I am sorry ...

[cah-ching]

.... if my own hang ups and frustrations have made people "angry" or I have come across as a moaning minnie. Last week I was absolutey at my wits end with frustration as I thought I was going about things correctly but no seeing results.

That said I didn't give up and stuff myself with chocolate (mainly because I don't really like chocolate).

Yes I can wallow in my own self-pity sometimes. Yes I do come across as moany and dare I say some of you probably think I spend my time thinking that I stuff my face full of bad stuff then come on here and complain about my lack of weight-loss.

The band IS a tool ... and once the tool is in full operation I expect to see results. No one forced me to have the band .... no I never really wanted the bypass (although wanted the results ) I was quite taken with the sleeve but having sought advice many times, I was advised with the band - no one tied me down to the operating table stuck a needle in my hand, put me to sleep and slit my belly open.

I will stick at it ... and I must give it my best shot ... 6 months isn't my best shot and I know this and to be fair my restriction hasn't really been there until the last 6 weeks or so.

Whilst some may get angry with my posts I hope they serve to demonstrate the highs and lows that come with having a band.

We aren't all perfect. We are .. or at least I am human and have emotions. I am not an idiot I know Rome was not built in a mere day - however I do have high expectations of myself ... may be I ought to tone those down a little.

No man is an island ... so please do not forget this.

Support is not silent, self-righteous, sanctimonious indignation. Nor is support only posting about ones achievements and then expecting a pat on the back Support is a whole lot more .. a culmination of the aforementioned, sound, rational advice, hints tips and useful opnions.
In the main I get that here from a lovely section of the WLSurgery community. Get as angry, upset, apoplectic as you wish .... I'll continue on my journey, offer support when and where I can ---- on the exercise section, WLS section etc. ... (I am a giver and a taker).

I hope I haven't offended anyone here ... just clearing out cobwebs.

Onwards and downwards folks.

 

[Neen]

You are going to do it hun! And we'll keep trying till we find the best combination for you!
I have been in exactly the same frame of mind before on here too..(my shoulda hadda bypass thread etc)
and felt isolated as well..but hey ho....we all cope in the best way that we can and most often come out the other side of a downer fighting.

I want to help you succeed because doing that helps me succeed as well.
At the end of the day the fat is our common enemy x

 

[Mixman]

No matter what you write down it doesn't matter.

Everyone is not going to agree with you or your own decisions. There are threads that make me angry but I've not particularly mentally logged anyones name.

If they do make me annoyed, I'll not reply straight away because I am very aware that people come here, and other forums I visit, and write things down because they are unhappy and they want help. No one should be discouraged from typing anything just because they may upset someone.

If I do see something that I don't like but I want to reply, I'll try and do so tactfully.

People come here and type down problems, when they are happy, when they are excited and I'd be very dissapointed if people came and didn't type down exactly how they feel.

We ALL need someone there to sound off about different problems. Whether right or wrong, get it wrote down. Sharing leads to caring! xx

 

[cah-ching]

You are going to do it hun! And we'll keep trying till we find the best combination for you!
I have been in exactly the same frame of mind before on here too..(my shoulda hadda bypass thread etc)
and felt isolated as well..but hey ho....we all cope in the best way that we can and most often come out the other side of a downer fighting.

I want to help you succeed because doing that helps me succeed as well.
At the end of the day the fat is our common enemy x

Hi Neen,

It's funny because back in Jan I never ever wanted a bypass. I wanted a band, but then had reservations and figured the sleeve was the happy medium although I was still leaning towards the band. lol. Ultimately I chose the band. So I'm going to work with it. IF, IF three years from now I've not lost weight but have followed the rules then I will seek alternative help. In the meantime the world is my oyster and I'm in great shape healthwise.

I've been annoyed at the isolation and the territorialism and the sanctimony. However I can't blame everyone there have been some lovely people who give of themselves and do not just post to moan or boast - so for that I am truly truly truly grateful.

We're gonna do this ... in fact Neen you've already done it ... 100+Ibs is NOT in ANYWAY shape or form there to be scoffed at. We have just gott to keep doing what we're doing.

!!!!!!!We Can Do It Too!!!!!!!

 

[dawny]

hi cc huni, i hope your feeling better today. when your feeling as down as you have, its hard to try and say and do positive things, the only time you can do that is when your mood starts to lift, then when u see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel, your mood and demeaner will start to be a bit more positive. i know im not a bander, but to a certain extent i can understand how frustrating it is to be so desperate to see the scales move, when they just wont.
as has been said before, and i think youve addressed this now, it didnt seem as though you were eating enough, and were exercising a lot, maybe this was wrong, but its worth a try eating a bit more, it will either work or it wont, if it dosnt, then we look for something else. your not on your own huni, there are a lot of ppl rooting for you, me for one. you help ppl such a lot, and in turn its only fair, that when you need help, we are here to give what we can.
i really hope that your mood continues to lift, and you start to feel better about yourself. your a beautiful person.
great big positive hugs n snuggles xxxx

