Have you told anyone you are having Surgery?

[Nickynoodles]

I tell everyone who will listen, im so excited i cant help it

Nicky xx

 

[jayney]

i agree with the general advice here as it is a very personnal matter. I didnt tell anyone for a long time apart from my husband and my daughter but as time drew nearer and I gained confidence in what I was doing I actually decided to tell everyone if the conversation came up. Like most people say here the response was in the whole very very positive and supportive ...people said I deserved it as theyd seen me battle with my weight over the years, one lady said she was thrilled for me as it would allow my exterior to be as lovely as my interior (awww ) and lots more comments like that. I did get some negativity but on the whole it was usually handled by someone else in the discussion and didnt need a word from me!!

Having people know did actually make my time off work easier etc but its not an easy dilemma for you xx

Jayne

 

[jo86]

I didn't want people knowing at first just my partner and mum.

Then i thought what the hell can't give me more grief than i get now so everyone knows and i don't feel embarassed anymore

 

[KaeKaysMom]

When you tell people they compare you to others and have this expectation of what you should be doing or eating. I only told a few close friends and family and my husband.

 

[vicky x]

I've only told my mum, sister and husband (My children are way too young to know.) yesterday I told my bestest friend yesterday but she didn't say too much, not sure if that's a good thing or not!!
I am worried about the funding issue, my husband keeps telling me that I've paid my taxes and I'm entitled to the nhs as much as the next person! If I had the money I'd go private tomorrow.
I think after surgery I'll be honest and tell people if they ask but until then it's a need to know kind of thing!

 

[DaisyMaesy]

I have only told my hubby. The day I go into hospital I will tell my daughter. I have met lovely people on here and speak to them it is all I need at the moment. I am a little superstitious that if I tell people beforehand it may go wrong and not happen (I'm the same with job applications). No doubt i will shout it from the rooftops the other side of surgery!

 

[Alex1977]

I have told my mum dad hubby and brother and Sis in law. As there has been a lot in the news about obesity and surgery I've felt compelled to keep quiet and not listen to any negative comments. I am feeling excited at the minute and don't wish for any friends or acquaintance to pass judgement on something they probably know nothing about. People can be so judgemental and don't really know what most of us have gone through and why we are overweight and our own personal reason for having surgery that why I have kept quiet.xx

 

[NorthShore]

I've told most people who are close to me, with some exceptions. The biggest reason I wouldn't tell some people is that I've spent a YEAR deciding to do it, I've heard all the negativity and I don't want to hear people try to talk me out of it. Sadly I know they would try... I figure once I do it they won't have much to say...

The ones I debated the most were my parents because I didn't want them to worry. But I told them and they were actually relieved!

 

[dawny]

i basically told my family, and anyone else if it came up in conversation, but my circumstances were slightly different, i desperately need another spinal op, and my surgeon needed me to lose as much weight as possible, so the recomendation came from him, it sort of took the pressure off me. although they were concerned, i had nothing but total support from my family and anyone else who knew.

 

[NorthShore]

Dawny, that's great! So glad you have so many supportive people around you!

When I went to my dr. I pretty much had to talk him into it... I laid it out for him: 1) type 2 diabetes requiring insulin 2) sleep apnea 3) high cholesterol 4) knee pain. And I have tried like mad to do it the "old fashioned" way. He caved and referred me... But it has been a LOT of work getting to having it done next week. I'm scared witless but excited... For the first time in a very long time I feel hopeful about having a great ACTIVE life.

 

[mandymoo]

I'm in the process of telling people now as hopefully will have it done in April - had some positive, a lot of negative and some neutral. The problem is some think it's an easy way out, if only they knew other who I thought would be supportive ain't?? Strange as my dad who was totally against it has seen how down I am & has turned full circle even giving money towards it bless. Hubby does tend to kept things close to his chest but has now said how worried he is about me having the band as we have 2 small children & he doesn't want to loose me, I have taped the biggest loser for him to watch so he understands what's it like (as I cried all through it last night as I can so relate to their reasons lol). It's a big decision & you always hope all your loved ones will be on the journey with you but I suppose some will & for those who don't agree then do they really know you & understand what it's like xx

 

[mandymoo]

Dawny, that's great! So glad you have so many supportive people around you!

When I went to my dr. I pretty much had to talk him into it... I laid it out for him: 1) type 2 diabetes requiring insulin 2) sleep apnea 3) high cholesterol 4) knee pain. And I have tried like mad to do it the "old fashioned" way. He caved and referred me... But it has been a LOT of work getting to having it done next week. I'm scared witless but excited... For the first time in a very long time I feel hopeful about having a great ACTIVE life.

