Getting really anxious

[corrine82]

Oooh i am feeling really upset today my partner is taking it really bad about my op my neighbour has just told me he was round last night in floods of tears he wont talk to me about it probally because he does not want to upset me but i wish he would !!!! I am feeling really anxious and scared myself but trying to cover it up for my familys sake . I know it is always on my mind as i cant sleep propally nightmares i never get them till now !!!!

I am very worried as i do weight a lot i am currently 31 stone bmi around 60 i was 34 stone so managed to get 3 off before can i ask how big you were before surgery ?

Corrine xx

 

[Cowgirl]

Hi Corrine

I am really sorry that you are so worried for you and your family. This is obviously very scary for all of you and it's understandable that you and you husband would feel anxious and frightened. The thing is, these type of things happen to people on the tv and mostly all we hear about on tv programmes are the horror stories. Look at all the different shapes and sizes on this site, we have a wealth of knowledge here to put your mind at ease.

I am currently 18st 10. My biggest was 19st 7lb. The risks are very minimal and if you were in danger then the surgeon would not reccommend this procedure for you. I am worried about any family member when they have surgery and my dad was worried about me having the band fitted but i said to him, if yo are worried with the risks associated with anasthetic, then thats silly as I could have my apendix ot next week or have to have surgery for some other reason so I might as well have one to better my chances of becoming healthy! I'm more at risk at the size I am now, than I am to surgery, if you look at it that way it kinda evens out the odds.

Why don't you speak to your husband about it and say youre both gonna lay your concerns and worries on the line and let them out. Sometimes just speaking the words and getting it off yor chest is help enough! You're very lucky to have a lovely husband who worries about you like this, he obviously loves you very much.

Good luck, keep us posted!
Big hugz

Ginaxxxx

 

[tammy]

Hi corrine it is perfectly normal to feel anxious and worried before you have your op. Other people around you will also feel anxious and worried but they need to accept that you are doing this for you and it will only improve your quality of life. keep positive hun xx

 

[Silversurfer]

Hi Corrine

Can i ask how old you are and where and who is doing your op, i see your in Manchester ?

I understand your worry and that of your husband, its not nice going through all this but as Cowgirl and the others have said your life probably depends on it longerterm ! your husband has to understand this and support your decision to do it.

Cheers

Richard

 

[corrine82]

Hi Richard i am 26 years old and Mr Ammori is also doing mine at the Alexander in cheadle . I know thats where you had yours and you highly recommend Mr Ammori so i know deep down i am in good hands but there is always that worry and it never helps when my dh is so worried to i then start to feel guilty that i am putting him through this i explained to him the reason i am doing this is to watch my children grow up and to have a healthy long life spent with him i know he knows that deep down but there is always that unknown there

Corrine x

 

[Percy greenfingers]

Bless his little heart. I haven't had surgery but do know how difficult it is to lose weight. The problem is, if you don't do this he'll lose you anyway! Write him a letter, tell him you love him and want to be healthy. It is ok for him to worry, he must love you a lot.
Take care and chin up!

 

[Silversurfer]

Hi Richard i am 26 years old and Mr Ammori is also doing mine so i know that you highly recommend him xx

Oh stop worrying then you'll be fine - Basils a top surgeon, reputed to be one of the best in the game, in fact i trusted him with my life

26 years old - this is what you do, go out tomorrow and buy yourself some sexy underwear in a size 14, when i say sexy i mean the full works, hang it up where you husband can see it and ask him if he'd like to see you wearing it, when he says yes then you can say "well if you want to see me in it, then this is what i have to do" reverse phycology !
i know he loves you because you are you, but men are visually stimulated easier than women

And trust me, there's already a Basil Ammori fan club on this site, soon you'll be part of it i'm sure

Richard

 

[corrine82]

I will give that idea a go lol He will probally think i have gone absolutely nuts but worth a try !!!!

Thanks for your advice and i will soon be on the basil fan club not had chance to meet him yet so looking forward to meeting the legend and putting my life in his hands xx

 

[tammy]

Hi Corrine, i'm in the mr ammori fan club he was great and has very few post op complications. Try not to woory look at it as the start of a whole new journey and a newer happier you xx

 

[georgina]

hi corrine, hun my heart goes out to u and ur hubby, but only do it if its what u want hun, im 16 months post op now and it bloody fantastic to be able to walk into a shop and see things and best of all be able to buy it, get ur hubby to have a look on minis and read some threads, start a new thread or ask hubby to and he can ask us questions if he likes maybe it will pit him at ease, u can mail me if u want id be happy to answer anything u or ur hubby want to ask its [email protected] anything to help out, i was 25 stone and my bmi was 65, best thing i ever done, though my hubby moans cos i spend so much money now lol, and not on tents like b4 lol, take care xxx

 

[hopelesscase]

hi corrine i have nothing to ad to what everyone else has advised but just wanted to say im thinking of you and DH. Ive not had surgery yet and dont have a hubby but i do have sisters and a 19yr old son. they all know how i feel about how my weight affects me and when i started on Lipotrim 12 months ago although they didnt like the idea of it supported me. I was 21stone with a BMI of 63 and as im only 4ft 10 my joints were taking a hammering. I did the LT for 3 months and have been recommended for bypass something i had never thought about. I looked at it from the point of view that a proffesional has reccomended it as the only way to get to where i need to be with a healthy BMI and so after much thought and reserch its what im doing.
Go get that underware, write that letter, have the heart to heart and go forward knowing that this surgery is your chance of celebrating all thoes aniverseries together.
take care
HC

 

[Floella]

Hi Corinne I can fully understand how your partner feels because we had a very similar thing with my sister.

It is awful for the person concerned & for their family. It is a HUGE decision to make and once it's done it's done. There's no turning back.

