GRRRRR! Post op people who dont care!

[salski]

Hello all

Fortunately my rant doesnt extend to many people on here as people on here tend to want to succeed and thats why they join forums like this, however facebook is a different matter.....

What is it with people who just dont care?! 3 weeks post op blending KFC and drinking pints of lager! Going on nights out and asking (at 2 weeks post op I might add) what curry can I have....I fancy a korma...and 'I want to get sh*t-faced in town (a month post op) cider all the way' are just a selection of my 'friends' on facebook status recently.

It makes me grrr as the same people are messaging me day after day saying they are struggling with food choices and they 'hate cooking - so what type of take-away can I have each night'

What on earth can I do with these questions. I advise as much as I can, and I encourage people to post these questions on my group on facebook for Mancunian bariatric patients so others can advise that they should be doing the above for a long term post-op success....but in reality I want to chuff em off as they dont listen...BUT STILL ASK?! Grrrrrr

 

[Mazza]

Oh dear Sal! I really dont understand it either?

It must get very frustrating for you, especially as you are trying to help!

Its such a shame that after surgery people resort to these measures!

Maz x

 

[louisaL]

hi salski, i can understand your frustration that is disgusting behaviour!

I havent seen you before as i havent been on for a while so i wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS! on your pregnancy. i so hope i will be where you are after my op!!!!

 

[Bev]

Oh my word Sal... I've learned something here I have never ever thought about, blending KFC and take away's post surgery... how silly can that be...

Don't stress yourself Angel, you can only do so much and you don't need any more stress...

Enjoy your weekend and think of you for a change... we are thinking of you too...

Loving hugs and get your rest Angel. xxx

 

[zns]

why have they gone through all this if thats their attitude, and how did they get oked? I assume they said all the right things when asked gah!

 

[cah-ching]

Hello all

Fortunately my rant doesnt extend to many people on here as people on here tend to want to succeed and thats why they join forums like this, however facebook is a different matter.....

What is it with people who just dont care?! 3 weeks post op blending KFC and drinking pints of lager! Going on nights out and asking (at 2 weeks post op I might add) what curry can I have....I fancy a korma...and 'I want to get sh*t-faced in town (a month post op) cider all the way' are just a selection of my 'friends' on facebook status recently.

It makes me grrr as the same people are messaging me day after day saying they are struggling with food choices and they 'hate cooking - so what type of take-away can I have each night'

What on earth can I do with these questions. I advise as much as I can, and I encourage people to post these questions on my group on facebook for Mancunian bariatric patients so others can advise that they should be doing the above for a long term post-op success....but in reality I want to chuff em off as they dont listen...BUT STILL ASK?! Grrrrrr

Hi Salski,

I hope you don't get vexed with what I'm about to say.
I appreciate why anyone would be frustrated and annoyed with questions posed such as the ones you mention. I actually think it's a bit funny in an ironic pitiful sad way.

Why are you bursting a blood vessel and getting upset over these people? Ultimately people who can't help themselves in even just a small way, should get help from you period! The reason they come to you is because they know they can't go to their bariatric team.

These people you mention clearly have eating problems and psychological issues and I wonder how on earth they qualified for surgery to begin with (NHS or Private!)

or they are lazy, disgusting, weak people who will frankly be dead in a few years. They are bone idle pre-op so why would that change post op? They are the true personification of why fat people are vilified in the media, especially those fat people who seek bariatric surgery. I have no compunction in saying that people like that should have been left to eat themselves to death.

I'd tell them in no uncertain terms what I thought of them, and I'd leave them to their cesspit of overindulgence, bad eating and laziness. I just hope to God that none of these people qualified for the surgery on the NHS.

 

[BandyEmm]

ah stuff um hun, if thats the kinda "friends" they are then you dont need them type of people around, they are simply blowing their chances with WLS and when they get back to the way they were they will be wondering why xx

 

[J-Mo]

The mind boggles, it really does. I've had bypass & didn't think I'd wake up after the op to find I was a size 6. I look at my bypass as a gift, its a tool to HELP me lose weight.

Hand up, I'm struggling at the moment with my weight loss but I'm working hard at it. My weakness was always chinese takeaways pre-op but never once has it crossed my mind to blend it post-op!! OMG, the though makes me wanna heave

Its a shame the people we read about who've been knocked back for surgery but these people have managed to get it.

Don't get me wrong, no one is perfect & we all need support. But these people are ridiculous.

You need a medal for your patience & biting your tongue!!

 

[Big an Bouncy]

P's me off no end when peeps(me included)have waited so long,jumped through hoops,been dissappointed and frustrated for so long, then hear about morons who abuse this gift they were given.Maz x

 

[salski]

Hi Salski,

I hope you don't get vexed with what I'm about to say.
I appreciate why anyone would be frustrated and annoyed with questions posed such as the ones you mention. I actually think it's a bit funny in an ironic pitiful sad way.

