I'm trying to make typical conversation with my Fiance and he wont look me in the eyes , I ask him whats wrong and he won't answer literally. He just sits there he won't even open his lips its like hes ignoring me? I don't know whats going on but hes been like this for the last 3 months . I'm really concerned . i told him I know when something is wrong why don't you just tell me . He said you've never noticed before. What does that mean? I always ask him how hes doing and sit a chat with him. I feel like im constantly catering to his needs and in return im talking to a brick wall. Someone help me I need advice. I feel hallow inside.:cry:
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I feel so far away
- Thread starter Amydoll
- Start date
slimmerkay
New Member
He certainly seems to have issues but if he wont talk to you you're not going to read his mind. "You've never noticed before" sounds like he's been this low before and you haven't brought it up then.
From what you've said previously about him not discussing your op with you I tend to think he may be feeling insecure that you may leave him when you're slim. Most partners would have some fears of this I should think.
I can only suggest you keep talking to him and pointing out that if he doesn't talk back you can't begin to understand him and sort things out. Maybe remind him you love him but he's pushing you away.
I hope things get better hun.
From what you've said previously about him not discussing your op with you I tend to think he may be feeling insecure that you may leave him when you're slim. Most partners would have some fears of this I should think.
I can only suggest you keep talking to him and pointing out that if he doesn't talk back you can't begin to understand him and sort things out. Maybe remind him you love him but he's pushing you away.
I hope things get better hun.
I think Karen has raised some valid points there and I do hope that you can resolve these issues...
On the other hand if your partner is not well, do you need to consult with his GP? It's so difficult to know what is best at times.
It's very difficult to get to the bottom of something if you are having no responses... please keep us posted.
Hope it works out for you... love and hugs xxx
On the other hand if your partner is not well, do you need to consult with his GP? It's so difficult to know what is best at times.
It's very difficult to get to the bottom of something if you are having no responses... please keep us posted.
Hope it works out for you... love and hugs xxx
Scarlet
New Member
~hugs~
I had this for 3 years with my husband - the feeling like i was just talking to myself all the time, the whats wrong questions met with a "nothing" thats laced with a "everything"
It took alot of pushing emotionally to get through to him, and when I did it turned out He just wasn't coping, and went to the Dr's for 2 years of anti depressants...
It didst change things over night and still these days he does the same but sometimes it helps to know its not him rejecting me its just his illness...
I wish i could give you a magic answer of how to fix things ......
~hugs and thinking of you~
I had this for 3 years with my husband - the feeling like i was just talking to myself all the time, the whats wrong questions met with a "nothing" thats laced with a "everything"
It took alot of pushing emotionally to get through to him, and when I did it turned out He just wasn't coping, and went to the Dr's for 2 years of anti depressants...
It didst change things over night and still these days he does the same but sometimes it helps to know its not him rejecting me its just his illness...
I wish i could give you a magic answer of how to fix things ......
~hugs and thinking of you~
soon to be not big AL
New Member
Hi Amydoll
Stonewalling is a pretty common man thing. I know I’ve done it enough times. Unfortunately us macho men ( yer right) feel we cant have emotions or problems like you girlies that would never do. Now I can't tell you what’s wrong with you old man but being honest as a bloke. It could be your Planned WLS. It sound daft but if like most ladies you carry him hand and foot he may actually be jealous you have another focus in your life. But it could just as easy be work or a million other things. I’m just being honest as a man and anything that takes the focus of our partners away from us tends to make us throw the teddy out of the pram. Or is that just me!!!!
Stonewalling is a pretty common man thing. I know I’ve done it enough times. Unfortunately us macho men ( yer right) feel we cant have emotions or problems like you girlies that would never do. Now I can't tell you what’s wrong with you old man but being honest as a bloke. It could be your Planned WLS. It sound daft but if like most ladies you carry him hand and foot he may actually be jealous you have another focus in your life. But it could just as easy be work or a million other things. I’m just being honest as a man and anything that takes the focus of our partners away from us tends to make us throw the teddy out of the pram. Or is that just me!!!!
slimmerkay
New Member
Al - that was a very honest, up front response.
phatmomma
New Member
I'm with Big Al... Men can be very childlike in that they sometimes want to be the 'Be All and End All' and when we have something else that takes our attention of their needs they can get either sulky or worried.... However, we could be doing your fiance an injustice, he may have some kind of depression which could do with addressing by a doctor. Or he may just be worried when your slim n slinky you'll leave him. Men can be daft creatures at times can't they?
Is there anyone who could talk to him about his worries? Sending hugs xx
Is there anyone who could talk to him about his worries? Sending hugs xx
They sure can Its so concerning... I feel like ever since I've had our daughter he has drifted away from me. I don't want to be the car that loses its new car smell even though I know it just happens. I want to have a great friendship with him and feel like he loves me. I don't know if any of you follow astrology but he is a Cancer and he tends to hide in his shell a lot .I am a gemini very free spirited and love to have many friends