 

[gaelic girl]

We wouldn't be very supportive if we weren't here for each other in both the good times and the bad. We all have good days and bad and we all have different coping mechanisms for getting us through the bad days. I am and always will be ever the diplomat and if i see something i don't agree with like Mixie i will reply in a polite manner and would hate to think i would ever make something personal. Ca-ching you have had a difficult and frustarting time and if putting your true feelings and thoughts on here helps you to feel better or cope better then who am i to criticise you for that(not that i am btw). I believe in doing what is right for you and life is far too short! We all make choices sometimes we get it right sometimes we don't but as you say hun they were OUR choices and we will all live with our decisions. Big hugs hun x

 

[BlueDiamond]

We wouldn't be very supportive if we weren't here for each other in both the good times and the bad. We all have good days and bad and we all have different coping mechanisms for getting us through the bad days. I am and always will be ever the diplomat and if i see something i don't agree with like Mixie i will reply in a polite manner and would hate to think i would ever make something personal. Ca-ching you have had a difficult and frustarting time and if putting your true feelings and thoughts on here helps you to feel better or cope better then who am i to criticise you for that(not that i am btw). I believe in doing what is right for you and life is far too short! We all make choices sometimes we get it right sometimes we don't but as you say hun they were OUR choices and we will all live with our decisions. Big hugs hun x

 

[wildthing]

At least we all have this forum to air feeling and emotions to people who understand cos they are in the same boat, it doesn't matter if they are happy ones or sad ones, its just someone to listen to you. The band will work for you Cah-Ching, perhaps a bit more restriction? I bet in a years' time you will be on here singing its praises hun xx Chin up x

 

[topsy]

Sweetheart - we all have times were we feel absolutely 'useless' and feel we will never succeed in our weight loss (whatever surgery we elect for). Far from it you are not a failure, you are perfectly entitled to have a moan and feel down (we all do it) and i know you will be a success in your weight loss as you have identified the problem and you are taking POSITIVE steps to correct these problems. It may be a slow process and not as fast as the bypass people but we all have to have self belief and determination. Whatever pathway we follow it is not an easy decision and i am sending you lots of hugs with fairy dust to help you whenever you need it xx

 

[jayney3252]

If people dont like what you post then they dont have to read it!!! To say you upset people is I think wrong because you tell it as it is and I personally would rather be told a spade is a spade than flower it all up. Your a very intelligant lady and the determination of an ox so you will succeed I have more confidence in you pulling this off than myself if I am honest. Stay here we need you xx

 

[Zionaka]

Hi Cah ching, today sounds like a better day for you, support sometimes is silent, it's just giving one the space to vent, to say , to feel or to be, without judgement.

I've read your recent posts, and really felt for you, but not commented, right or wrong, just felt lots of people were responding and hoped that was helping, but like I said, support is sometimes silent.

Hmmm, I hear you say, well, in the silence I for one have gained a better understanding of what it is to be a bander. As a relative newbie to the site, I was quiet unaware of the existence 0f any "isms" in relation to banding, just assumed we were all on our own journeys and further assumed that the journey itself was the link rather than the route.

When I first met my consultant I also wanted a band, but he advised against it because of my eating habits. Now, Im grateful I have had a bypass and make no apologies for it, however if my consultant had offered me a band I would have grabbed it with both hands and like you are doing tried to work with it.

I'm waffling, but just wanted to acknowledge that "I heard you" and wish you all the best.

 

[Grace]

Sending hugs. I hope you fee better and better and that you have the success you deserve. You certainly didn't offend me, I loved or honesty and you brought up a subject which I was aware was there (for me in any case; I can only speak for myself) but did not know how to broach.
I want to support EVERYONE on this forum and to receive the support I need to, too.

It says somewhere in the bible, that 'we are to rejoice with those who rejoice, celebrate with those who celebrate, and grieve with those who grieve'- paraphrased obviously.
But that, in a nutshell, is my philosophy - about this site, and about life. It's better when we do it together. More hugs, dear CC. xxxxxxx

 

[phatmomma]

Cahching, this site is for celebrating the highs and sharing the lows. This is how we ALL learn about wls and what to expect. I personally think that your recent posts have been and will be beneficial to others struggling with wls of any kind and also for others who like you have thought long n hard about what kind of wls they want.

I continue to be 100% certain that you will succeed in your weight loss journey and will live in a happy place

Oh yeah and i never thought for one minute that you fill yourself with rubbish. One thing i know from you Cahching is if you say it's raining then i should take an umbrella out with me...

Good luck x

 

[BandyEmm]

masssive huggles i know its hard hun! We WILL get there, us banders will stick it out together xx

 

[thinkbethin]

I have never felt offended by anything you have written sweetheart. I like to hear other folks feelings because it makes me realise that I'm not alone on this long and very hard journey with my band. I do feel sometimes though like I need to give you a hug and a boost of self confidence. We will get there honest. We have each other to support us and I myself would not be able to cope without this.xxxx