Help please!

[Purple Sparkle]

Hi everyone

I need a serious kick up the bum please, and I know you lovely folks on here will help me out.

It’s my 3 month anniversary today and I have lost 2 stone 6lb, which I am pleased with, BUT just over 1st of it was on pre op. I went on holiday in July and managed to put on weight – have now lost it, but not lost anything else, so I am where I was 5 weeks ago!! :sigh:

I am making rubbish food choices at the minute and have not got my exercise and activity sorted yet, very hit and miss and I know it’s entirely my fault and I know exactly what I need to do so ‘WHY CAN’T I DO IT???!!!’ – Seriously – if I could slap myself I would!!

Am booked in to see dietician and have another fill on 9th Sept, but it seems ages away.

Anyhow – rant over for the time being – but any help would be much appreciated.

Thanks everyone

Justine x

 

[Peterborough Guy]

Hi everyone

I need a serious kick up the bum please, and I know you lovely folks on here will help me out.

It’s my 3 month anniversary today and I have lost 2 stone 6lb, which I am pleased with, BUT just over 1st of it was on pre op. I went on holiday in July and managed to put on weight – have now lost it, but not lost anything else, so I am where I was 5 weeks ago!! :sigh:

I am making rubbish food choices at the minute and have not got my exercise and activity sorted yet, very hit and miss and I know it’s entirely my fault and I know exactly what I need to do so ‘WHY CAN’T I DO IT???!!!’ – Seriously – if I could slap myself I would!!

Am booked in to see dietician and have another fill on 9th Sept, but it seems ages away.

Anyhow – rant over for the time being – but any help would be much appreciated.

Thanks everyone

Justine x

You don't need a kick up the bum, because you know you've done wrong.

You know what you need to do, the question is, why aren't you prepared to do it?

 

[Purple Sparkle]

You don't need a kick up the bum, because you know you've done wrong.

You know what you need to do, the question is, why aren't you prepared to do it?

I suppose that is the million dollar question - thanks for taking the time to reply.

 

[top_kat]

Im on my iPad which is hard to type responses so am going to come back with some thoughts later when I have a normal keyboard at my fingertips

Just a thought and a question - are there things underlying where you are right now? Are you facing difficulties in life in general? Do you think you are trying to sabotage your own weight loss? I find it hard when I've failed to keep weight of before that if I do put weight back on then those feelings of déjà vu kick in....

I've just returned from holiday having put on 8lb and my head isn't in a great place, emotionally I've always then turned to food, but not being able to (altho I can due to no restriction) brings up a lot of feelings of frustration, anger even. I can't see that I've lost 10 stone, I can't see that I've dropped 9 dress sizes all I an see right now is those 8
Lbs I've put on - you get the feelings of failure creeping in, and entering the vicious circle of facing emotions you've had all those times before....and those feelings are super hard to deal with.

 

[Purple Sparkle]

Im on my iPad which is hard to type responses so am going to come back with some thoughts later when I have a normal keyboard at my fingertips

Just a thought and a question - are there things underlying where you are right now? Are you facing difficulties in life in general? Do you think you are trying to sabotage your own weight loss? I find it hard when I've failed to keep weight of before that if I do put weight back on then those feelings of déjà vu kick in....

I've just returned from holiday having put on 8lb and my head isn't in a great place, emotionally I've always then turned to food, but not being able to (altho I can due to no restriction) brings up a lot of feelings of frustration, anger even. I can't see that I've lost 10 stone, I can't see that I've dropped 9 dress sizes all I an see right now is those 8
Lbs I've put on - you get the feelings of failure creeping in, and entering the vicious circle of facing emotions you've had all those times before....and those feelings are super hard to deal with.

Hiya Top Kat

Thanks for your reply. Ironically, I am in the best place life wise I have been in a long time, yes, I have a few things on my mind, mother in law currently under going cancer treatment, job busy and hectic and sometime stressful, but nothing major and have got so much support from my other half, family and the few close friends I have told - I could not ask for more!

You mention sabotage, and yes, to a degree that's something I have considered. A couple of weeks ago all on the same day out of the blue about 6 different people at work mentioned that I looked like I had lost weight and complimented me. I am absolutely rubbish at accepting compliments - so I laughed it off - told them they must be mistaken and it was probably that I had done my hair differently - I really dislike any attention like that - I must be very strange!

Anyhow, I have spent a few hours going through old posts and diaries, especially yours - you have done and are doing fantastic and you must be so proud of yourself. Like you say, it's easy to forget to focus on what has been achieved and dwell and obsess about what we haven't. I need to re train my brain little by little until eventually it comes as second nature!

