Do gastric by passers feel guilty?

[rybens]

Im just going through all the tests and meetings at the moment to anable me to have a bypass , iv been on diets forever and need to put a stop to any more weight gain , as dont want to cause problems with my health. My problem is im finding it hard that iv got to this point and feel really guilty that i just didnt have the strenth and will power to do it for me and my family the old traditional way of just dieting . Just wondered if any one had felt this way :sigh:

 

[Brunetteandred]

Why should a bypasser feel guilty? Not having a go here by the way, just trying to understand the context.

 

[rybens]

im just meaning im trying to understand why i feel feel guilty that iv got to this point was asking advice thats all

 

[candie]

I don't feel guilty at all If I carried on piling weight on, and getting more co morbidities leading to an early death, it would be worse for my family

 

[rybens]

I don't feel guilty at all If I carried on piling weight on, and getting more co morbidities leading to an early death, it would be worse for my family

this is what i keep telling myself better it stops now than gets any worse, sure when its all over ill be happy as hell the operation just a bit scary, so many great storys on here so sure i wont have any problems

 

[Brunetteandred]

I agree with Candie. After years if trying everything under the sun to take weigh off and keep it off (that;s the hardest part isn't it?), WLS is my last chance saloon. Otherwise the option would have been a bigger strain on the NHS resources, more illness, grief for my family and an early death.

 

[candie]

this is what i keep telling myself better it stops now than gets any worse, sure when its all over ill be happy as hell the operation just a bit scary, so many great storys on here so sure i wont have any problems

You'll get tons of help and support on here hun, it's faband DO NOT FEEL GUILTY lol

 

[zetacatty]

You haven't failed. Just because you have the genes that make you retain fat and find it utterly impossible to lose it long-term does not make you a failure! You've tried other routes to weight loss - this is merely another one. But one that you know will work and help your health long-term rather than yo-yo dieting. So don't feel guilty sweetheart, there's nothing to be ashamed of. Zxx

 

[margaretmc]

Hi Rybens
I don't know how old you are hun but I turn 51 in Aug and I`v been on diets from my teens and I`m sick of banging my head against a brick wall and not getting any where . I wouldnt wish my illnesses on anybody and this is my last chance now to be healthy and happy . Take care and good luck .
Margaret xx

 

[hopelesscase]

im struggling with the question as well. To be honest if you are at this point and thinking along thoes lines are you really ready and prepared for the life changing commitment you are entering into. Cause believe me in effect bypass is an enforced diet for life, its not a case of oh well once ive lost the weight i will be able to have A, B ans C its a case of although you can eat a vast range of food you will only ever be able to eat a small amount quite often not even a childs portion.
Im on a training course tomorrow and it is a pastie and pea lunch, My manager phoned me today to forwarn me as she knows i wouldnt eat that and said ill get you a sandwich instead. I told her not to worry that i will take my own lunch because i would only manage 1/4 of a barm if that. That is the only time i would feel guilty and that would be about wasting food when someone had made a special effort to accomodate me.

 

[rybens]

Thank you hopefully ill get a date soon and can be on the other side of the weight loss fence lol

 

[rybens]

I think what started this all off is i was speaking to a mate yesterday , a very thin mate who has lost 5 stone on ww and she kept going on about the risks and said she wasnt being funny but why not try another diet as it would be easyer than going under the knife , thats what made me feel a bit crap i could see it in her that she would never have gone down the surgical route, but we are not all the same and after years of thinking about it im just going through the emotional issues im sure plenty of you may have had before sugery

 

[candie]

I think what started this all off is i was speaking to a mate yesterday , a very thin mate who has lost 5 stone on ww and she kept going on about the risks and said she wasnt being funny but why not try another diet as it would be easyer than going under the knife , thats what made me feel a bit crap i could see it in her that she would never have gone down the surgical route, but we are not all the same and after years of thinking about it im just going through the emotional issues im sure plenty of you may have had before sugery

A couple of years ago I would've said the same as your mate, but after a few more failed diets I have had to get realDiets do not work for me, and most other peeps, long term

 

[Brunetteandred]

How long has she maintained the 5 stone off? It's easy to be judgemental when one is newly svelte or still losing. On the other hand, if she is a successful long-time loser, then good for her. Still doesn't alter the fact that we are all different and have to cut our cloth accordingly!

You do what feels right for you.