Good luck for next week xx

 

[shannon_hilder]

I'm in the process of telling people now as hopefully will have it done in April - had some positive, a lot of negative and some neutral. The problem is some think it's an easy way out, if only they knew other who I thought would be supportive ain't?? Strange as my dad who was totally against it has seen how down I am & has turned full circle even giving money towards it bless. Hubby does tend to kept things close to his chest but has now said how worried he is about me having the band as we have 2 small children & he doesn't want to loose me, I have taped the biggest loser for him to watch so he understands what's it like (as I cried all through it last night as I can so relate to their reasons lol). It's a big decision & you always hope all your loved ones will be on the journey with you but I suppose some will & for those who don't agree then do they really know you & understand what it's like xx

i completely agree with you, that is exactly how i feel and my situation... thank you for making me feel like i am not the only one, and good luck with your surgery and your new journey xx

 

[blueeyes]

I have told all my close friends and family before the surgery. I haven't had a single negative response (to my face anyway). At work I have kept it on a need to know basis, so my boss and one or two close friends know, that's it. I didn't want everyone else to know about something so personal. I am not that private a person and am happy to talk about my personal life at work but I felt this was a little too much information for colleagues. Plus, I didn't want to be observed whilst eating at work! People are somewhat fascinated with this surgery, especially if they don't know much about it. And I didn't want to be the centre of attention at lunchtime or in the canteen, and be talked about all the time.

 

[LET.ME.OUT.OF.THIS.BODY]

i have told everyone i NEED and WANT to tell, only found one person to be very negative towards me, my reply was ..... its my choice, they dont know what its like to be me, therefore please dont judge me..... as i am a nurse, everyone i work with have been positive, but like most other people you need to judge who needs to know and why they need to know

Hi Shannon, i too am a nurse and in a way i think that is making it harder for me to tell anyone my intention. i am worried that they will judge me and think that being a health professional i should not of allowed myself to get into this state in the first place. i have told two very close friends who i know i can trust but i am dreading telling my mum who has been a size 10-12 her entire life and my husband who i think just wont understand that i need to do this. its a tough call. i dont want to lie to people but at the same time i dont want to tell anyone. One of my biggest worries is work, i have assumed from posts i have read that you get an average of four weeks notice of your op date is that right? i have two options i can take planned sick leave or holidays but if i use holidays in an attempt to keep my secret i would need to request the time off well in advance where as if its planned sick leave i will just inform my boss when i get a surgery date but would rather not have told her. did anyone else have this dilema? and how long did you take off work? x

 

[jayney]

From another NHS Worker ..

I was working for a PCT at the time so like you considered the holiday versus sick leave debate but by the time I had my operation date (I had around 12 weeks notice) I had really come to terms with the fact that this was a real stage in my life that would mean a total new start. I waited until I'd had my pre-op assessments then went in to chat to my manager who was one of the directors. She was absolutely positive about the whole thing as the majority of people were and I took 3 weeks sick leave without a jot of guilt.

I had enough confidence to tell my whole team of staff about my surgery prior to me going off sick and I honestly feel that in my case that made my return to work easier.

Ive gone on to continue to lose weight and am a different person to the one I was for years. Ive passed the expected weight loss threshold that the NHS use as a marker of surgery success (65% of excess weight from day of surgery to 2 year point for the Gastric Sleeve although the % varies for other procedures) and so although I am still so grateful I got this via the NHS I have some satisfaction knowing I've kept up my side of the bargain as well ..... and I'm not yet 1 year post surgery

Hope this helps

Jayne

 

[wencho]

ive only told my partner and kids...my parents,my inlaws and a few close friends....im not certain ive got the op yet til i see surgeon so i dont want to broadcast something that may not happen for me to have to explain if and why it went wrong to other people....when i get the YES i hope for then i might tell a few more people..or maybe not..might be nice just to see reactions haha

 

[mariew]

I've told the whole world. Obly had one negative comment and that was from an elderly man who was not even in the conversation, just eaves dropping. He tapped me on the arm and said he could tell me how to lose weight. "Eat less and do some exercise" I thanked him and said gosh, I never knew that!
I am not ashamed that I'm having surgery, I am however ashamed that I got to the size where it was necessary.

 

[Heah]

I've told people that I'm hoping to have a bypass, after the initial shock they have all been really supportive...

 

[Kath in Buxton]

I've told quite a few people since I started planning for it 3 years ago. Now it's just 2 weeks away I've actually put something on facebook. To be honest, most people on there have ignored it, with just one or 2 comments. My husband is fully supportive, and does everything he can to help me, my sons and my step daughters are curious about whats involved and what I can eat later, my parents are worried. They think of it as unnecessary to undergo major surgery when I'm not actually ill as such. And my sister and her partner are trying to jump through enough hoops to allow them to have it themselves!! So anything I can tell them of my experience is beneficial to them at this stage. Although we will be under different health authorites.