help need for friend thinking of going for surgery

[mandye]

Hi all I have a friend who is going to see a surgeon to talk about having wls ,now I have nothing against this way of doing things but she hasnt tried anything else I do mean nothing she believes that this is a quick fix .I have tried to tell her this is for the rest of her life but she just laughs and says she cant stop eating what she wants so this is the answer .I believe this way is more of a last stop not the first sorry if this upsets anyone but I think she needs to sort her head out first before comiting her self to this .
I dont want to stop her just get her to understand what she is doing she really believes this is the easy option .
Any advise for her for or against her doing this will be greatfully recieved

 

[elffie01]

Show her this site and let her read the diaries. She will soon realise that its not a quick fix, far from it.

Depending on her PCT and the way they work she might have to go through a Weight Loss Management system for 6 - 12 months prior to being referred.
http://www.minimins.com/surgical-weight-loss/66792-nhs-funding-surgery-where-start.html this thread will tell you about the NICE criteria.

Theres so many different things that can relate to how she can get referred. Eg. some GP's wont refer anyone until they are sure all avenues of weight loss have been covered, some like I said above want you to go through 6 mths weight loss management and then the clinic will refer.
All gp's / PCT's are different in thier aprroach to it. But there are NICE guidlines for each PCT that you might want to point her to.

Im 99% sure she wont find it an easy option in any shape or form, from referral to op nothing about the process is easy. But it will make her think about it and in that time she should research what she is actually getting herself into.

WLS is for life not for Christmas...or any other season for that matter.

 

[Caroline101061]

There is a good chance that with her weight history, she might be turned down - they may very well ask her to lose weight by different means first. How ridiculous to think this is a quick fix - its a last resort not a quick fix. You have done incredibly well on the cambridge diet - surprised she hasnt followed your lead. She needs to ask lots of questions and really read up on things.

 

[Big an Bouncy]

Got to agree with Elffie,Unless she goes privately your friend has a good wait on her hands and even fighting for the surgery if her PCT are strict.I have done 12 months wlm,all diets,all drugs,exersize on prescription etc.My bmi is 45 and I have to have co morbidities with that before I can be considered.Some areas bmi has to be 50 or60!Nhs wont consider her till she applies,shows she has tried every way to lose weight,goes on weight management for at least 6 months,had phsych evaluation,sleep tests,blood tests,bp checked and colesterol.Family history past/present illness.Otherwise its about 5 to 7k for a band and 7 to 10k for a bypass privately.What does she weigh and what is her bmi and which PCT is she under?
I have been waiting 16months and funding hasnt even been applied for yet,if its knocked back I will appeal but that all takes time.Maz x

 

[tesmaralda]

There are very strict criteria that each pct have to abide by and it is to be used as a last resort and not as a first port of call. It is in no way an easy journey both physically or mentally. She needs to research the options and read not just about the journeys that have been fairly straight forward but also the journeys that have been tough and have had some severe complicantions and even those ones that have been fatal. Hope you can talk to friend and even maybe show her some posts on here, especially the ones where the ops have not quiet gone to plan.x

 

[phatmomma]

I think the best advice is to tell her to get herself on here and check out not only the success but also the hard stories like Bonita's journey etc xx

 

[Mark01/05/2009]

I agree with whats been written above! Unless she is to go private, she is unlikely to be accept for surgery due to the strict rules PCTs have to follow.

If she did choose to spend the £10K to have it done privately, she must realise that by no means is this a quick fix. This op does take over your life and you have to carefully consider the food and drink you take in, more so than when on any other diet.

She is just getting caught up in the success of some of us post oppers.

Tell her a bypass or band isnt just for Christmas, its for life!!!

Does she realise she will no longer be able to eat fatty foods, sugary foods, drink fizzy drinks, comfort eat or eat more than a small portion of food???

I would honestly encourage her to read Bonitas story, this isnt always plain sailing!!!

 

[swizzlestick]

Hi Mandye

If you are worried that your friend is being a little impulsive, nhs waiting times will soon sort that out lol.

It is nice that you are concerned for her but by the time she has been made to jump through all the hoops, and unless she is going private, there are LOTS of them, she will know exactly what is involved.

The best advise you can give her like others have said is to come on here and take a look around.

 

[Gail-michelle]

I researched for 3 years about WLS and believe me it isnt the easy way out. I think its in the same par as a strict diet to be honest. The difference being on a diet you can cheat!! but with WLS you cant even do that! as you would be realy poorly if you did :9529:. So hand on heart it is sometimes very frustrating. Hope this helps Kind regards Gail.x

 

[fairyringuk]

Well like others have said Mandy your friend will have to meet criteria for surgery just like everyone else and that usually means having tried everything else first, I dont think it will be the breeze she might think.

Jay xx

 

[thinkbethin]

There is so much more to having the weight loss surgery than going to theatre. Pct,Gp's,sleep test, health tests,psyche tests and of course the checking of ways she has tried to lose weight before all this. Her Gp probably would'nt refer her till she's tried the weight loss meds and been to the weight loss management clinic. This is not a quick fix by no means and we have all risked our lifes having this op after all else has failed. If I had not tried everything else there is no way I would have put my family through the worry they went through. Put your friend on here and let her talk to those that have had a real bad time and maybe she'll realise what its all about. I think she has a good friend in you for even bothering to get her some help and advice so hopefully you will get through to her. Good luckxxx

 

[mandye]

Thank you for your quick responses I will try and get her to read the posts on here unfortunatly she is in a possition to go private and so she will not have to go through the NHS (I wish she would ) Im hoping that the private route has a bit more about it and they try to show her the true story of wls .Not heard from her today so dont know how the appointment went fingers crossed they gave her some real info and she is thinking it through a bit more now .

 

[Neen]

I went private and I can remember my surgery team really putting me through the wringer regarding my long term comittment to eating healthy and my having to recount everything I had done up to that point to lose weight. Paying privately is no guarantee that you will get surgery anyway as If I had not met their criteria mentally and physically I would have been refused treatment.
I was hoping it would work automatically for me because I was having so much stress in other areas of my life but think again! I am having to work HARD to get this off and it's not quick, I would say I'm losing 2lb max most weeks but the bariatric team looking after me are pleased with the steady loss and even said that they would be looking for my weight loss to be over a period of about 4 years to be safe and effective long term. You can still fail with a band or bypass because part of the deal is changing your bad habits to ensure success. She needs to drop the attitude she has now or it won't work anyway.

 

[Lostinmy30's]

I would suggest this forum then leave her be tbh. I had a friend go crazy at me when I was referred but am in a completely different boat from your friend. I have tried everything going and have spent over a year researching this before even approaching my GP.
My point is all this is something your pal has to work out for herself and you trying to make her see sense will probably make her go real stubborn and resentful - I know believe me.
It's lovely you care so much for her but she's gotta see the light herself hun xx good luck xx just tell her your there for her no matter what.