Decision Made ....

[yorkiegal]

I just wanted to comment on what you said about nhs staff who are anti obesity surgery. I've met a few of them on my journey too. Nurses who act like you're taking up their valuable time and you should be able to just eat less and exercise more. I really hope I don't run into any of them next week on the ward when I'm not only just grumpy from the pain but also extremely pre-menstrual lol.

 

[Undecided]

Hi Yorkie

It's even worse when they are the doctors who are meant to be answering your questions / doing tests on you, but can't wait to get you out of the room and spend the whole time looking at you in a disgusted fashion. Or are just patrosnising.That was my experience of one or two of them. One in particular. .

I started crying at one point yesterday. And he just sighed and looked annoyed (not Mr Shroeder, he wasn't there at the time).

The nurse was lovely. She was the same one who couldnt get any blood samples out of me (I was a bit of a wreck by the end of it all lol). She gave me a tissue.

 

[goofy07]

It must have been a really hard decision to make after going through all of the processes. At the end of the day it has to be right for you and your circumstances.

I too am at SRH and have my first dietician appt soon. I think some of the points you have made are very relevant and although they try to assure you about everyone is working there because they want to I think that the odd ones who slip in can really make a huge difference to your experience.

I have also met Mr Schroeder once at my seminar and to be honest although he gave good information I felt that he was slightly arrogant and just wanted to stress how overworked they were but there again it could just his nature. I am giving him the benefit of the doubt and hopefully he is not as bad as that.

As for how much notice you get personally for me 10 days is not enough just thinking about my work and organising my relief staff to cover for me while off as well as my husband organising his time home/absence as he works away from home.

thank you for your post as it has brought up many social/health questions for me to raise

Good Luck with your future and you never know you might be able to lose some weight without WLS. xx

 

[The Chopster]

I think it's braver to cancel the op if you are not sure than to blindly go through with it and regret it afterwards.

 

[Undecided]

Hi Goofy

The bariatric team themselves all seem pretty friendly.

The problem I had was that almost none of the appointments were WITH the bariatric team . For some reason there tended to be a lot of filling in with other doctors. One of the most important meetings for me was the one where they recommended the bypass not the band.

This meeting was with someone not connected to the team (I dont know why - understaffed maybe).

I would research all wls options, as they may offer you one you didnt request.

And yes, just be aware that it seems that they do seem to offer last minute surgery dates there. Just dont do what I did and panic and say ok. I didnt know what to do to be honest. It wasn't what I was expecting them to say, and I didnt know what would happen if I said it was a bit short notice.

 

[Undecided]

That was the first time I had met Mr Schroeder. It could be more just a cultural thing that he came across that way ? He seemed ok to me from what I saw. Hard to tell though in the short times you see people for. My only complaint was that after giving me such short notice, he then made me choose 10 days, or 1 year. It did seem a little cruel.

I'm not going to dwell on it though. Maybe it was for the best. I've waited a long time. Another year won't hurt I guess. I'm going to call it "fate".

 

[sydenham]

Thanks Wendy / Debbie etc. I did get to speak to the surgeon yesterday. I asked if I could see him. Some of his answers worried me just a little. And I didnt have the option to put it back a bit. I've accepted that now and I feel ok with my decision at the moment.

Yes shopgirl you are right. People do seem to forget what an enormous decision it is. Especially if they've already had it done and had no problems. Your life is never the same again, and you don't know EXACTLY how everything will turn out.

There are some scarey stories on the net of things that can / have gone wrong. Obviously I'm not trying to scare anyone, and the odds of having big problems are small, but I think you do still need to be aware of as much information as you can.

Sometimes some of the info isn't around when you first start your research. It can't be helped if you find it near to the surgery date.

I do regret how things have gone for me. I'll probably regret it even more in a years time when I've maybe gained even more weight. But I don't know what the future holds. I can only make decidions on the info I have now, and how I feel right now.

In the meantime I've lost 6lb this last week. I'll keep on going with it and see what happens and how long it lasts.

Hi Undecided,

I have seen most of your posts since you joined the forum and what I could grasp from the questions that you were asking, is that somewhere along the way you were sadly lacking in knowledge, guidance and support. To be honest I am not sure how this happened in your case but I will say that I funded my own surgery but only met the surgeon once before my Op. But for at least a year before that I was researching like mad. When a date had been set I got all the other information I needed both pre op and post op. But I am no different to anyone else and we all know that every surgery including having your tonsils out can come with great risk. Right up to the minute you are lifting yourself up onto the operating table, you are petrified that you might be doing the wrong thing.
BUT: when its something that you REALLY want and you know that you don't have an alternative, you climb up on that table and pray that you will wake up again.
This cant be your time or you would have found the right answers to your own arguments and would have gone ahead with surgery as planned.
Only you know if your time will ever come.......but I wish you luck for the future.

