Happy Little Camper :)

[Daisyhappy!]

Well I decided to start a diary as I'm lying in bed beside my amazingly supportive boyfriend and our beautiful baby girl is in her cot asleep beside us. I have talked about nothing else all day and poor DP is up early so to give him a break I came on here. I'm so full of enthusiasm about my decision to get the band that I was at the risk of bombarding every thread on here with my ramblings so at least this way I'm not getting in anyone's way, and it'll be nice to look back on!

Despite the title I'm far from little, just under 19st eeeek and no not even 1lb of that is baby weight, I wish I could blame it on that but when I was pregnant I was shockingly healthy! Always got more than my 5 day, loads of water, easy on the caffeine, very rarely ate take away until the end I developed a very serious addiction to big macs, but even then I wasn't extreme.

So I'm 23, 24 next month, my baby us 4 months old and absolutely incredible! I don't want her growing up seeing me on every bloody faddy diet going, losing weight, gaining weight, being so insecure. I have literally hundreds of pictures of her but I don't have a single one of us together-that fact has made me well up here
I just can't go on like this, I refuse to let weight take over my life. I turn down invites out to clubs, I don't even have naked sex with the man I love! I hold my breath walking by a group of "youths"-god I sound old!- for fear they'll call me fat, though this hasn't even happened since I was maybe 12! Thing is, I'm not this shy wall flower type of person! I do think that minus a few pounds I'm ok and I think that minus 8 stone I'm "the sh!t!" ha no I'm not that cocky but yeah, I'm happy with myself at anything under 13 stone really, how do I know this?

I did Lipotrim just after my 20th birthday and lost 8 stone, cringe- I don't tell anyone this as I'm SO mortified having regained it :O
I'm happy I proved I have the ability to lose weight but I didn't learn a thing about life changes!
So I'm hoping the band will be my "tool" the oh so famous word, to help me achieve my new way life! I have trawled the net for days and drank in as much information as I get my hands on, I've read the best of the best and the worst of the worst and I have decided that I am going to do this and I am going to succeed in getting to a healthy weight, I don't care if it takes 2 years once its forever and I learn to maintain in the process.

I can't imagine anyone is going to read this but it's important that I document my feelings and my wishes so that I can't just pretend I never had them.

I'm off to have myself some skinny dreams x x x

 

[JO28172]

Fab post Hun!!! And good on ya.!!! x

Sent from my iPhone using WLSurgery

 

[Caren]

i can relate to a lot of that honey, not going out, yoyo dieting, scared of comments, Gggrrrrrr i hate people that do that
Good luck with your journey you happy little camper xxx

 

[Daisyhappy!]

Ah thanks girls It's my daughters second day on baby rice and she literally started sqealing with delight when she saw the spoon, then cried when it was all gone. Like mother like daughter eh?! She's so bloody adorable!

 

[angiemason]

Good luck and i think we all have the ups and downs not wanting to sit in small seat etc waiting to be cat called but the laugh is on them they'll always be ugly people especially on the inside and you will be beautiful inside and out xx

 

[witchingmoon]

I am having RNY so I can have a family and don't want my children to feel embarrassed about me. So wish you loads of luck xx

 

[Big an Bouncy]

Great post hun see we were reading!How far are you in getting surgery?Have you got funding yet?Why have you opted for banding?There is so much to take in and you will get loads of help here!Maz x

 

[penelope1008]

Great start & great reasons to go for it. As a teenager & bride I was slim prior to the kids I gained weight & lost it, regained it during each pregnancy & some, the yo -yoing continued. I had my bypass in July and have lost just under 6stone since I started my journey & 3stone since my op. Going back to work ( our local comp) many of the kids let alone my colleagues have done double takes & wow's when they first see me, some of the kids haven't believed it was me. My youngest aged 15 was in trouble last term for hitting a friend who was taking the Micky about my size & despite my sin saying stop it didn't so my sir Galahad stepped in, says lots of his mates are amazed at me now. So for him I'm not so much of an embarrassment (my words not his). So even with 3-5stone still to go it is so worth it.

 

[kimsvespa]

stick in

 

[Daisyhappy!]

Oh Witchingmoon what a lovely reason to have it done, that'll really keep you motivated!!

