I lost it today

[BypassBee]

Well im on day 4 of my pre op, and I lost it.

I'm currently staying at my parents, and I dont have a very good relationship with them, never had, so I try and stay out of there way as much as possible.

So I was sitting down to eat yet another salad, when they came home and my dad made some comment about it looking nice, and i replied "no it doesnt", at which point he kicked off, i tried to explain how i'm sick of them for every meal and im stressed and he just started shouting how he didn't want to hear me, and it's my own fault. At which point my mother jumped in, so after 5 of so mins of being yelled at, my dinner ended up smashed on the table :sigh: i know, i know, i shouldn't have, but im just so stressed out and any time i try and talk about it to my mother i just get "you need to think about your life after the bypass blah blah..." When really im just so worried about the op having never had an opperation im scared stiff.

My OH being over 400 miles away isn't helping, and I just feel so alone. Needless to say i spent most of this evening crying, due to stress and my dad calling me weird and fat etc, which i should be used to ( i dont think its wierd to stay out of there way because we dont get on... but he does )

So i'm worried im not going to have shrunk my liver enough, im doing 1000 cals a day, but i dont know if thats right, so im going to have to try and get hold of someone tomorrow to help... im not sleeping cos im so worried about this op.

Im so close to cancelling it.


Sorry for ranting, thank you for bothering to read this. :wave_cry:

Becca .x.

 

[BlueDiamond]

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

please dont cancel your op a 1000 cals a day sounds fine, was that diet given to you by your surgeon ? if your following what they have told you then you will be fine. dont let family put you off this op as its gonna be the best ever decision you can ever make, chin up hun we are all here for you and to support you thro hard times.

liz x

 

[BypassBee]

thanks liz, that really means a lot.

i wasn't given a huge amount of info for my pre op, just a sheet with a sample menu, with the usual suspects, small bowl of cerial, fat free yogurt, fruit, one slice of bread, 2 oz meat etc etc... so i figured 1000 cals a day, thats lower carb than what i had been eating would do it.

So today i had a ww yogurt (50cal)
2oz chicken and salad for lunch with a small slice of brown bread.
then a slim a soup (cup a soup thingy) which was around 50 cal
A late dinner, which was lamb stew that was only 255 cals
some fruit
and a skinny cow hot choc drink which was 38 cal (i dont often go for hot choc, but i needed a pick me up)

written down it seems like a lot... but i assure you, my tummy is rumbling

.x.

 

[charliegirl]

Hun families are there to drive us mad at times.....sending you ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))....hang on in there after the op and once things settle down your life will be brill trust me cos mine is....xx

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

i understand its a hard time for you, your providor should of given you a proper diet sheet of foods to follow so you can mix and match them from the list, todays intake seems ok, we are all here to support you through this.

liz x

 

[tesmaralda]

1000 calories a day is ok I as given a choice of milk diet or 1000 calories a day low fat/sugar diet, so you should be fine. Don't give up you are so close, you will do this and soon be home with your oh and it will all be worth it. xXx

 

[Yoyo-nomore]

Hey Becca: Big hug to you ... The pre-op diet is hard and is likely to put you on edge by itself.... add in less than empathetic relatives and an absent other half to bear the brunt and it's a recipe for stress.

Don't cancel, well at least not for this reason. Have you got the option to talk the operation through with your provider's councillors?

Also - from your pics I think you look pretty amazing as you are...

Hope you are chilling somewhere with some ice cold milk, pretending it's wine.

yoyo

 

[BypassBee]

thanks so much... i know families are a pain, they shouldnt still be able to upset me, im almost 25 ffs!!!

means a lot your all here

.x.

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

does anyone on here have the pre op diet sheet for the 1000 cals a day pre op diet if so could you please post it in this thread as i think it will help ir0x alot.

thanks to anyone that can help out x

liz xxx

 

[BypassBee]

awwww liz, your actually a star!!!

thaks yo yo, sadly those pics are old now i did look better back then heh.

i'd be lost if it wasn't for the people on mini's

.x.

 

[tesmaralda]

thanks so much... i know families are a pain, they shouldnt still be able to upset me, im almost 25 ffs!!!

means a lot your all here

.x.

I'm 35 and my mom nows just what buttons to press to upset me or wind me up so I hoestly know how you feel. I will dig my diet sheet out and post the 2 sample days they give

brb

 

[BypassBee]

thanks so much terri

i just wish i was strong enough to not react when my parents are like that.

its always been a case of money not love... as in, throw money at the problem insted of giving support.

