Feeling upset after my pre-op assessment

[yorkiegal]

I've been up to the hospital today for my pre-op assessment, which involved being weighed, blood pressure taken, an ecg and then an exercise test where I had to pedal on an exercise bike for 15 mins whilst hooked up to monitors.
The nurse was one of those who manage to convey disapproval without saying anything that might get them into trouble. But she did manage to mention that it would be better if I could manage to lose the weight myself, and then made a comment about the nhs being stretched financially. Ok I get it, I'm a lazy fat blimp who is expecting the nhs to pay for my lack of will power. Funnily enough, from the moment the doctor entered the room she became much friendlier.
I thought I'd managed the exercise test really well so I wasn't prepared for bad news.
The anaesthatist said that if anything were to go wrong during the operation, or if there were complications in the first few days afterwards, it's unlikely that my heart and lungs would be able to cope. So I'm high risk. He said he'll write to my consultant who will decide with me whether I want to go ahead with the surgery, knowing the risks, or postpone it, or look at other options for losing weight.
On a positive note, I can do things to reduce my risk. I can stop smoking and start doing more exercise. I thought that walking the dog three times a day was enough, but apparantly I need to be out of breath and working hard at it for it to be of any use.
I have to admit that I really didn't think I would be high risk. I'm still in my thirties, I don't drink, I have no comorbidities and at 21 stone, there are lots of people much heavier than me who are having the bypass.

I think it just hit me today for the first time that I could actually die if I have the bypass. I knew the stats but I'd just shrugged them off before. But today was a big wakeup call. I feel so ashamed that I'm not able to lose this weight myself. You'd think that being told you could die on the operating table would be an incentive to stick to a diet wouldn't you? And yet my biggest fear is being refused the operation.

 

[jaynefrances]

I'm appalled at the unprofessional response you had from the pre op assessment nurse. She has no right to make such insinuations and you would be within your rights to take this to PALS. Thats the last thing you need at this stage.
It frustrates me when people say can't you lose the weight naturally - do they think we haven't tried ? !!
With regards to the risks of the op, did the anaesthatist say that there was a specific problem that increases the risk to you as an individual or was he just referring to the general risks that most of us overweight people face during surgery ?
If i were you i'd share you concerns with the consultant as he will explain the risks more clearly and advise you on how to proceed. Try to get to speak to someone as soon as possible as its quite stressful carrying these anxieties round with you.

 

[yorkiegal]

The anaesthatist explained that in the 48hrs post surgery, even though you're lying down in bed, your heart is effectively working at the same rate that it would be if you were out jogging. So it needs to be strong enough to cope with that. I don't have a specific problem with my heart. It's just that years of not exercising it or my lungs has effected it's ability to withstand stress.
I thought of loads of questions I could have asked him afterwards but couldn't think of them at the time.

 

[Fashionably Late]

I would definitely make a complaint about the nurse. That is simply awful! I would also work on stopping smoking. My dad smoked for over 50 years and stopped with the help of Champix.

 

[Chuffy_29]

The nurse was one of those who manage to convey disapproval without saying anything that might get them into trouble. But she did manage to mention that it would be better if I could manage to lose the weight myself, and then made a comment about the nhs being stretched financially. Ok I get it, I'm a lazy fat blimp who is expecting the nhs to pay for my lack of will power. Funnily enough, from the moment the doctor entered the room she became much friendlier.

I thought I'd managed the exercise test really well so I wasn't prepared for bad news.

On a positive note, I can do things to reduce my risk. I can stop smoking and start doing more exercise. I thought that walking the dog three times a day was enough, but apparantly I need to be out of breath and working hard at it for it to be of any use.
I have to admit that I really didn't think I would be high risk. I'm still in my thirties, I don't drink, I have no comorbidities and at 21 stone, there are lots of people much heavier than me who are having the bypass.

I'm appalled at the unprofessional response you had from the pre op assessment nurse. She has no right to make such insinuations and you would be within your rights to take this to PALS. Thats the last thing you need at this stage.

If i were you i'd share you concerns with the consultant as he will explain the risks more clearly and advise you on how to proceed. Try to get to speak to someone as soon as possible as its quite stressful carrying these anxieties round with you.

I totally agree with what jaynefrances says. Discuss it with your consultant and see what the risk is, you have to weigh up the risk of surgery versus the risk of remaining (or increasing) your weight. Chefclay was also unimpressed with comments from a pre-op nurse...sounds like some of them are not really helpful and not the kind of people who need to be working at a WLS clinic! You should definately complain and if you see a nasty nurse again then make sure if they make a comment you're ready with a comeback about how the surgery is value for money.
It's almost certainly the smoking that is having the most effect on your heart and lungs so if you can give up it's really worth it. The other thing that will really help is doing a little "sweaty" exercise (just 10-15 minutes to start with) every day. I used to go to the gym and really found improving my fitness helped my BP and my asthma, even when i didn't lose weight. My preferred exercise is having a good dance about to some nineties tracks; no-one can see me and theres no need for co-ordination.
Hopefully the next appointment will clear up your worries. Good Luck

 

[J-Mo]

I really feel for you YorkieGal. No one has the right to speak to us in that way & we didn't wake up one day fat & decide I'll have an op then I be okay!!! I had a consultant say to be 'can u not just lose a few pounds urself & save us all this hassle'!!

I hope ur op still goes ahead as I'm sure people who are housebound have surgery. I'm really worried that I won't get mine now as I'm so unfit. Dont think I could even manage 15 minutes on an exercise bike!!!

 

[Bev]

Hello love,

I am so sorry to read about your disappointment.

It is seeming like there is more negativity floating our way on some NHS appointments... after Paul's experience (Chefclay) yesterday and this... I feel that we need to take a firm stand when we are up against this type of attitude.

