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Have you told anyone you are having Surgery?

Ems73

New Member
My mum and my hubby know and thats it. I don't know why I just don't want people to know. How is everybody else approaching it?
 
My husband knows I'm going through the process, and once I have confirmation of a surgery date, I'll tell my parents, but other than that, like you, I don't really want anyone to know.


I guess there are a few reasons why;
  • it's no one's business but mine
  • I'm embarrassed to admit that I've let my weight get to the stage where surgical intervention is needed
  • The negative reaction to NHS funded surgery in the media has made me question the reactions of friends/people I know.
 
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Hi I told every one coz if there was ever a problem while I'm at work they would be able to tell the hospital
I got a really positive response from people good luck xx
 
:D apart from everyone on here... only my partner, John, and my daughter know my intentions. as above, no one elses business and the negative reactions etc etc Ive listened to people talking about the biggest loser on tv and they are just sleighting them! most people dont understand the problems we have with losing weight and never will. and WLS is looked upon as the easy way out, which I know it most certainly is not!!!
 
I told everyone, I know what you mean about the reasons you would rather keep it private but I think Ive just got to an age where I think ........ this is me and I dont really care what anyone else thinks (apart from my immediate family). I havnt had any negative reactions to date but Im sure I will one day........Oh well Ill deal with it when it happens :D XX
 
I am sure some people would see it as cheating.
 
Im sure they do, you only have to read some of the stories in the papers and the comments people make about them. At the end of the day, we know the truth......its not an easy way and its not cheating :D XX
 
I told a few trusted people beforehand but not until shortly before starting my pre-op diet. Afterwards I told some people depending on whether they asked me outright, what our relationship was, how I gauged they "needed to know", or how I thought they might react. It was gut feelings mostly. As time has gone on I've been far more open, including admitting I've had WLS to those I never told in the earlier stages, as the benefits are now so plain to see. Some worked it out for themselves as the weight loss happened after a spell in hospital, although a couple were concerned whether it was a result of illness (eg: cancer). Also, I am inherently honest and find it difficult to tell an alternative story confidently ! I've been lucky in not having to deal with any openly negative reactions from people. A couple were a bit neutral and they were people who themselves have a weight problem and have tried losing it the conventional way.

It's a tricky route and only you will know what feels right. Good luck ! xx
 
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as i cant work at the moment, i didnt have to decide whether or not to tell colleagues or not. but i openly told and discussed it with anyone else, i only had positive reactions from all my family and friends. i think it helped being advised by my spinal surgeon to have a bypass, i would never have even thought about it, but i need a spinal op quite badly, so i didnt really have a choice. but even if the c ircumstances had been different i would have felt the same. i think there will always be some narrow minded ppl. we just have to shut our ears to them.
 
I can understand you Em., I've only told a handful of people and never discuss my weight, only with my hubby and one sister. I'm private really as a person.

I've found a great deal of support and encouragement on here from everyone and it has carried me through.

I'm not going to go into my private business about my wls unless I feel comfortable to do it and if anyone tells me I've lost weight, I'm just going to say 'thank you'.. my immediate family, son, hubby, one sister, a few close friends know about me, I don't see everyone else so often and I don't tell neighbours I'm friendly with these types of things... so it's my choice, I may feel different later on but doubt it because I'm quite a private person... we all have different feelings on this matter.

Love and hugs Angel xxx
 
I have told alot of my family and some friends about it and have had mostly positive reactions about it.

To be honest i couldnt careless about what other people think about what im doing. As long as my husband and myself are happy then thats all that matters, but it is nice to have other members of my family positively happy about it.

I have recently become a party consultant for Ann Summers and PartyLite so i have told my team managers also.
 
Only my immediate family know. That really was only for safety- I didn't want to tell some of them either!

I didn't feel that I was in the right place emotionally to hear all of the opinions from other people. I also didn't want it to be the constant topic of conversation both to my face and behind my back- which it seems to be amongst the family members who do know!

It has now got to the point that if any one else found out they would be hurt or upset that i didn't tell them-so they are not to find out.
 
I personally have told everyone I feel needs to know (and i'm sure they have told everyone else) but to be honest I have had nothing but possitive support from everyone.

My friends, family and colleagues who care about me all know how long I have struggled with my weight and all know the ill effects it has had on my health, Obviously they are all worried for me regarding the surgery but I know I have a great support network.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do, you always have the support from everyone on here even if you decide to tell anybody else xxx
 
Told everyone, that way everyone can help me and I don't have to lie to anyone and possibly get found out a different way.
 
i have told everyone i NEED and WANT to tell, only found one person to be very negative towards me, my reply was ..... its my choice, they dont know what its like to be me, therefore please dont judge me..... as i am a nurse, everyone i work with have been positive, but like most other people you need to judge who needs to know and why they need to know
 
I have told my husband and children as well as a few friends. I have one friend who is against it and she claims I am not heavy enough for that and she isnt either and she is heavier than I am!
 
Hi! I was suposed to have survery 2 years before I did, & I told lots of ppl. Then when I didn't have surgery, its a long story but basically my dr quit & left a bunch of us in limbo, when ppl would ask what happened I felt stupid & it brought up all the disappointment, sadness & anger I had.
When I decided to go somewhere else (another town) & have it done I didn't tell anyone but my honey, son & mom.
When I actually got a date for my surgery I told a few close family members. But word spreads like wild fire....I'm getting ppl on Face Book asking how I am doing....kind of fustrating since I think anything to do with health is private & I would have liked only the ppl I wanted to tell to know, but now its out there. Most of my friends don't know, but ALL of my family (even distant relatives) seem to have heard.
Everyone has been supportive & caring so that's good.
Anyways that's my story :)
 
I told everyone I know and loads of people I don't know "the staff and any customers in earshot round the co-op, people i meet at the car-boot sale, anyone at the bus stop, etc etc). The funding issue's don't bother me either, because i would proberly have to have a triple heart bypass (both my sisters have had triple heart by-passes) some time in the future if i didn't have WLS, so in my thinking I have saved NHS a lot of money.
 
My husband knows as does my best friend (who had the op last year), and both are supportive. but i have not mentioned it to my three children. I told my mum what i was thinking of doing when i started the ball rolling two years ago and she virtually begged me not to have it done, so i have not mentioned it since. I have not mentioned it to any work colleagues, but they do know i am regularly seeing the dietician.
 
I told everyone that would listen, I was so excited pre op that I was making this big change in my life and I wanted it out in the open as that would encourage me to make sure that I used the tool properly.

I do understand why some people would want to keep it to themselves, but for me its worked really well to have support from everywhere I go.
 
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