Hi Rybens, I do understand your feelings of guilt and failure to lose weight in conventional ways.
However, have you considered the huge amount of will power we have all had in losing weight, only sadly to put it all back on and more.
We have all messed with our metabolisms, most tried pills, potions, fad diets etc etc. Being obese is the outcome of all of this effort.
Surgery is not an easy option, it is often the last resort for us to lose weight and maintain this weight loss. After all what is a diet - it is a battle with what our bodies naturally want to do - ie conserve fat just in case there is a famine. Imagine if someone said to you, well, you need to cut down the amount of water you are drinking and so you had to monitor each glass, only to still feel thirsty. Not natural is it, in fact quite ridiculous.
For myself, I have never been a stable weight apart from when I was at Uni for the first time (undergrad). I maintained 12 stones by throwing up. I still felt I was fat.
Looking back I can't believe that I felt this way, already having had several diets under my belt. I had my son in my teens b4 uni and have not been happy with my body since - v paranoid re tummy after having a 10lb baby!
I think over the years I have probably lost 30 stone, dieting, regaining etc. doubtless most people here have had the same problems. It is not a will power thing I don't think, and when a person is morbidly obese I think weight loss becomes far far more difficult due to emotional, physical and psychological changes and difficulties.
People who question WLS don't really understand our desperation. Despair. If dieting worked, would we not all be thin? Do people really think that we choose to be morbidly obese? To find it hard to walk, get diabetes, feel self conscious, have embarrassing things happen, get comments from loved ones and strangers.
You have taken a brave step. Be proud of yourself, you are trying to achieve good health and a better quality of life, and are taking well considered steps in order to achieve it. x