 

[goofy07]

H Undecided

Maybe they are short staffed as when I was there in Jan they said that Mr Small and Mr Balpuri where going on secondment with the Navy for six months

I must admit I have always wanted a bypass and will be gutted if they offer something else the same as you were when they said you couldn't have the band.
good luck

 

[Undecided]

Hi sydenham

Thats why I knew it wasn't right. I knew I had no alternative, but always had some slight doubts.

Even though I know I HAD / HAVE to do it, the risks at the moment still seem too great. I know that when I dont care what the risks are, that is when I am ready.

There are other elements that I dont want to go into on a public forum. In some ways lots of timings were just very unfortunate aswell. Along with other things I've mentioned before.

Funded or not, I still think it's wrong that you don't meet the surgeon till the day of / day before the op. I dont think it happens anywhere else.

If someone is going to be cutting me up and re-arranging my internal organs, I want to at least know what the guy looks like. Every internet site tells you to ask "your surgeon" questions. It's obviously not really viable to be doing that the night before the op.

You can research until the cows come home (my mam's expression), but there are some things you won't know unless he tells you himself.

 

[christine77]

did you never thinks of emailing any questions you had to his secretary, she would have got answers for you - as she did in my case.

i dont believe you - and i may be shot down by others for saying this, have been given any worse service than any of the others of us under sunderland. we have all had the same appointments and the same time to ask the questions, how you use that time is completely up to the individual. in the first appointment options are discussed it is up to you then to research and with your surgeons help decided on your second appointment which is best for you - this is the time most of us have our questions ready, and anything in between you can contact the secretarys for help.

i am glad you have made the right decision for, i just worry in a years time you will stay have the major panic about the addiction transfer and there will be no further research to help you.

did you attend any of the support meetings during your journey so far- many people find them a great help and a great source of information.

good luck in the year to come

 

[Undecided]

Hi christine77

I didn't complain about Sunderland. I simply offered some suggestions on improvements that could be made to the process.

I also at no point said that my treatment had been any different to anyone else's. For all I know it was exactly the same. It might be normal to never meet a doctor or surgeon from the bariatric team until the day before the op. I can only comment on my own circumstances, and how I felt about them. Either way it doesnt matter now.

I'm not sure when I would have mailed his secretary ? I wouldnt have wanted to start bothering every surgeon's secretary in the hope of guessing the right one ?

The thread was started just as an information post.

I'm not going to comment further on the thread, simply because I've already answered the other questions you've asked / points you've raised in this thread and others, and it wasn't the intention of the post for everyone to jump in and judge what I did / didnt do or said / didnt say.

 

[christine77]

people aren't judging you the way you think, many are just trying to offer advice so that in a years time - or sooner hopefully you can go into the op with your questions answered and a more positive attitude knowing and accepting you are doing the right thing.

 

[phatmomma]

And i say again i met my surgeon on the day of surgery. I know others who never saw my surgeon when he did their ops.

At the end of the day WE ALL have a duty to investigate and research any proceedures we are considering.

And for the record i personally never once remember having second thoughts, if i wasnt so fat i'd have skipped to theatre.

Gd luck Undecided and i repeat a previous comment ''spend the next months researching and finding out all you can'' xx

 

[kurvykaren]

Hi Undecided

I met my surgeon on the day of my (original) op but did meet with one of the team of doctors beforehand and had a comprehensive meeting where I was asked lots of questions and was given the time to ask anything I wanted (I went in armed with a list as I'd been looking up lots on the net lol!). Thats probably why appointments with the bariatric team always run late at my (Homerton) hospital, because we are given the chance to ask anything we want and not rushed out the door. (Even though everyone sits in the waiting area moaning that they are late).

It's a shame you didn't get the support and advice you needed from your team. It is a lifechanging major operation and not something anyone would/should enter into lightly. If anyone has any doubts, right up to the time they put you out, you have the right to say no.

Its your body, your life and your decision if you want to go ahead or not.

I hope you manage to get all the info you need over the next few months to help you make an informed decision on where you go from here. I do think, as others have also suggested, that you should speak to PALS.

Take care, and good luck whatever you decide. xx