Why are you bursting a blood vessel and getting upset over these people? Ultimately people who can't help themselves in even just a small way, should get help from you period! The reason they come to you is because they know they can't go to their bariatric team.

These people you mention clearly have eating problems and psychological issues and I wonder how on earth they qualified for surgery to begin with (NHS or Private!)

or they are lazy, disgusting, weak people who will frankly be dead in a few years. They are bone idle pre-op so why would that change post op? They are the true personification of why fat people are vilified in the media, especially those fat people who seek bariatric surgery. I have no compunction in saying that people like that should have been left to eat themselves to death.

I'd tell them in no uncertain terms what I thought of them, and I'd leave them to their cesspit of overindulgence, bad eating and laziness. I just hope to God that none of these people qualified for the surgery on the NHS.

Thank you - and I agree, but then in the next breath want them to not be dead in a few years. They are of course NHS patients and something I have noticed with the North West PCT's...the younger you are, the easier it is for funding....I felt like that when I got my funding so easily...and others who would life long commit dont get passed?!

Thank you all for your responses....Im just sick of trying to help with it thrown back at me on status updates?! LOL

 

[cherry]

ummmmm, ouch cah ching! i feel that was very harsh, i dont know where i sit with this one on one hand i think, 'are you crazy blending kfc' which i have to say is HORRIFIC!! and on another i think, well everyone who is having wls is in the same boat and we should kinda help each other out, certaintly if they cant help themselves id leave them to it, and say well ive given all the advice i can muster, as some people cannot simply be helped, if they wont do it...

 

[cah-ching]

Thank you - and I agree, but then in the next breath want them to not be dead in a few years. They are of course NHS patients and something I have noticed with the North West PCT's...the younger you are, the easier it is for funding....I felt like that when I got my funding so easily...and others who would life long commit dont get passed?!

Thank you all for your responses....Im just sick of trying to help with it thrown back at me on status updates?! LOL

I don't want them dead either. However if I was to hear about someone so reckless dying I wouldn't be in mourning for them .. if you know what I mean lol.

We all have a blow out from time to time. I choose every other weekend to have something 'nice' I am no saint and I do not purport to be. However I certainly am not so weak and pitiful as to want to liquefy KFC and drink beer (fizzy stuff at that!!!) when I've just left the operating table.

I'm sorry to read that these are NHS patients. I'm like a broken record here, but I cried tears of frustration with my doctors and having to get myself referred. As you know I was not referred and was refused help - having turned to the PCT, Health Trainers as well as GP's and Nurse. I've read on here (once) criticism about going private about the lack of mental support and assessment etc. however what you describe above is testament to the fact that if you want to make it work you will.... just that some are more lucky than others e.g. private vs. NHS.

I would seriously lay it out to these 'adults' in black and white and then refuse to help them if they refuse to assess themselves and change their ways. You are NOT their keeper thus you have no obligation to them. What you are doing is commendable however - you can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

Be good, concentrate on yourself and use your skills elsewhere, where they are undoubtedly appreciated. x

 

[cah-ching]

ummmmm, ouch cah ching! i feel that was very harsh, i dont know where i sit with this one on one hand i think, 'are you crazy blending kfc' which i have to say is HORRIFIC!! and on another i think, well everyone who is having wls is in the same boat and we should kinda help each other out, certaintly if they cant help themselves id leave them to it, and say well ive given all the advice i can muster, as some people cannot simply be helped, if they wont do it...

Not harsh at all .... you've said exactly the same thing I have.

However I pull no punches in stating what is very possible and clear .... f*ck with your bypass and the bypass will f*ck you. Simples. As my mother said to me when I was younger ... "if you cannot hear ... you will feel!". No pussy footing around here, this really is life and death ... people with BMI's of 60+ chucking their chance to live a decent, healthy life, realise their potential and not be judged by the way they look? Sorry, but there is no two ways about it ...... 60+BMI chucking lager down yer throat and liquefying chicken tikka masala is bad and I really would kick each and every one of them up the ass I swear. They are not children. They would have gone through the necessary mental checks etc. (esp. on the NHS) and they have a whole team behind them to support them ... no what they want instead is liquid tikka masala ....no way Jose! Get of your bum, learn to cook and/or learn about healthy eating choices - we all have treats, but what I'm reading is pathetic to the extreme. There is no excuse.

Luckily I am not on Facebook. lol

 

[dawny]

i honestly cant understand, why go through major surgery, only to go and carry on and not make an effort to live a bit more healthily, yes its hard, but even a small effort is better than none, i feel sorry for all those ppl who are waiting, or have been refused funding for ops, when they are desperately trying to live healthily now, they just need the op, to keep the weight off. yet ppl who have been given this fanfastic gift, abuse it. yes we all like our little treats every now and then, but within reason, like the majority of us do. i dont know how you do hold your tongue sal huni, well done. but dont waste your energy on them, unless they start trying a bit harder. big hugs xxx

 

[J-Mo]

Not harsh at all .... you've said exactly the same thing I have.