 

[CamperLou]

Please do not feel guilty about the decision you're making, at the end of the day for me having a bypass was not my last option it was my ONLY option to loose my weight. Being overweight/obese for more than 15years as I have is an illness, partly in my head as I just can't control my eating habits and also the fact diets works for a short while but then lose their impact on my weight loss. I've had people say to me just lose wight the normal way for gods sake! Well the fact is some of us can't do that and by having a bypass it provides you will an amazing tool to help you lose weight (It is not a miracle cure and you must still work at it). Some have even said I am taking the easy option?!! What !! I said, I am having a major op, going under a general with a BMI of 48, paying for it myself, risking my life and leaving my kids without a mummy (which actually if I hadn't had the op there was a good chance in 10 years time i would be doing that anyway) changing my eating habits for the rest of my life, putting up with the post op pain etc.. I would hardly call it the easy option.. Its the ONLY option for me. So good luck to you and I wish you success in what ever you decide to do. XX

 

[LizzieBee]

Im just going through all the tests and meetings at the moment to anable me to have a bypass , iv been on diets forever and need to put a stop to any more weight gain , as dont want to cause problems with my health. My problem is im finding it hard that iv got to this point and feel really guilty that i just didnt have the strenth and will power to do it for me and my family the old traditional way of just dieting . Just wondered if any one had felt this way :sigh:

I totally get your feelings of guilt. I used to feel the same way. I was always of the opinion that drug addicts chose drugs over their families and then realised that maybe I chose food over my family. Why couldn't I choose my family over putting food in my mouth?

Addiction doesn't work as easily as a simple choice. If it was no one would be overweight. We are all overweight for reasons other than the overeating. Overeating is a symptom of a deeper cause.

Addicts get assistance. The way I see it is that diets are like trying to get a hold of our addiction alone but WLS is like rehab - and do we want to go to rehab? Yes! Yes! Yes! (Apologies to any Winehouse fans!)

Always remember too that drug addicts do not have to sit down with a pile of their drug of choice three times a day!

You deserve to be healthier and to feel happier - you have no idea the benefit those two things will have on your family - so you are giving healthy, happy you to them too! It isn't selfish or weak - it is brave! You have decided to end your unhealthy relationship with food once and for all - well done, girlfriend!

Lx

 

[Snowcrystal]

I asked my husband if I were being selfish seeking a bypass. He knows what I have gone through with my weight, he has seen my tears when I can't join in with family outings, social events, trying to look nice and so-on, he's seen the effect it has on every aspect of not just 'my life' but 'our life'...So when I asked him if I were being selfish, he said it was one of the most unselfish things I have ever done.

So for me there has been an aspect of guilt but more than anything else it was 'shame'.

Emotions are so hard to control when we are making major decisions in our lives and going under the knife is a serious decision, but then dying of a obesity related condition is so final...at least we are giving it a shot.

Just look at the faces of the folk here (pictures of before and after) and see the 'joy' they have in their eyes at becoming who they now are...It's hard to miss!

Good luck....

{hugs}

 

[Cat321]

Guilty? Not really. Embarrassed? Yes! I feel ashamed that I had to resort to a surgical procedure to stop me eating myself to death and why could I not do it through willpower and strength alone?

But, I couldn't. I need the help that the bypass has given me and I'm so, so grateful for that. I guess as time has gone on I feel less embarrassed as I can see where it has gotten me but I still don't like admitting what I had to people. I guess I'm just scared that they will judge me or something.

 

[Caroline101061]

Im just going through all the tests and meetings at the moment to anable me to have a bypass , iv been on diets forever and need to put a stop to any more weight gain , as dont want to cause problems with my health. My problem is im finding it hard that iv got to this point and feel really guilty that i just didnt have the strenth and will power to do it for me and my family the old traditional way of just dieting . Just wondered if any one had felt this way :sigh:

For my part absolutely not - I had come to the end of the road with my weight problems having been obese for the best part of 40 years (Im 47 now) - tried every diet going and yoyoed as per normal. I embrace the fact that there was an operation out there that could help me become healthy and post op having already lost 4 stone 4lbs, Im thrilled and delighted. Would have had it 20 years ago had I known what I know now

 

[Janeywanttoloosealot]

Im just going through all the tests and meetings at the moment to anable me to have a bypass , iv been on diets forever and need to put a stop to any more weight gain , as dont want to cause problems with my health. My problem is im finding it hard that iv got to this point and feel really guilty that i just didnt have the strenth and will power to do it for me and my family the old traditional way of just dieting . Just wondered if any one had felt this way :sigh:

Hiya, can i just say that i know where you are coming from as i to went through the same thing as you. I could have had the surgery 4 years ago but i kept thinking know i have to do it myself but know when i look back i did not have the surgery because i felt that i was letting people down who wanted me to loose the wheight by loosing it myself. Stupid i know. I had a long chat with my doctor the other day who i am incredibly grateful to who said that the whole of his surgery were willing me to have the surgery and when i first told my family that i was having the surgery they all jumped up and shouted thank god for that. For me it is the best thing i have ever done and it just shows you how wrong you can be about people even those that are close to you and my biggest regret was not having it done 4 years ago. But i have had it done now and 102 pounds down so far and am incredibly happy i hope this helps you in some way. janey