Do you believe in Fate

[fatbutnot4eva]

I have my op booked for monday (if the snow stays off)
I was tooing and frowing who to tell etc etc.
so the only people that know are my parents brother, parents in law, sister in law hubby and kids.
I have two good friends, one is a nurse in the theatres at salford royal and i thought i woudl have to tell her just in case sh e is there on teh day i have my op. Well she broke her elbow last week and has a sick note so will not be in.
The other friend i walk to school with every day, well school is shut because of the snow, so no walking to school on monday so my mum wont have to think of excuses why i am not there and on teh tuesday my hubby is taking them as he does once every week.
So is it fate ? luck ? coincidence ? or madness ?

I am now considering keeping my band just between family.

Is this wrong ?

I just know as soon as i tell these two friends (who are best friends and have kids in my kids classes) the whole of my kids school will know, all the mums, teachers, neighbours as we also live on the same street.

Is it possible to keep something this important a secret ?
I am not ashamed at all, just dont want everyone knowing.

helen
x

 

[Mark01/05/2009]

Hi Helen

Yes it is definately possible to keep your band a secret. Maybe during the first few stages some people may wonder why your eating so llittle, if they do see you eating that is.... sounds like the mums in the playground wont?

Obviously they will see your fantastic weight loss and ask you how you have done it, you could always say "i just eat less, eat the right things and exercise more" which wouldnt be a lie and once all your weight is off, people will get used to the slimmer you and forget all about it.....

or

you could be open with them, embrace the amazing thing you are doing and say "shove it" to all those that doubt you, not that anyone has ever given me any negative comments post bypass......

however you want to play it, be proud of what your doing xxxxx

 

[ejc1905]

It is definitely possible to keep it a secret. The only people in my circle who know are my parents, my in-laws, my hubby & my 2 closests friends. This was a deliberate choice as I didn't want every man & his dog knowing & judging me.

I have had a few colleagues who have asked me what I am doing to lose the weight & I am saying exactly what Mark suggested... I tell them I am doing portion control, drinking a minimum of 2 litres of water & doing 30mins on the Wii everyday. As Mark said - its not a lie, just not the whole truth.

I did say before the op, that if any family member asked me I would be completely honest. Sadly, my hubby's family are gossiping about me behind my back - according to the rumors I've done everything from having Liposuction to a sustained illness.

At the beginning, I found it quite hurtful that they didn't just ask me outright & spent so much time gossiping about me. Now though, I find it highly funny & when I am with them, I love to wind them up with silly comments to send them off in all different directions!

At the end of the day its a personal choice & only you can make it. My point is that you can keep it secret if you want to & both revealing it & keeping it a secret has pro's & cons

Hope that helps?
ejc

 

[claudia24]

im a huge believer in fate, everything does happen for a reason.

i have kept my bypass between me and my family, obviously my 2 bosses know and 4 ppl at work do and they havent told anyone else, i know this cause i work in a factory and loads of gossip goes on, a few ppl have asked me if im on a diet cause i have lost weight and i say yes, new year new me, and they see me eat at work and i just take grapes and mixed fruit with me.

im not ashamed and i prob will be more open about it when i loads loads of weight but at the moment am still comin to terms with the op myself and i never knew how personal it would feel to me till i did it so im glad no many ppl know xx

 

[phatmomma]

You do whatever suits you. As the others say you can tell a little fib about it.... Just a quickie though? Do the children know you're going for an operation while nanny is looking after them or are they oblivious? Kids talk, you know what they're like...

My ten year old this week put her ambitions for the year down at school to try harder and help me after i have my gastric bypass (and not in that order)...

You may need to think of a reason for a little operation if the kids know.....

hth and again good luck for your surgery xxx

 

[phatmomma]

But.......... if people ask me (after i have my operation) i will tell them. To be honest i work with nearly 180 people over shifts (them not me lol) and am not close with many of them so their opinion means nothing to me either way.... Let them gossip about me, at least they'll leave another person alone then xx

 

[Mazza]

Hi Helen

Only my mum and OH know, well apart from all the lovely peeps on here. Maybe it was fate that you didnt get to tell these people.

As the others have said, do what YOU feel is right. There is absolutly no reason why you need to tell anyone else but likewise other than for your own privacy no reason why not to tell people.

Im a very private person, even when on diets before I didnt really tell people - more from fear of failing though.

Good luck for Monday x

 

[Gail-michelle]

I told every man and his dog! Lol, but you could quite easily keep it a secret by just telling people your going on a diet for your new years reselution! great time of the year for a good ole blagging eh! Gail x P.s its only a teeny weeny lil white lie! cause in theory you will be He! He!

 

[Tyraboots]

Not telling someone is not a lie, it just simply is not their business, simply as that.

Stop making excuses, start making decisions. If you do not choose to tell someone about your op, it's a choice, you have decided not to tell them. It's the moral ambiguity involved, I think some people feel they have to make some kind of 'confession'. I know the forst person out of my circle I told, I felt I was 'confessing' a sin.

 

[SOON SLIM SUE]

Ofcause you can try to keep it a secret, it's your body, your op, your choice.
I can't help telling people, i'v told everyone at work, all my friends, all my neibours, every one round the co-op and lots of people i don't even know. When my op got cancelled most of them where more angery over it than i was, my boss even offered to phone the hospital over it.

 

[Lady_in_London]

I personally think you should not feel it is important to not let anyone know. It seems like you feel worried or perhaps ashamed to have to go down the surgery route, and you should not feel that way. Women gossip - it's what they do. They will always find something to talk about. However, if people know about your band, they won't think badly of you. In fact they may well admire you for doing something constructive about it. Beware for a bit of envy. A slim figure is difficult to maintain for someone who has not had surgery, and everyone knows that. Don't feel worried about who knows about your band. You don't have to justify your actions to anyone, least of all people who are not your immediate family or friends. You'll be fine.

 

[fatbutnot4eva]

Thanks, Its fab I have you guys.
My Husband is really flippant about it and from teh start said to me dont tell **** and ***** and this was almost 2 years ago and so I have never told them or anyone else. I was in the hairdressers on friday and thoughht shoudl i tell her and then thought No.
I just dont want it to come out later down teh line and people think bad of me, It is my "secret" I just dont expect others to feel that they have to keep it a secret for me.
Thanks very much for all your replies, my heart is telling me to announce it on facebook lol. My head is saying dont be so silly lol x