However I pull no punches in stating what is very possible and clear .... f*ck with your bypass and the bypass will f*ck you. Simples. As my mother said to me when I was younger ... "if you cannot hear ... you will feel!". No pussy footing around here, this really is life and death ... people with BMI's of 60+ chucking their chance to live a decent, healthy life, realise their potential and not be judged by the way they look? Sorry, but there is no two ways about it ...... 60+BMI chucking lager down yer throat and liquefying chicken tikka masala is bad and I really would kick each and every one of them up the ass I swear. They are not children. They would have gone through the necessary mental checks etc. (esp. on the NHS) and they have a whole team behind them to support them ... no what they want instead is liquid tikka masala ....no way Jose! Get of your bum, learn to cook and/or learn about healthy eating choices - we all have treats, but what I'm reading is pathetic to the extreme. There is no excuse.

Luckily I am not on Facebook. lol

I couldn't agree more although in my case I did not go through any mental health check.

I've told people on the forum before about a girl I work with. She's had 2 bands, 1st paid for private by her parents that she snapped due to her overeating. She got the 2nd on NHS & has done the same again so has now been referred for a bypass for which she is now on the waiting list.

I've worried at 5 weeks post-op about eating crispbread & ryvitas!! Not bl**dy blended KFC & fizzy drinks!! WTF!!

Are these people morons?! Salski, I understand you wanting to help people but at the end of the day we are the only ones who can help ourselves!!

Cah-ching, I'm like you & call a spade a spade. No pussy footing about, tell it like it is..

 

[jasonslaphead]

There is some people that think that the surgery is some sort of magic thing and dont seem to get the idea that it can only help you if you are prepared to help yourself and it upsets me sometimes when I hear about things like blended kfc and the like when there are people who cant get the nhs funding and dont have the option of paying. However im sure that there must be some private op people doing the same out there too. That said these people would probably benefit from a bit of education and maybe their providers are not on top of the aftercare as much as they should be even though the buck has to stop at the person working the blender. I didnt really know much about food, eating or nutrition before the op and i still dont know a whole heap about it but enough to get me by. I often though it would be handy if I could grab the dietitian from chichester and drag her around sainburys for some pointers
These people that are eating junk might benefit from a bit of advice or a kick in the butt and maybe they will wake up and take notice if they got that. but if they know what they are doing and carrying on regardless there is not much anyone can do to help

 

[salski]

I guess I want to try with the re-education thing. I had a facebook friends cull the other day and I got rid of most of my bypass friends as I either speak to them on here, or I added them just because they asked etc....These people I specifically left 1) to answer silly questions from them as I know how silly it is to be sat there wondering what I can eat if I fancy something sweet and I guess 2) to keep an eye on what they are posting - as they will eventually be adding new post oppers and potentially offering advice - and I would have to receive advice of these guys....
I even spoke to the Salford dietician and explained to him that there were a few people struggling and he wanted to know to help them...I was unsure if it was my place to say, but I would hate for them to become ill, or to become unsuccessful due to bad food choices.

Anyway Im rambling now - I know what I want to say - but cant lol! Im knackered!

Sal xxxxx

 

[Grace]

Sal, I love that you care...BUT SURELY people know this is a completely stupid and destructive thing to do? No-one can be that thick, they just can't!

Like a few people have said, we all want the odd treat....but come on! To qualify for bariatric surgery on the NHS you have to have jumped the hoops, we know that.
Hoops such as SW, WW, dieticians, etc.

I DO honestly believe that there is a huge gap in the provision around some group psychotherapy/counselling/dietary advice, which in my opinion could be run in the wait for surgery, and would benefit everyone.

I would make it compulsory. No attendance would = no surgery.

But we do know. I suppose its like this: you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. You can perform bariatric surgery, but you can't stop a person making ridiculous choices about food.

It's a crying shame though, when people who would give it everything get refused funding.

 

[emma-louise]

hi..

I agree with everything whats been said in reply to this post.
Some people just dont deserve the surgery!!!
I thank the NHS everyday for giving me this chance to better my health and my life.

 

[thinkbethin]

Some people find it so hard to change their life style. To some it will have always been a way of letting of stress to go for a drink and a curry. What they don't realise it that the band is there to help them and not just do all the work for them. They have to help themselves now as no one can do it for them. I never had counciling before my op but I am all for it for those who cannot change their life style. There are some wonderful peeps here that had to work really hard to get their ops in the first place so to read of people abusing it is going to p*ss people off.xxx