How do I tell people?

[LucretiaUK]

I am always saddened by people who turn their backs on friends and colleagues just because they've decided to do something drastic about their health. Yes it's a big cost to the NHS but it massively outweighs the future cost of healthcare for the very overweight. Yes you could diet and exercise, no doubt we all lost a good bit on our pre-op regimes but the reason for the op is that these things didn't work, usually for most of a person's life.
Of course, you should choose carefully who gets told. I've told everyone except my Dad because I'm still unsure of his reaction. I'll get around to it when I next see him and he'll see the weight I've lost.
Good luck!

 

[LuLuXo]

Okay, thanks for advice guys. It all kicked off at dinner (ironically) today.
My mum started talking about how her friend at work hates eating and my sister was all like "I would rather be fat than not enjoy food, i mean, people who have WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY are crazy! its so so so dangerous and you cant eat ANYTHING afterwards, its a procedure for your whole life! who would do that??"
I said "well actually, its reversible and not that dangerous" and she totally jumped down my throat and just kept saying how it was such a stupid thing for anyone to do etc..

I HAVE NOW DECIDED I AM DEFO NOT GOING TO TELL HER. and whats more i feel really pissed off that i am going to have to lie. Why should i feel ashamed of something im doing to better my own life?? its my body! if my mum can be supportive, then why cant i tell my own sister?? I want to tell her but now know that if i tried it would turn something i want that is POSITIVE into something that is negative that i seriously just dont need!

ok, rant over. Im just annoyed that at a time like this when i want to focus on myself and my own future, i have to be worried about her and what she thinks. Does anyone have any advice?

sorry for the moan!

hope u are all well xx

 

[Daisy85]

Just my family best friend and a new friend that has had wls that know I have had it done. It's not a easy thing to keep secret but I'm hoping to. Xxx

 

[Yvessa]

Lu if your feeling brave ask her why she is saying that to you? It sounds like you want to tell her so maybe even start with I was upset by our conversation because blah blah blah.

It is your choice whther to tell someone but from your posts it sounds as though you want to. Her reaction may well be bad. Chances are if your close it will change with time.

 

[LuLuXo]

Thanks, now i have cooled off a bit i do realise that i will have to tell her and at the end of it all, even if she doesnt respect my decision she still needs to accept that its my body and my choice, i am an adult after all. thanks for all advice xx

 

[top_kat]

The only people who know are my son and also my Aunt because she took me to the hospital! If my Mum were still alive I would have told her . . .however no-one else knows, not my Stepdad, brother, sister or anything else, even though we see them regularly, they just think I'm losing weight, which I am. Even people at work do not know, they think I had time off for a private abdominal surgery, and although one has apparently "guessed" and suggested it to another colleague, they still don't actually know.

It isn't any of their business and as they have seen me go up and down in weight over the 11 years I've worked here, they will simply think its just another one of those times

 

[Gillykit]

I told my parents who were 'mortified' and refused to talk about it, although they finally accepted it was my decision and had certainly not been made on a whim, so supported me through my time in hospital and immediately afterwards. They have stated they will never publicly acknowledge my WLS and I respect this - when out for a walk immediately post-surgery they explained my stay with them was due to me having had my gallbladder out - true, but not the whole truth! I spent a long time before my op talking to my dad about why I was going through with the surgery, and whilst he now understands my reasons and did not appreciate how much obesity had affected my life, he still refuses to accept WLS as an acceptable route for losing weight. My sister on the other hand was extremely vile and was quite nasty about it. She didn't even ring me before or during my hospital stay and when I first saw her a couple of days after my op announced that now I had had this 'ridiculous operation' could we not mention it again. My best mate thinks its because she has always been the thinner sister and that may change, but that's her issue not mine! I also told my four closest friends and they have been nothing but supportive and they've had to get used to our nights out no longer revolving around food and alcohol, (for me anyway!) so are adjusting to my new life too. I have told a few more friends since my op and have had no negative comments as they have all seen me struggle with my weight over the years, and even when they say they wouldn't have gone down that route themselves have fully understood my reasons. It's a strange journey along this WLS path, and will certainly have its ups and downs but I honestly wish I'd done it years ago so I wish you all the best of luck lovely xx

 

[LuLuXo]

Thanks so much, i think ill tell her after its been done so she cant bring me down about it, and then she will just have to come round to the idea.. i mean, its not like i will beable to unmake the decision once the band is in place! thanks so much for advice, really comforting to know that im not the only one who has these issues!!
xx

 

[SAS1]

I haven't told anyone other than my family, everyone in work thinks I am sunning myself on a beach in Turkey lol!
It's your private business so don't feel obliged to tell anyone. I'm going to take an old slimming world directory into work and get it out of my drawer every now and again, they'll all presume I'm on "yet another" diet x