:cry:hey guys its me georgina, i have enjoyed helping all of you, wether you have had ur ops or not, but underneath im crying inside everyday, im losing the bestest friend ive ever had and thats my mam:cry: she has had illnesses for such a long time now that its only a matter of time for her now, she has chronic emphasema,cellulitis,lymphodema,severe bronchitis,high blood pressure isachaemic heart disease,and c.o.p.d (chronic obstuctive pulmonary disease), and severe elephantitis of the legs, but not once through all of this would you hear her complain of the severe pain or moan, i have never really been a religious person but lately i have prayed and prayed for her, she is also oxygen dependent 24hrs a day, i care for her everyday from showering her to feeding her and i willingly do it because i love her so much, how do you look at someone everyday knowing theres not much time left, when she holds my hand and kisses it to tell me everything will be ok, when i know its not, when she tells me she will always be with me watching over me and she will wait patiently for me, we are inseperable 2 peas in a pod, i have to stay strong for her and dad as hes not in the best of health either, my husband and 4 children have been great in supporting me without them i dont know what i would do, from the knees down mams legs have a diameter of more than 70cms around they are red raw and the district nurses god bless them come in twice a day to dress them, she always has a ready smile, but recently the drs sent her home to enjoy the time she has left so how can she enjoy it when she is housebound, i spend hours each day with her and when im not there we are on the phone but i have been advised to put her into a home but i refused point blank because she has done so much for me throughout my life thats its my turn to give back to her, and im giving her all my love my help and my devotion, she looks into my eyes everyday and i see the pain she is in and theres nothing i can do except give her more morphine to at least try and ease the pain a bit, she loves me to read to her and brush her hair, shes just turned 65 so shes not old and i feel at 40 im too young to lose her, so id like to ask everyone who reads this thread to say a little prayer for my wonderful mam my one true best friend her name is rohna, i would be very grateful if you all would, im glad i found this site as ive made some lovely friends on here and coming here everyday takes my mind off things, well il close now before you all nod off reading this lol, just remember one thing, if you are close to your mother then take care of her because when you are faced with losing her it really hurts and the pain is unbearable :cry: thank you all for reading this i just wanted to write it down to see if it helps me to put it into perspective just a little bit, love georgina xxx take care xxx