Big and Bouncy I'm not very far into the process at all, only have my consultation on 30th but I am 100% sure this is for me, I never let surgery even enter my head as an option before because I felt I was so young but I always read stories of people who say their only regret is not having it done sooner and I've wasted so many years miserable with myself that I really want to turn that around now but moreso because my mam died when my baby girl was 11 days old and I was so completely lost, we don't really have any other family and I've no siblings, I needed my mam so much to give advice, share the amazing experience like my daughters first smile and first laugh, I was a total mess and still miss her so much it catches my breath.
Her illness wasn't weight related but it was caused by smoking (she was always slim) and I just hate the idea of leaving my little girl premiturely because of my weight or anything else that I can prevent. So I need to stamp out my own smoking- I don't smoke an awful lot- and get this weight off once and for all!!
I'm going private because over here (Ireland) there isn't really the option to have it done

Oh Penelope I often think of people slagging me of to her when she's in school and I would hate that!! I'm on a few parenting websites and there is often stories by women who have been really upset by their little innocent toddlers saying things like "oh mammy you're so big and fat" "you're belly is like a big bowl of jelly" I know they mean no harm but if my daughter said something like that I would be so hurt!
I have to say a big fair play to your son though, when I was a kid everyone used to make fun of my friends mam and he would just join in and agree with them, backboneless!! So while what he did was "wrong" in the teachers eyes, it's so nice that he's willing to stand up for his mam You've done so well, did you ever have any regrets about it?

Last night I swore blind to my DP that I would not be eating after 8pm in the evenings anymore. Had a little nap when he got in as i was exhausted. I woke up at 7.57pm No food for me tonight!! I'll really miss Diet Coke when the band goes in though!!

 

[penelope1008]

Daisy, I've no regrets since my op only that son felt he had to defend me causing a 1 day exclusion only that short a one as I was also undergoing investigations for a benign kidney tumour that could have resulted in the need to remove my tumour. Thankfully although the tumour was confirmed it is small enough to be monitored before they need to do that if it grows.
Thankfully if my kids have been embarrassed by me they have kept it to themselves. Hopefully now they can be proud of me. So far I'm down to 13st 6 lbs from just over 19st at my heaviest. 3st since I started the pre-op diet in late June. I have between 3 & 5st left to go to be within the optimum weight for my height,

 

[Daisyhappy!]

Well I kind of abandoned this diary because I just felt I had such a long time to wait, well not anymore! I'll be banded in 5 days!! I can't believe it!
Its my boyfriends birthday today and Im booking us a little break away in august for his pressie so Im hoping i can lose a good amount by then, obviously i know i won't be at goal but to feel comfortable in myself would be amazing!

Milk diet is going grand, giving up the cigs not so well

 

[afandou1999]

Wow thats fab news, hope all goes well and good luck.

 

[Tray3004]

Great news good luck hun x

Sent from my iPhone using WLSurgery

 

[inca10012]

Just wanted to say good luck, I have to wait until July for Banding, but can't wait.

 

[its ellen]

not long to go best of luck

 

[Daisyhappy!]

Well guys, as some of you may know from another thread, i had a bit of a wobble on the pre op :/ but onwards and downwards (weight wise) Im now back on track and so happy and FINALLY really really excited i could burst!! My provider is happy to go ahead as long as i get my bmi below 45 and as of today it is below! So happy.

I've had such a lovely day today, I brought my little one up to visit my friend and her two kids. I work full time and never get time off during the week but today i got to spend the whole day with my lovely girl. Im so so proud to be her mam, Im sitting here nearly crying just with pure love and happiness! The bad mam in me even wants to go up and wake her for some cuddles and to see her little tired face, don't worry i won't!

Loving this site so much now, nice not feeling totally alone with wls same my provider is fairly rubbish on support/contact!
X

 

[miserable]

Good luck and here to a speedy recovery and a great journey to a happy slim mummy

 

[Daisyhappy!]

Thanks mis.
It's the day Eek!!
Feeling so excited. I've been on here reading other banders diaries since 7am which has made me Walt to be a good diary keeper!
I've finally put a pic up which Im really nervous about, don't want to be spotted by anyone i know and haven't told about the band. Well hello person i know if you're reading!

I want this diary to be 100% honest so i will admit i had i cig this morning, HAD to put all gone now and i hope hope hope never to smoke again.

I cannot believe this day is here!
Bag isn't even packet yet ha, wish id had an early time. 1pm feels like a million years away. Im going in on my own, we've nobody to mind Carmie -my daughter- and i don't think the hospital is a place for babies. Will be very emotional leaving her and David -boyfriend-
It's funny i always refrained from using names, pictures etc but feck it, here i am, an open book!

 

[miserable]

I did it all on my own leaving OH and dog behind. You ll be fine they do look after you very well. Good luck and let us know how you get on xxx