I realise people on here are all trying to support each other (and I know I'll get told to push off - as usual) but you have started this thread and while the majority will say "you'll be fine, don't worry" etc you do need to know that 1 in a 100 will die from the gastric bypass op. We all know that ANY op has risks (which will no doubt be pointed out again very soon) but if someone can show me a higher mortality rate than this for any other op then I'll be interested.

Take a look here, this might help. It's the notes from a radio interview (12/8/08) so very recent and is Dr Mark Porter and Mr Guy Slater (top gastric surgeon) and he is quoting these figures.
BBC - Radio 4 - Case Notes 12/08/2008

There's also interviews with a couple of patients, which might help you.
Do all your research and armed with what you find, make your decision. Only you can decide because it's your body.

You partner is like this because he loves you but then you know that! All the best.

 

[tammy]

Hi Corinne I can fully understand how your partner feels because we had a very similar thing with my sister.

It is awful for the person concerned & for their family. It is a HUGE decision to make and once it's done it's done. There's no turning back.

I realise people on here are all trying to support each other (and I know I'll get told to push off - as usual) but you have started this thread and while the majority will say "you'll be fine, don't worry" etc you do need to know that 1 in a 100 will die from the gastric bypass op. We all know that ANY op has risks (which will no doubt be pointed out again very soon) but if someone can show me a higher mortality rate than this for any other op then I'll be interested.

Take a look here, this might help. It's the notes from a radio interview (12/8/08) so very recent and is Dr Mark Porter and Mr Guy Slater (top gastric surgeon) and he is quoting these figures.
BBC - Radio 4 - Case Notes 12/08/2008

There's also interviews with a couple of patients, which might help you.
Do all your research and armed with what you find, make your decision. Only you can decide because it's your body.

You partner is like this because he loves you but then you know that! All the best.

Floella, everyone is aware of the risks but at the end of the day our health issues are a risk too. If you don't have experience yourself of weight problems or health related issues then really you would be better to find another forum which could met your needs!!!!!!

People don't choose surgery as an easy option it is often a last attempt to live a happy and healthy life. People on here need support through their journeys and scare mongering isn't the way to go!!!

 

[Floella]

Tammy - that's fine. You carry on supporting in your way then.
Telling the truth is NOT scaremongering - take this up with Mr Guy Slater if you like!!
People need to make an INFORMED choice.

 

[serenitylove]

hi i was just over 25 st when i had my band fitted. mr slater that has been mentioned is one of my consultants and explained to me yes ops are risky but at the weight we are at we could have heart attacks blood clots and many other related illnesses there is a risk but the rewards from the op must surely outweight these i doubt there is one person banded or bypassed that hasnt felt as you and your husband do, when you go in your hubby can talk to the staff to ease his concerns but your hubby would be concerned if you having any op done and was also told by mr slater its safer for you to have bypass than it is for you to have your apenndix out by a surgeon not used to morbidly obese surgery x if you have concerns as for a chat with the team your under

 

[Loll]

Hi Corrine, You have to weigh up the pro's and cons. The risks of being too heavy far outweighs the risks of the operation. My husband was very stressed but we talked about it on a daily basis. The more you talk the more questions get answered and the better you BOTH feel. In the end it was an experience we were both going through.
Loll

 

[tammy]

hi i was just over 25 st when i had my band fitted. mr slater that has been mentioned is one of my consultants and explained to me yes ops are risky but at the weight we are at we could have heart attacks blood clots and many other related illnesses there is a risk but the rewards from the op must surely outweight these i doubt there is one person banded or bypassed that hasnt felt as you and your husband do, when you go in your hubby can talk to the staff to ease his concerns but your hubby would be concerned if you having any op done and was also told by mr slater its safer for you to have bypass than it is for you to have your apenndix out by a surgeon not used to morbidly obese surgery x if you have concerns as for a chat with the team your under

Agree with you fully serenitylove. we all know the risks of obesity and wouldn't choose WLS unless we were sure it was best for us. x

 

[tammy]

Tammy - that's fine. You carry on supporting in your way then.
Telling the truth is NOT scaremongering - take this up with Mr Guy Slater if you like!!
People need to make an INFORMED choice.

I will thanks and having experienced surgery myself and the anxieties and worry both myself and my family felt i think can support people!!

Everyone is made aware of the risks and makes an INFORMED decision and the benefits far outweigh the risks.

 

[charliegirl]

Floella a while ago told me I had choices, and yes we do we can all choose to ignore her and her comments......I look at it this way with being overweight and suffering from the high blood pressure, possibly sleep apnea (Which is no laughing matter, imagine never having a good nights sleep and waking more often then not with a thumping headache), high cholestrol not to mention the stress on joints etc I would sooner take the risk. They would not carry out so many operations of this sort if the death rate was high....Linda x

 

[Silversurfer]

Floella a while ago told me I had choices, and yes we do we can all choose to ignore her and her comments......I look at it this way with being overweight and suffering from the high blood pressure, possibly sleep apnea (Which is no laughing matter, imagine never having a good nights sleep and waking more often then not with a thumping headache), high cholestrol not to mention the stress on joints etc I would sooner take the risk. They would not carry out so many operations of this sort if the death rate was high....Linda x

Charliegirl - agree with you, apnea is no laughing matter, i had it for years and its finally getting better, waking up feeling tired, headaches, falling asleep at work etc, thankfully its one of the first things to improve post bypass.

Dont worry about Foella, she's what they term as a 'troll' on chat sites, trolls pop up spouting congecture and negativity whinding others up, then sit back an revel in the chaos they cause, i doubt she's had the op, and doubt she would understand what its like to live in obese body all her life as most of us have. The only way to combat a troll is to treat it with the contempt it deserves and ignore their comments and attempts at whinding issues up !