Did Your Weight Hold You Back

[Snowcrystal]

I'm a travel agent and I love my job.

I have done other things in my life and have studied certain fields too but when I look back over my life I know my weight (when it was high) held me back.

There is so many other avenues where my job could take me but I won't try because of my weight.

I could go on educational's (when offered) and visit far flung places...but my weight holds me back.

I've ran companies before and been a manager before, but now I lack the confidence to do that again...If I don't feel good about myself my self esteem goes on a separate flight from the one I'm on.

How does or did it affect you?

~X~

 

[farzu]

I know how you feel. Its very difficult to move freely when you are over weight. Also as you said the self-confidence gets lower day by day. I don't work at the moment. I am scared to even go out. i feel people stares at me and passes stupid commands.
I don't even feel to go to any interview for job, i feel people will reject me because i'm over weight.

There are so many problems that holds me back and its impossible to make others understand how i feel.

 

[markelsie]

I feel the world and his dog is looking at me as I'm overweight and in my personal life have always made limp excuses why I wont dance at functions all of which are a lie as it's my "weight" and so have missed out...I have determination when I need it most at work to get through presentations etc,but just feel now like a slow old car running on the wrong fuel and cant get motivated for much..

Regards

Mark

 

[mermaid2708]

my god, my weight held me back in so many areas. i lacked confidence in all situations, even with good friends and family aswell as at work and going out socially...this is now getting better. i would never feel worthy or nice enough to expect good treatment so would never complain. i was definatly a 'yes' girl...trying to please everyone instead of myself. i am no where near goal weight but i have been out on the town several times now and dont think everyone is looking at me...i walk places without feeling a freak, my confidence in all situations is growing and i went for promotion at work and got it...so things are looking up!x

 

[Caroline101061]

Im a PA of many years standing - extremely good at my job - qualifications coming out of my eyeballs, excellent CV etc - was made redundant in '01 and then guess what - got loads of second interviews but no job offers - I asked a HR person who told me bluntly it was because of my size. Go figure.

 

[markelsie]

I know exactly what you mean as we always try to please OTHERS as we dont feel "good-enough" due to the weight issue when around other people as for me anyway I feel as I'm in the spotlight due to my weight etc...

Mark

 

[Snowcrystal]

Im a PA of many years standing - extremely good at my job - qualifications coming out of my eyeballs, excellent CV etc - was made redundant in '01 and then guess what - got loads of second interviews but no job offers - I asked a HR person who told me bluntly it was because of my size. Go figure.

OMG Caroline...smacks you in the face a bit, doesn't it?...Did you appreciate the HR's honesty?...I think I would but hurt at the same time.

~X~

 

[Snowcrystal]

I get up from my desk and walk the walk of shame to collect paperwork for my customers and hope they have not thought any different of me now they can see all of me.

X~X~X

 

[Snowcrystal]

I have a very smart uniform but I hate the fact my uniform does not look good in the size I have to wear.

In fact I have 3-4 sets of uniform I have never worn because I'm too ashamed to order the bigger sizes..I get them free but I go an pay an absolute fortune and buy them elsewhere...(been lucky in that I have managed to get very similar)

~X~

 

[Caroline101061]

No I certainly didnt appreciate it - it was coupled with you may be too old (this is before the age discrimination laws came in). Three years of unsuccessful job hunting brought on a mini breakdown, more weight gain and depression. I had this op for me not for society and I will bring down anyone in a rugby tackle who says that because someone does not conform to a certain size they are not able to sit at a desk and organise someone else's life. Thats my rant for today!

 

[Snowcrystal]

No I certainly didnt appreciate it - it was coupled with you may be too old (this is before the age discrimination laws came in). Three years of unsuccessful job hunting brought on a mini breakdown, more weight gain and depression. I had this op for me not for society and I will bring down anyone in a rugby tackle who says that because someone does not conform to a certain size they are not able to sit at a desk and organise someone else's life. Thats my rant for today!

Well he or she was just plain rude........and I'm sorry you went through all you did.

~X~

 

[Red 42]

Snow, I know what you mean about the uniform..I had some provided by work but bought a couple of extra blouses myself from the same place online...I didn't dare ask for work to get me them as I am in the largest size that can be got (I blame the blouses because they're nasty polyester, have no flexibility to them and make the wearer sweat badly and thats for the slimmer girls too )

other than that though, I've always been shy of going to public swimming pools or on the beach on holidays :cry:

 

[Snowcrystal]

Hi Red

You know I would love to go swimming (even tho I can't swim properly) so much...But I won't do it...When my husband and I were in South Carolina last year I was four stone lighter, but I still would not go in the pool during the daylight hours...Luckily enough the fantastic hotel we stayed in had no problem with us using it at night...we had it to ourselves...I loved it.

~X~

 

[quetiapina]

At my biggest I would worry about going into cafes or restaurants just in case the chairs collapsed, or if I took up too much room or people would think - oh look it's a fat woman eating, god look at the state of her, how could she let herself get like that blahblah.

I didn't like walking past the jobcentre (still don't) with all the chavs outside making comments (it's on my way into town). When I was working I didn't like going into strange primary schools (I was an advisory teacher) with the teeny weeny chairs.

I don't enjoy going to gigs as much because of the way I look, and if there is no where to sit down. I hate having my photo taken with my friends ( none of them are over 5'2" and I'm 5'8 1/2 "). I feel like Hagrid from Harry Potter, without a beard.