None of us are going for surgery (or taking risks) because we want to do this... but because we 'need' to do it.. it's good that the risks are pointed out and good luck with the exercise and stopping smoking...

There is no end of questions and soul searching which goes into this process before we make our decision and it is not only a physical but mental rollercoaster... on the day when in our appointments, it's easy to forget and it may help to write you list in advance.

It is appalling treatment to feel as though you are powerless and helpless after you have been given some encouragement earlier to have the surgery and I am afraid, if I meet with this type of attitude... it will be a detailed Report from me to everyone including the Minister for Health.. I am also not afraid of going public... despite the critics and those who are against us with weight 'ism' attitudes....

We have to do this for 'ourselves' and we have to be determined against adversity... never let the door close in your face!

I am probably one of the older contenders on here and who is going for WLS... my advice to you is... 'I have wasted 30 years of my life trapped in this body... it has affected everything including my health... with serious consequences... there is nothing that I can do to regain the time I have lost... but if I had my time to go again... I would have done this much much earlier'....

Good luck to you and please stand firm and record everything including comments, names of individuals, dates and times, keep a log and if you feel it may be of benefit, it can only come from you to complain if you feel that it is warranted, formulate a professional complaint to all and sundry... if a complaint is compiled in an appropriate way, I would hope that this would go in your favour... not the opposite.

I do hope you will start to feel much better and get going with your continuing journey.

Love and best wishes to you all xxx

 

[Grace]

I am so sorry that you too have had to experience this appalling and unprofessional behaviour. When I think of what the nursing profession used to be, it makes me want to weep. This nurse was clearly not only very ignorant, but also prejudiced.

It is of course up to you, but I would be considering a complaint.

On the 'upside'...and this may sound strange to you...I would personally have preferred the extensive testing, and even the high risk being flagged up to you pre-op, to the, dare I say 'careless at best; incompetent at worst' approach which I experienced.

At least your team are taking you seriously and perhaps more importantly, taking your safety seriously.

Of course you will feel upset by your news, who wouldn't?

I want to send huge hugs and oodles of compassion your way: but also to voice a note of realism.
My experience of WLS was no 'walk in the park' and I think that pre-op, like many, I preferred to focus on the wonderful benefits that would unfold post-op, rather than the potential risks. But hindsight being a wonderful thing, the 'ostrich approach' did me no favours!

I would also agree that if you can possibly make a concerted effort to give up smoking and increase your exercise (perhaps swimming?) you will be helping yourself.

Since you now have LOADS of questions you wished you'd asked (isn't that always the way?! grrrrrrrr!) why not NOW whilst it's all fresh, make a list to take with you to your next appointment and ensure you get the answers.

This won't just help you; it will also demonstrate to your surgeon, that YOU are also taking this WLS very seriously.

Finally - bin the guilt, bin the shame. If you could lose the weight 'yourself' you would. You can't, because obesity is a condition which WLS is proving, needs medical intervention. And don't allow other people' ignorance or prejudice place that guilt and shame on your shoulders. Their ignorance is THEIR problem. Don't take it on as yours.

with much love

Charis xxx

 

[yorkiegal]

Thankyou all so much. I don't know what I'd do without this forum.
I'm not up to making a complaint although I might mention it unofficially to my bariatric nurse the next time I see him. Frankly I don't want to do anything right now which labels me a trouble maker.

I think I do struggle with the whole ''obesity is a disease'' argument, because deep down I do still feel so ashamed of myself for my lack of self control. It makes me go to my hospital appointments feeling like I'm robbing the nhs. But then I think about the alternatives and there aren't any. My pct doesn't even have a weight management service. It's either surgery or the occasional meeting with the health care assistant at my gp's to get weighed. There's nothing in between here.

 

[notahappybunny]

Im so sorry you have been made to feel this way. As Charis as pointed out better to find out now and not under anaesthetic. Maybe in the time between now and seeing consultant you cud ask your GP to help you stop smoking.
Don't feel you are robbing the NHS as i see it, the people taking drugs/alcohol etc get treatment why shouldn't we esp when we keep getting told Obesity costing the NHS millions etc, we are asking for help not condemnation!

 

[dottychic]

Keep your chin up hun, dont let the &^%$&&$! grind you down, you will be the one smiling when you get your op and that nurse will still be a miserable ignorant ......you know what x

 

[BlueDiamond]

 

[kurvykaren]

That nurse really needs a dressing down! I appreciate that most nurses do a fantastic job for little money, but if she thinks like that about her patients she shouldn't be there! You did well - I think I'd have counted to 10 then counted again, and then asked what she was saying!
Do these people really think we pick surgery as a nice easy option cos were fat lazy bleep bleep bleeps!!?
I'm under no illusions, I know I'm never going to have the body beautiful or run along the beach in a bikini, I just want the chance to live a life!
Definitely report her to PALS or someone - with nurses talking like that no wonder we get such bad press!! She should realise that a lot of overweight people already have image issues without the ones that are supposed to help us having a go as well.
Don't feel bad about the NHS spending money on you, I certainly don't! (this is not meant to upset or annoy anyone) but I've worked my whole life for over 23 years since leaving school at 16, never claimed a single penny in any benefits of any kind, so I feel I've damn well paid enough money in national insurance contributions to get a bit of it back to help me when I need it. I'm want to be ab le to carry on working for myself, so I see it that having the surgery means that I won't have to stop working because I'm disabled because of obesity, when I then would have to claim lots of benefits for everyone else to pay for me to live for the rest of my life.
God - so sorry - I did go on a bit! Once I get my teeth stuck in there's no letting go!
As I said earlier, please don't let one persons negative attitude towards you make you think you're worth less than you are - I think we're all worth our weight in gold (wishful thinking!) lol x x x