dilema about nurses

[fatbutnot4eva]

hello
I will be having my op soon at salford royal, well i have a massive problem, i know quite a few of the nurses, 2 in particular work in the theatre's, there are 16 theatres and one of my good friends works in the theatres that do major op's such as bands and bypasses.
what the hell do i do ?
she works 30 hrs a week, normally over 3 days.
I dont want to go public but what happens if she see's me or is infact my nurse ?
feeling gutted, only just "probed" her today to find out were she worked as she said that yesterday they had a lady in who had a band and it had corroded inside her and it smelt soo bad it was knocking all teh nurses sick.
so i then knew she worked near the band people
what do i do ?

 

[Cuppacocoa]

Hi hun, confidentiality is a huge part of her job and I imagine if she broke this rule you could have her by the goolies. And she will know that.

It may be that as she only works three days you will not come into contact with her anyway. Try not to worry too much about her and concentrate on yourself. :hug99:
Best wishes,
Cuppa xx

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

Thanks
I dont want to sound daft but I woudl hate for her and all my other "friend" to think I was a liar by not telling them then them all finding out anyway.
what it is we are a circle of mums, around 8 of us that go out for coffe etc,,,walk to school together go for school trips etc.... so not really friends but then we see each other pretty much every day and share problems so i suppose yes like friends.
I dont want them to know but then I dont want to keep secrets x

 

[gillabean]

Me too! I actually qualified with one of the nurses on the bariatric ward. I would LOVE her to care for me post-op but not in theatre and especially I don't want her to put my catheter in!!!!!

I'm going to ask before I walk down for surgery, there's always a couple of teams working so hopefully she'd be able to swop.

 

[Caroline101061]

Isnt she bound by some sort of confidentiality agreement? Look - so what if you bump into her. Your life, your body, your surgery - nothing to do with anyone bar you. She is paid to do her job - no more! Sure it will all be fine.

 

[Cuppacocoa]

I'm with you on that and know exactly how you feel, it's the same with a group of mums/friends at my children's school. I don't want to tell them either so have decided to keep it to myself for the time being and if they ask how I have lost the weight I will say eating little and exercising lots, which is totally true! If someone asks me directly have I had the op I will say yes. Therefore there is no lying involved. Of course this could all go to pot if my son announces it in the school playground!!! It's not that I'm embarrassed or ashamed in any way I just don't want the added pressure of people 'expecting' me to lose weight.

It is up to you whether you decide to tell your friends about the op or not but don't feel pressured into telling them if you don't want to or because you think your nurse friend may spill the beans. If they are good friends they will understand.

Cuppa xx

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

thanks cuppa, that is exactly what i mean, no i am not embarassed, i am more embarassed that i am so overweight.
I just dont want people who dont understand thinking that its the easy way out.
thanks xxx

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

I too wont lie if someone asks me outright.

 

[teen]

If she says anything to anyone and you find that she has broken the confidencality act you can take it further and she will loose her job. She will no the rules and she will no what will happen if she brakes them. So dont worry to much

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

I know but I know what people are like and she will tell out other freinds and probably saw dont tell anyone, and also i will know she knows so will feel that i have to make it public
arghhh why cant life be flipping simple

 

[Caroline101061]

Its as simple or as complicated as you want to make it. People will always have divided opinions about this sort of surgery. Your true friends who know you and know the struggle you have with your weight, will be supportive and back you all the way - the others, lose them along with the excess pounds - they arent worth knowing. We all choose our own paths in this life and your operation is to make you happier and healthier. Anyone who has issue with that, needs a slap in my opinion!

 

[cazbandy]

Hi there,

Firstly take a nice deep breath in, hold for five seconds and breathe out....

You are getting yourself in a pickle.

STOP!

Firstly as others have said she will have to keep what she knows to herself as she could loose her job and in the current market, she won't risk it.

Secondly, if this group of mum's are real friends and they found out in whatever way they would be supportive.

If they are not, ditch em...

And lastly, you must look after you pre-op, you need to keep calm and focused and not worry in the slightest what people think of you. You are doing this for you, to get your life back on track and to be around for those around you for longer and healthier.

Friends are precious but if they do not support your choices, then they are not friends just opinionated accquaintances.

Good luck with your pre-op and op, all will be well in the end...

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

Thank you x I did what you said and will ride it out and see what the future brings. I await my pre op date and my op date and they are probably months away so time is on my side
thanks again x

 

[mandyl]

try not to worry,ha ha coming from me. i know its not easy but your doing this for you and you only. if anything is said shell be in big trouble. give you a laugh. i started worrying about my surgeon seing me with no clothes on,now thats silly lol. xx

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

haha I worry about that too

 

[phatmomma]

Firstly your surgeon will know which staff are rostered onto his theatre on that day. As you are going down just say that you know one of the nurses (obviously name her) and mention that you do not want it to be public knowledge about your operation. I'd probably ask them to make a note in your notes about this conversation. A senior member of staff can have a quiet word with her and she'll know to keep her mouth shut. As much as confidentiality is there, people can talk about stuff without mentioning names........

Also if you are worried about people thinking you've taken an easy option why not print off Bonita's story and show them exactly what you were risking? It's no easy option xx

 

[wildthing]

I was going to say is it possible for you just to have a quiet word with the nurse in your group of friends and not the others and ask her to keep it confidential but you say you think she would say anyway.... the only other option is to ride it out and hope she doesn't happen to be on duty that day..And if she is jsut say you were a bit embarrassed about it and can she keep it to herself and say you know she will because of the confidentiality thing relating to her job. That way she'll know you know that she could get into trouble by spilling the beans...

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

thanks again, I know what you mean, she is friendlier with my friend than I am with her so i know she will tell our mutual best friend who is also overweight and I know will have teh most problem with my decision.
thanks again I will nearer the time mention it maybe at my preop then the day of my op.
xxx

 

[hopelesscase]

I remember years ago going to family planning and walking in to find my mums best friend was the nurse there im not sure which one of us was more surprised as we were catholics and i wasnt married.
She was very proffessional in her approach asked me if i was ok with her doing my smear and treated me with the care and respect she would any other patient. Before i left it was her that pointed out to me that she was bound by patient confidentiality and she wouldnt be saying anything to my mum just in case i was worried that she would.
In fact it was the best thing that happened because it gave me the opportunity to talk to my mum by saying oh i saw jean in clinic today.
Like otheres have said se would be very silly to say anything to anyone should she be yr nurse or even see you at he hospital.
hc

 

[thinkbethin]

Would it really be worth her losing her job and livelyhood for a little gossip??? Don't worry about it, she may not even be there on your op datexxx