How did you convince the doubters???

[Meggie]

I told my Mum about my decision to have the bypass over Xmas, and, thankfully, she has been extremely supportive so far. However, as we are getting closer and closer (39 days to go......oooooer!!!) she seems to be less and less sure of my decision. What things did you do to help ease the concerns your loved ones had?? My Mum is a born worrier, which is where I get it from, so I don't think things will change much! But thought I'd see if anyone had any fantastic suggestions on how I could try at least!!!

Thanks!

 

[SOON SLIM SUE]

I let my hubby read a few threads on here and i showed him some befor and after pics. It didn't take long for him to come round to our way of thinking.

 

[Tyraboots]

The only member of my family totally against my decision was my Dad. We watched Fat Doctors a few times, and |I think he is on board now.

 

[Andrea73]

When I first told my mum and dad about going for the op they just didn't understand. There way of coping with it was not to speak about it. I gave them the booklets from surgicare to read but I still do think they fully understand. Looking back I think they were just worried about me going for the op. It wasn't until I had the op that they understand why I needed to do it. My dad even spoke to my auntie (his sister) who has a massive weight problem herself and she explained what it is like being fat and the problems we face. It was then that he finally got his head round it.

Your mum will always worry until you have come safely out the other side and are a "loser". Basically just try and answer any questions she may have and try and explain that it is a very successful procedure.

Good luck with your op and the start of your new life.

 

[Bullyfun]

"if i dont i die"..... simples
worked for me

 

[Cuppacocoa]

My hubby was the only one whom had concerns at the beginning but I took him with to an appointment with the surgeon so he could hear everything for himself. He was much happier after that. And he's delighted now the weight is coming off and I'm smiling all the time!!

Cuppa xx

 

[dreamofbeingslim]

I think the problem is in the media all we hear about there is when things go wrong so that doesn't help. I try to point out what my gp said to tell them that if I stay like this then my health will only get worse. The thing I struggle to get through to people is that I am unable to loose weight by dieting any more, I struggle to stick with it. I am an all or nothing girl now I am better off not having anything like with the milk diet. In fact I am in 2 minds whether to try that again whilst I am waiting.

 

[emergingbutterfly]

I told my Mum about my decision to have the bypass over Xmas, and, thankfully, she has been extremely supportive so far. However, as we are getting closer and closer (39 days to go......oooooer!!!) she seems to be less and less sure of my decision. What things did you do to help ease the concerns your loved ones had?? My Mum is a born worrier, which is where I get it from, so I don't think things will change much! But thought I'd see if anyone had any fantastic suggestions on how I could try at least!!!

Thanks!

Well done for telling your Mum.

When I first told my Mam, I was surprised that she was supportive. I didnt tell her that I was actually going to have the surgery, I just mentioned I was researching it and speaking to the dr/hospital etc so I guess she had time to get used to the idea before my mind was finally made up.

What really did help though was when I took her to the information session at the hospital. I had been to this session a few months previously and when I went for my second appointment my mum came from Ireland to attend the info session on the same day. I think it really helped her to hear from the surgery/dr/etc about the ins and outs of the op and the benefits to my health etc. Also, she was impressed with the hospital and the team. I think it also helped her to know that I didnt make the decision lightly and that I did loads of research. I also provided her with leaflets and booklets from the hospital so the more she knew the better.

Once Mum was on board it was easy for the rest of the family to follow suite.

I think the more info your mum has the better for her. It is natural for mothers to worry, it just shows she cares

 

[tink75]

I was first approved for funding 3 years ago but NONE of my family supported me so I didn't go through with the surgery. Then 3 years later, 2 stones heavier and losing my mobility I suggested it again. This time they ALL supported me and said that it was not a rash decision and they were sure that I'd really thought about it. We did a lot of research so that we went into the surgery with our eyes wide open. My family have been my rock and after my complications I felt REALLY guilty and selfish but they were so supportive and explained that they knew the surgery had prolonged my life. I really hope you get the same support I did (but quicker than 3 years lol) xxx

 

[BlueDiamond]

Hi

How about getting ur mum involved as much as u can and give her information etc, most worrying and fretting is a mothers job, but tbh most ppl will worry wot they dont understand. HTH


All the best - MeJulie x x

 

[phatmomma]

When my mom thought i was going for a gastric band she was all super excited, when i told her NO its the bypass the excitement disappeared almost instantaneously... Not sure why, maybe she thinks its more dangerous, less successful... i don't know.

I just know that although she has worried about my weight for so many years i hear no enthusiasm when i tell her what's going on.. So i think, but not sure... That i won't tell her when my operation is, i'll leave a letter just in case but otherwise she will find out afterwards.....

 

[candie]

When I initially went to the doc to discuss WLS in july 2008 I told my Mum, and she was very supportive, as she knew I had tried literally every diet, pill, etc to lose weight and failed
I only told a couple of very close friends, my Daughter and my bro and they were all great about it, but my Daughter was worried I might die
To be honest I would've still had the op no matter what anyone said, and at 6.5 st down in 6 months i'm buzzing

 

[thinnerangela]

My mum -bless her - NEVER said anything - and still passes absolutely no comment about my weightloss!!

My mum-in-law was against it because of the risks and she didn't think I'd cope with not being able to eat normally (quantity and type of food)

BUT

All the way through MIL has supported me and has told me how proud she is of me and my weight loss and how well I have coped with it

My hubby and daughters have supported me throughout and have been STARS

You are having this op for you and your health - hopefully the doubters will be able to see this

BTW - my MIL has gold medals in worrying!!!

Angela

 

[marky v]

in honesty my other half was not 100% behind me when i made the decision to have WLS, but i knew i had to do it, i take after the women in my family, and both my mum and her mum died at 52 with blood pressure probs and heart probs, my mum had diabetes and was obese too, my little sister died at 24, was obese too, so at the age of 38, it was a no brainer, my surviving sister is going through the whole WLS procedure to help with her weight problems, put it this way, we're having elective surgery that could ultimately kill us on the table, but as the little phrase goes, the benefits far outweigh the risks, now i've had it done, i wouldn't change a thing about it, i would do this 100 times out 0f a 100 given the chance again and would recommend it to anyone with major weight problems, a side effect of me having surgery is that my other half has lost 6 stone sine August with diet and exercise, she, i quote 'didn't wanna be the fat bird with a thin bloke' and her other has lost 2 stone too!! she's glad i've had the surgery now tho cos of the benefits, ramble over with

 

[bungle1999]

i was super lucky. No-one doubted my decision but obviously had concerns. My husband was the main one but when he met my surgeon and was advised that I had already taken approx 15 years off my life at my (then) current weight he was shocked. he was reassured when the surgeon explained how he would help me claw that time back.
xx

 

[Meggie]

Thanks to everyone for their helpful and supportive comments!!! There is a support group a day before my op so I've decided to take my Mum there. As my Mum said tonight "I'll feel better once I have spoken to someone who has had the op and is alive"!!! She hasn't really spoken about it all much, not even to my sister, so I think it'd be good for her to speak to some people who have actually had the op and are happy with their decisions!!! She still thinks it's too drastic but is being very supportive, for which I will be eternally greatful!!!