They are paying for my op, and i am so greatful to them, but i know part of the reason they are paying is cos they are embarassed by me... i have to stay out the way when they have people over, im not allowed at my dad business either... kindda hurts - but them payng for it is just another thing to throw at me during an argument!!!

God knows if i have kids, im going to be nothing like my parents!

.x.

ps. to top my day off, i burnt my tongue on dinner lol

 

[thinkbethin]

Becca Becca Becca, sit down and calm down.You've come this far so you can't back out now. More than anything you want this so don't throw it all away now over a silly disagreement with your parents. Maybe you don't get on with them but they are your parents and deep down they care for you even if they don't show it. They are probably just scared and worried for you and don't know how to express their feelings. I think with what you said about how this argument started, YOU over reacted. Maybe this is the fear on your side and not knowing how to show them your emotions and explain to them how you are feeling. You are doing so well with the pre op diet so don't give in. Your op will be over and done with in no time and you will look at this as last nerve jitters. Big HUGS to you Becca and I was glad to sea it was salad and not cake you had on your plate lol. We're all here if you need us so don't feel alone.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxGaynorxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[j.u.s.t.l.i.z.]

im working on getting the pre op diet sheet for u, but may not be until tomorrow x

 

[teen]

 

[BypassBee]

thanks liz

and yeah gaynor, i know i over reacted, i did try and explain just after though... i guess theres too much history with me and my parents, so one little comment sparks a huge fight! thanks for the support your all wonderful... i think so many of us would be lost without this site. and sadly, no, it was not cake lol

.x.

 

[BypassBee]

<a href="Glitter Graphics for MySpace, Hi5, Orkut - GlitterGraphicsNow.com" title="Orkut and MySpace Glitter Graphics"><img src="http://i287.photobucket.com/albums/ll149/glittergn/hugs/hugs003.gif" border="0" alt="Glitter Graphics" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.glittergraphicsnow.com/hugs.html">Hugs Glitter Pictures</a><br /><br />

thanks for that rather cryptic msg teen lol
(i know the html just didnt work lol)

.x.

 

[WagonWheel]

Honey....I'm on VLCD so not au fait with WLS but all the same I'm familiar with difficulties with parents..so much so that I haven't seen mine for about 5 years!! I'm shocked that they are embarrassed by you and that you have to stay away from your dad's business!! Are you saying it's because of your weight? There is just NO reason for this, it's horrendous! I know what you're saying about being grateful for them paying etc but OMG.....Have you been able to talk to them and make your feelings clear in a calm manner? Do they know how you see it? Gosh, this must be so tough but keep coming on here and I'm sure you'll get tons of support. Blood thicker than water...hmfft!!! You take care and good luck!! xx

 

[tesmaralda]

Example Menu

Day 1

Breakfast
20g/1oz breakfast cereal (not sugar or honey coated variety) or 1 small slice of toast with a smidgen of low fat spread with a poached or boiled egg.

Lunch

1 slice of bread or 2 crispbreads with 30g/1oz low fat cheese or 2 eggs (not fried) or tomatoes. Clear soups green salad with no dressing.

Dinner

85g/ 3-4 slices of lean meat or fish without batter or small portion of low fat cheese (30g) or 2 eggs or Tofu or Quorn based dish.
1 small potato (new potato sized) can be boiled or as a jacket or 2 tbsp of pasta or 2tbsp of rice
Vegetables (have plenty except for root vegs eg carrots, parsnips, turnips, swede) or green salad.

Daily Allowance

1 pint of semi skimmed milk for use in drinks or on cereal.

2 portions of fruit (eg apple, orange banana, pear)

Water, tea, coffee, low calorie or sugar free squash or sugar free fizzy drinks(begin to stop having fizzy drinks).

1 low fat, low sugar yoghurt or fromage frais.

Day 2

Breakfast

20g of cereal with milk (from daily allowance) with chopped banana.

Lunch

1 slice of bread with 2 poached eggs and a diet yoghurt

Dinner

85g of grilled chicken breast with 1 new potato (small) and broccoli, cauliflower and green beans followed by an apple.

Example day 3

Breakfast

1 small slice of taost with a smidgen of l/f spread and a boiled egg.

Lunch

Green Salad with a pear

Dinner

85g grilled salmon with 2 tbsp of pasta with green beanbs, sweetcoen and peas followed by a diet yoghurt.

hope this helps