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it only takes one

pandora

pandora

finding my way again !
Person to make you question things ! So far I have told 10 people of my plans to have the bypass , 9 of whom are supportive . My sister seems very anti it & has an answer to every reason or argument I have . I know others may not agree , but I wanted her support .
 
pandora said:
Person to make you question things ! So far I have told 10 people of my plans to have the bypass , 9 of whom are supportive . My sister seems very anti it & has an answer to every reason or argument I have . I know others may not agree , but I wanted her support .
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yeah it sucks dont it? if it wasnt for this place id have no support at all :(
but hey, remember this is for you and nobody else :) xxx
 
I think what worries her most is someone she knows died following an infection , that was in Tazmania . I have said how low risk it is .
She also said about meals out & Xmas & that I wouldn't be able to enjoy them any more , to which I said eating less doesn't mean not enjoying .
Oh the age old "you've done it before you can do it again "
 
Tell you could die from being too fat
If you die on the table at least you died trying to get healthy.

My Dad refused to speak to me when I told him I was having a gastric bypass..
Then I was told "you will put all that weight back on"
I haven't spoken to him in nearly a year due to his snide remarks. He misses me more than I miss him

Oh and when I lost 3 1/2 stone at weightwatchers years ago he said "Huh you have only lost water" and when I had flu he said it was the weight loss that had made me ill.
 
I told her it was a scary decision but the alternative was more scary but she still thinks I should do it alone .
I briefly spoke to her a couple of weeks back & sensed the didn't agree so decided just to not talk to her about it , but she bought the subject up today .
Tbh if someone doesn't agree I'd rather just not talk to them about it
 
pandora said:
I told her it was a scary decision but the alternative was more scary but she still thinks I should do it alone .
I briefly spoke to her a couple of weeks back & sensed the didn't agree so decided just to not talk to her about it , but she bought the subject up today .
Tbh if someone doesn't agree I'd rather just not talk to them about it
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thats what i do honey, my daughter is dead set against it so i just dont speak about it with her, shame but thats the way it is, chin up sweet :) xxx
 
Thanks Caren xx
 
Of all the people I've told about my surgery the most negative is one of my sisters. She thinks I'm rushing things - doesn't realise it's taken 2 years of battling to get to where I am now (which is a date for surgery in 7 weeks time!) and, just because she can't turn it around to make herself the centre of attention, she's very negative.

Your sister just needs to come to terms with it - perhaps she's insecure about herself and your size makes her feel better about herself. Answer any questions she has but don't get into arguments with her as it will just cause ill feeling. When you get to surgery time she'll support you I'm sure!

Tatiana
 
My mum was initially very anti the idea, she kept asking if I couldn't seriously diet and exercise. I asked her, don't you think I have? She said No!

Anyway, she has now seen me lose 2 stone through the milk diet and she is much more positive as she can see how much happier I am.

Eventually family will come round, sometimes maybe too late. They just need to get over themselves :/
 
I have to say I do wonder if it has to do with her weight issues . She currently a size 16 but always been the slimmer of the two of us , to the extent she beefed on anorexia cos she couldn't get rid of the lumps on her thighs !
 
*bordered on , not beefed on lol
 
It only matters to one person and thats you!I could of guessed she had some weight on her before you told us,just smile and get on with it hun.Maz x
 
I must admit this was an area that made me feel ill thinking about it pre op. There was only my hubby & eldest daughter who knew from the beginning, & they supported me wholeheartedly. It was my intention to tell my son & youngest daughter once I had a date ... well best laid plans, I got a cancellation, 6 days notice jobby & my daughter was on holiday. I told my son & he was heartbreakingly supportive (what was I worrying about) & only told my daughter when she got back 5 days post op & she was also wonderful. I was really scared of telling them, especially as I knew how Caren's daughter had reacted. Well now both my son in laws also know & so I have all my immediate family support & that is all I need. Not telling any extended family or friends as not risking any negative feelings bringing me down :( to be fair I don't know if they would, but they are not getting the chance, lol. This is for you Cheryl, to give you the chance to be at more of the Christmas dinners that seem so important to your sister. If she can't see why you are doing it, let it be ... she will come to see it really was your best chance of a longer, healthier life. mwah xxx :):)
 
Seems like it's sisters all round mine is what she calls supportive, she is taking me to hospital and coming straight after work to see me. But she says that I don't need the operation and can do it on my own also that she doesn't like the fact I'm having the op and is very vocal about this. But on the other hand you have my parents who blank the whole subject as if it's not going to happen even now that have my date. Family go figure !!! But it is going to happen as this is for me and me only, and they do not live my life and how this weight affects me. I think sometimes we have to be selfish and this is one of those times :) x
 
suzie290304 said:
Seems like it's sisters all round mine is what she calls supportive, she is taking me to hospital and coming straight after work to see me. But she says that I don't need the operation and can do it on my own also that she doesn't like the fact I'm having the op and is very vocal about this. But on the other hand you have my parents who blank the whole subject as if it's not going to happen even now that have my date. Family go figure !!! But it is going to happen as this is for me and me only, and they do not live my life and how this weight affects me. I think sometimes we have to be selfish and this is one of those times :) x
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same here!!! ive spent 23 years looking after my daughter, this is for me, just me, nobody else but me woohoo go me!!!! everyone else? Deal with it!!!!!
 
You know my thoughts hun, its your life and you want to have a better life for your childrens sake and your happyness so im sorry Sis will just have to accept your choice.
Like i say how many obese pensioners do you see ??
You have my full support hun and a shoulder when ever yo need it xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
... I have to admit that from a family point of view I have only told my hubby (obviously!) my daughter (who doesnt really understand what it is that i am having done, she's only 19!) and my closest lovely brother. I've lost both my parents, but I still haven't plucked up the courage to tell the in laws because I fear "the anti wls attitude" so much! I have some really close friends who are all over the moon for me and want me to be happy and healthy that I feel overwhelmed with gratitude and sooo lucky to have them. And of course I have all of the wonderful caring people on this forum, do I need any more??

I know it must be so hard for those of you who have people that you care most about being unsupportive, but they may just need time to get their head round it all. Either way, WE are the most important in all if this, and WE are going to enjoy the ride xxx
 
I'm so glad I have you lot so sound off to & get support from . Yes this is for me & about me , a concept I find hard because my life is always about others first.
Thanks again girls Xxxxx
 
my mum was dead against my surgery infact so much so she offerede to pay for me to be hypnotised..... that frightened me more than major surgery ! lol xx my motto now is do what you have to make you happy .I couldnt be happier 7 stone lighter & wouldnt change a thing xxxxx always be happy xx
 
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