing]

Yes I know how you feel Lizziebee, not that I've been asked out yet but if I do I don't know how to get out of telling them as its the eating thing and explaining the scars...

 

[candie]

It is true, Sal! You look much slimmer and even more fabulous!

I have lost 6 stone and had a weird wobble (not the flabby kind for a change). I have been asked out and have said no, because I don't feel like me. I don't want to have to eat in front of him because that will mean telling about the op or him thinking that I have issues about eating in public and it seems very personal. This is a strange feeling because I have told absolutely all of my friends and quite a few people I barely know as I am an open book - usually. I don't quite know where my confidence has gone, but it has told that I am not ready for dating - yet! I think it is that I feel in 'no man's land' and don't quite know how I feel about me at the moment as these changes are so rapid.

Lx

OOh lizzie, ring me and tell me all the goss.Who is it?!!!!

 

[LizzieBee]

Yes I know how you feel Lizziebee, not that I've been asked out yet but if I do I don't know how to get out of telling them as its the eating thing and explaining the scars...

Have been thinking about this one, Wildthing, and I think it is because the fat me will be part of my past and a man will be part of my future. I haven't worked out how to blend the two. What do you think?

OOh lizzie, ring me and tell me all the goss.Who is it?!!!!

You always get the goss!

Lx

 

[Mazza]

Hi pauline

Do you know what pre op I was in denial, it hit me like a brick wall everytime i saw a picture of my former much larger self!

You have done so well and maybe your head does need to catch up but it will, you have a good look at yourself in the mirror and check out all the the bits you can see the loss! The plus side is that there is more to follow, when your head does catch up you will see it.


Maz x

 

[candie]

:8855:

Have been thinking about this one, Wildthing, and I think it is because the fat me will be part of my past and a man will be part of my future. I haven't worked out how to blend the two. What do you think?



You always get the goss!

Lx

yea I feel the same, mind you my on and off ex hadn't even noticed i'd lost weight

 

[hopelesscase]

Its taken me 12 months to really see what other people see and that really hit home after gails party last week and seeing the photos. Confidence wise i always thought i was a confident person but realised this weekend that i do actually have more confidence since my surgery as if that was possiable. lol. I was in a pub singing along to a band that was on on friday night when my friends son said do you want a dance. There was no one else dancing and in the past i would of laughed said how sweet but no thanks. On friday i said if yr up for it then lets go. now fat me would of never of done that but there was no stopping the new me.
i dont think i will ever like what i see undressed but no one else sees that and if i do meet someone hopefully they will like me for me and not whats covered by my clothes.
hth
carole

 

[paulineiw]

Thanks. At least I know that the way I feel is not unique, I hate looking at myself naked, my stomach is gross, I have started swimming but I think I look worse now than I did before!
JUST BETTER MAKE SURE I KEEP COVERED UP!! LOL!!
I look quite good with clothes on!

I have a serious camera phobia and have not had my photo taken in over 10 years, my 88 yr old father is desperate to have a photo of me, maybe I will pluck up courage for Xmas!!
Thanks again for all your support, Pauline

 

[quetiapina]

I agree that yr head takes time to catch up with the weightloss, I still look at plastic chairs with suspicion and measure up the space when walking through a crowded restaurant or bus etc. to make sure I have enough room to get through. x

 

[Caroline101061]

Its perfectly normal to feel like this - Im having nightmares that its all been a dream and I wake up to find myself still 24 and a half stone. I cant get my head around the fact Ive lost 8 stone and if I think about it too long, it make me feel totally peculiar and a bit hysterical. Ive just started seeing it in the mirror now. My naked body is a disaster but so what - the weight is gone and thats all that matters - 5 stone to go!