Hope you have had a good day and will hopefully catch up with you later

Justine x

 

[WitchInWorthing]

I think self sabotage can take lots of forms and not being able to accept the new attention from other people can be a really tough thing to work through - I lost 10 stone in my 20s and looking back, one of the main reasons I put it all back on was to get back to the 'devil I knew' when I understood how people would treat me, that I could go back to being invisible again.

of course, you could just be rebelling against the rules and having a food related temper tantrum (meant in a nice way) ... I want it so I will have it, don't tell me I can't sort of thing? bad habits don't go away meekly and willingly, they have to be booted out and told to go!

You know in your head what to do, get some support from friends and family - my OH is pretty good at giving me 'the look' when I ask him to be the conscience on my shoulder prodding me when I want to be allowed to be naughty.

No one is forcing you to eat the wrong things, you are choosing to ... take each meal one at a time, plan your food and stick to it and watch the weight come off...

I am not great at doing the kick up the bum thing as I like being nice to people, but hopefully this has helped a little bit... you can do it, you just need to allow yourself to do it!

xxxx

 

[Loppie]

Now i'm one to talk! lol but, people don't tend to say nice things to other people unless they mean them. And maybe you need to practice saying, 'thank you, I have lost a bit of weight (and i'm fab!)'.

I have been watching the Jessie Pavelka programme, about people with obesity and one episode in particular was interesting. A woman stated that she was scared of what would be left after she lost her weight. She would actually find out who she was and she could'nt hide behind her weight anymore. She wasn't sure of who she would be and you could sense there was some reluctance in finding out the answer as it's scary. It makes sense to me, I don't know if it offers any help to you.

You will get back on track, just don't beat yourself up too much in the process xx

 

[Purple Sparkle]

I think self sabotage can take lots of forms and not being able to accept the new attention from other people can be a really tough thing to work through - I lost 10 stone in my 20s and looking back, one of the main reasons I put it all back on was to get back to the 'devil I knew' when I understood how people would treat me, that I could go back to being invisible again.

of course, you could just be rebelling against the rules and having a food related temper tantrum (meant in a nice way) ... I want it so I will have it, don't tell me I can't sort of thing? bad habits don't go away meekly and willingly, they have to be booted out and told to go!

You know in your head what to do, get some support from friends and family - my OH is pretty good at giving me 'the look' when I ask him to be the conscience on my shoulder prodding me when I want to be allowed to be naughty.

No one is forcing you to eat the wrong things, you are choosing to ... take each meal one at a time, plan your food and stick to it and watch the weight come off...

I am not great at doing the kick up the bum thing as I like being nice to people, but hopefully this has helped a little bit... you can do it, you just need to allow yourself to do it!

xxxx

Thanks for your reply Witch x

I am taking it one day at a time and have been great this last couple of day. Got into a size smaller jeans today as well so that is very motivational and has spurred me on again.

Once again, thanks for replying

Justine x

 

[Purple Sparkle]

Now i'm one to talk! lol but, people don't tend to say nice things to other people unless they mean them. And maybe you need to practice saying, 'thank you, I have lost a bit of weight (and i'm fab!)'.

I have been watching the Jessie Pavelka programme, about people with obesity and one episode in particular was interesting. A woman stated that she was scared of what would be left after she lost her weight. She would actually find out who she was and she could'nt hide behind her weight anymore. She wasn't sure of who she would be and you could sense there was some reluctance in finding out the answer as it's scary. It makes sense to me, I don't know if it offers any help to you.

You will get back on track, just don't beat yourself up too much in the process xx

Hi Loppie

Thanks for your reply - I have been watching that same programme - did you see the one this week with the lady doing the triathalons? I was sat in tears at the end - her determined mind set was unbelievable and I was shouting at the telly 'you go on girl!'.

I can't remember what it feels like to be normal after being overweight since I was 20, gosh, over half of my life I have been this way, so I can relate to the fear of the unknown. So many things get blamed on weight issues, so if the weight has gone what is there to use?

I am going to take your advice though, and practice the 'thank you, I have lost a bit of weight!' reply!

Justine x

 

[Dandelions]

Think self sabotage is really interesting to study. It's amazing what we do and the lengths we go to when we follow our lives like we've been given a script and have to stick to the lines written for us, usually by our parents. So we get scared to change things because we don't know what will happen and of course we still have that 'do as your told' thing going on.

I'm a bit of an old lady now but as the eldest of three girls I was and always have been the overweight one. Then we had the cute pretty dancing one and the willowy elegant one. This is how I was seen and identified myself but suddenly I've had an op to change things. The cute sister is slightly interested from a distance (no phonecall etc) and the elegant one is supportively sulking because she's scared of my change and how that affects her.

Interesting innit