I won't go abroad a) I can't get insurance because I have Bipolar disorder and a close b) I am scared what people abroad will make of the enormous British person. C) will the plane seat belt fit ( you have to give me 20mg of valium to get me onto one in the first place. I can't understand how aeroplanes actually fly. A bit like bumble bees really, that's another story though).

I don't like walking down the middle of train or bus as I might knock someone with my bum or thighs.
I avoid extended family (aunts uncles that kind of thing) get togethers as I know that they will talk about my weight when I'm not there in that mock concerned way which is a bit of a cover for "look at the freakshow, thankgod none of our kids look like that". (I know they do it - I've heard them talk about others in that way).

I worry about taking all the room up on people's sofas if I visit. Will I be able to reach the coffee table, if I go in their cars ( like my Ma inlaw's) will the seatbelt fit.

In conversation with people who are not in my close circle of friends, if someone says the word "fat" obesity" chunky big etc. there is a horrible pause.

Unable to go swimming ( which I love) as too exposed between changing rooms and pool. I was unable to teach my son to swim because of this anxiety. Something I really really regret (he can swim now).

Yes, being obese has definitely held me back. It didn't harm my career though. That was the bipolar.

Sorry, went on a bit. Once I started thinking about it, it all came out. Quite therapeutic actually.

 

[Snowcrystal]

Thank you Quetiapina

No it did not go on at all, in fact I heard myself as I was reading your words. I guess in some shape or form we have all been there.

For me, I feel quite the failure. I long to groom myself like I used to...When I told my husband that I miss painting my toe nails, he cried...(I was so upset) he knew exactly what I meant by that.
For me every time the weight goes on, I feel like I lose some of my femininity.

~X~

 

[I will get there one day!]

At my biggest I would worry about going into cafes or restaurants just in case the chairs collapsed, or if I took up too much room or people would think - oh look it's a fat woman eating, god look at the state of her, how could she let herself get like that blahblah.

I didn't like walking past the jobcentre (still don't) with all the chavs outside making comments (it's on my way into town). When I was working I didn't like going into strange primary schools (I was an advisory teacher) with the teeny weeny chairs.

I don't enjoy going to gigs as much because of the way I look, and if there is no where to sit down. I hate having my photo taken with my friends ( none of them are over 5'2" and I'm 5'8 1/2 "). I feel like Hagrid from Harry Potter, without a beard.

I won't go abroad a) I can't get insurance because I have Bipolar disorder and a close b) I am scared what people abroad will make of the enormous British person. C) will the plane seat belt fit ( you have to give me 20mg of valium to get me onto one in the first place. I can't understand how aeroplanes actually fly. A bit like bumble bees really, that's another story though).

I don't like walking down the middle of train or bus as I might knock someone with my bum or thighs.
I avoid extended family (aunts uncles that kind of thing) get togethers as I know that they will talk about my weight when I'm not there in that mock concerned way which is a bit of a cover for "look at the freakshow, thankgod none of our kids look like that". (I know they do it - I've heard them talk about others in that way).

I worry about taking all the room up on people's sofas if I visit. Will I be able to reach the coffee table, if I go in their cars ( like my Ma inlaw's) will the seatbelt fit.

In conversation with people who are not in my close circle of friends, if someone says the word "fat" obesity" chunky big etc. there is a horrible pause.

Unable to go swimming ( which I love) as too exposed between changing rooms and pool. I was unable to teach my son to swim because of this anxiety. Something I really really regret (he can swim now).

Yes, being obese has definitely held me back. It didn't harm my career though. That was the bipolar.

Sorry, went on a bit. Once I started thinking about it, it all came out. Quite therapeutic actually.

Fantastic post Jenni - pretty much sums up how I feel!
x

 

[quetiapina]

Thank you Quetiapina

No it did not go on at all, in fact I heard myself as I was reading your words. I guess in some shape or form we have all been there.

For me, I feel quite the failure. I long to groom myself like I used to...When I told my husband that I miss painting my toe nails, he cried...(I was so upset) he knew exactly what I meant by that.
For me every time the weight goes on, I feel like I lose some of my femininity.

~X~

God yes, my hubby bought me some nail varnish a couple of weeks ago ( don't mean to sound spoiled but the colour was VILE). It was so lovely of him and I got my nail stuff out from the cupboard it had been in and painted my nails for the first time in 18 months. I know exactly what you mean about losing femininity. It's started to come back now and my hubby's gesture gave it a boost.

 

[Snowcrystal]

God yes, my hubby bought me some nail varnish a couple of weeks ago ( don't mean to sound spoiled but the colour was VILE). It was so lovely of him and I got my nail stuff out from the cupboard it had been in and painted my nails for the first time in 18 months. I know exactly what you mean about losing femininity. It's started to come back now and my hubby's gesture gave it a boost.

That's lovely Jenni

Your husband sounds lovely too.

We get there, don't we?...takes a while but we do.

~X~

 

[Snowcrystal]

Fantastic post Jenni - pretty much sums up how I feel!
x

It was, wasn't it...I thought so too.

~X~

 

[quetiapina]

Thankyou guys, very nice of you to say lovely things. Yep my hubby is brilliant and one of the main reasons I will not fail - he gave me all of the money he had from an inheritance from his Gran to go towards the op. There is no way I will let him down ( and when I am next ill he will be responsible for making sure I don't mess up and take me to have a band de-fill if I am really really bad ( God I hope that doesn't happen again).