ive always been the bubbly, never upset.....

[MissyMustDoIt]

kinda gal.

no one knows how much my weight upsets me...

no one knows how long i have cried for, dieted for longed to be slim for...

ive told a few people, my sis, a couple of colleagues of my intention for an operation and all of them are shocked....why? your lovely..pretty..not fat..etc

im crying now as i type this, i cant talk to people about my weight..i literally sob when i think about how disgustingly overweight i am...

I am researching every day....and honestly believe that the NHS will not fund this for me...and i cant afford to do it privatley...

i can invisage the future....another 10 years of dieting, when my BMI will be above 50 and i will have the co-morbidities they so desperatley want to see!!! argh, are any of these symptoms enough??? cause they sure as hell upset me and make my life difficult!!!!

i get pins and needles in my arms when i sleep because my weight is literally crushing them.
i get sores under my boobs and fat folds because i sweat sop much and have to walk so far to work.
my left knee is constantly swollen and i am on painkillers daily just to walk, the noise they make is horrific!
i am now a size 24...you cant buy nice clothes at a size 26...im 33 i want to be fashionable again!
i cant wear heels..22 stone is enough to carry on all of my foot!
i cant take my boys out, swimming..etc
i dont take them to the cinema because im too big to sit in the chair....
i stand on the train every day...its too embarassing to squeeze next to someone
my skin is horrid and spotty
ive quit smoking thinking that will help me walk to work...but i know it wont make too much difference unless i lose weight

im sure i could think of loads more but this is the type of stuff i hide, and keep to myself......i wouldnt dare tell anyone in the real world this stuff!!! i might print it out and show the dietician, i couldnt read it i know that much lol...

its not just my fat ass i want to go...its the burden that goes with it

sorry for that, i hope it makes me feel better lol

 

[newcy]

Don't apologise hun, we all know where you're coming from!

Having wlsurgery will be a life changing experience and while it won't be easy and will require hard work, you will get there and will be everything you dream of x

 

[newcy]

Don't apologise hun, we all know where you're coming from!

Having wlsurgery will be a life changing experience and while it won't be easy and will require hard work, you will get there and will be everything you dream of x

 

[pandora]

Hunni , why do you think you don't qualify , are you very tall cos you weigh about a stone more than me & I got funding & my pct ask a higher BMI than nice guidelines .
I never let on to people how my weight makes me feel mentally , they know physically , its hard not to notice getting short of breath .
One friend said she was discussing me at work & her collegues said " she must be very big " but she said she just doesnt see me like that & was surprised when I told her I was having the op.
Stay strong & fight all the way xx

 

[Caren]

awww bless ya honey, we all know how u feel
we are here for you any time you want to vent, I really hope it has made u feel better xxx

 

[MissyMustDoIt]

OM G im 5ft 9:O

ive thought i was 5ft 11 for years!!!!

i have honestly just measured myself and i am 175cm tall!!!!! off to amend the stats lol

 

[Raynebubble]

Oh Big Rayne hugs to you hun... i cant see why you wont qualify for funding.. think positive hun you will get there xxx

 

[MissyMustDoIt]

sorry for the random post there about my weight,

i always compare my height and weight to others on here, but apart from fluffs havent see a lot of tall ladies, i was, in my head of course, saying thats why my bmi is lower, because im taller!

so i measured myself and ive lost 2" lol

i also figured out last night, how much id haveto weigh to have a BMI of 50+...and that would be 26 stone.....i cant do that to myself, i struggle with everything listed up there at 22 stone....im sure id be bed ridden or give up work or something like that so i refuse to do that intentionally....

i wind myself up so easily, im south staffs PCT...theyre guidlines as 50+ bmi and co morbidities....but then know how quickly these things change....im just not ready for them to say no

 

[pandora]

Lol I thought I was 5ft 5.5 , when on reality I am 5ft 4.5 , every little helps hun x

 

[Mrs Quiggle]

I only had a BMI of 44.5 when I was referred, I know I had co-morbidities but I would have been offered it at about 38 without them so why don't you go and ask your Dr and at least try and see what he says. I do understand as will loads of others here. We've all been exactly where you are, with the same problems and feelings. You're not alone lovely.

Kate x

 

[MissyMustDoIt]

thanks mrs quiggle, my doctor has referred me, im waiting for a weight management appointment now....

im just worried that she referred me to get me outta there cause i was crying lol but she did confirm some past histories with me and look in a special folder lol

im not very good at being patient....had you noticed

 

[pandora]

With being 2 inches shorter than you thought , a BMI of 50.7 would be 24 1/2 stone hun , speak to your doctor , he may ne able to refer with special measures .
I assume you have checked your pct guidelines & not off the bospa site which is years out of date xx

 

[cherry]

if i could wave a wand and get everyone this op who wants it and thinks its for them i so would........

the same rules should apply to everyone if someone needs a op to save there life they should get it!!!!!! bloody postcode lottery and different areas pppfftttt you wouldnt turn someone away with cancer or failing organs thats killling them, yet they do with weightloss ops, that also are prob one of the biggest killers up with cancer... its just not fair! and everything you wrote here i comepletly understand and have been there!!!

dont get to 26 stone to qualify tho, im sure your not gonna do that anyways like you said, but appeal go to your mp and back to the gp and start getting back up! dont take this lying down fight it, and fight it all the way, you ll come right in the end, it might be a struggle but you ll get there if you want it..... i never give up if i want something... you do have medical reasons to qualify for this op, so start emphasing on these and getting back up on paperwork to start a case for yourself

good luck sweetpea, keep your chin up, think positive, stick with us on here, rant, rave laugh, cry... we do it all! and we'll help you...

one thing tho, KEEP FIGHTING so many people on here have been in the same position have fought it and WON xxxxxxxxxx

 

[Montana]

I'm 5'11 and weighed 24.5 stone when I started, I didn't quite reach the 50+ BMI that I needed but I still got my surgery so please don't give up hope The 2" you've lost in the last 10 minutes will make a difference to your BMI!

Have you been tested for sleep apnea? That's a co-morb that lots of us have but not many of us realise we have it! I certainly didn't have a clue until I got tested so it's worth a shot. You'll still have all the usual hoops to jump through first though, I had a year of seeing a dietician and 6 months of xenical before I was considered but I got there in the end!

H xx

 

[pandora]

Gary is the one to talk to about methods of attack etc

 

[MissyMustDoIt]

With being 2 inches shorter than you thought , a BMI of 50.7 would be 24 1/2 stone hun , speak to your doctor , he may ne able to refer with special measures .
I assume you have checked your pct guidelines & not off the bospa site which is years out of date xx

Yes hun, ive googld and googled until i found them, they do however expire Oct 2012...ya never know they may change to NICE guidlines lol

Kelly, thankyou so much for a very strong post, im sure you will all be with me all the way xxxx

I have used orlistat and seen a dietician in a past life...none of them worked...well, none of them kept the weight off at least

ill fight guys, youve seen how impatient i am already lol...maybe ill win the lottery whilst im waiting for the NHS lol x

 

[OOnion]

I think any one of us could have written that...well a few age and sex changes! lol.
I found this site about a month ago, and have been helped sooooo much to know that there are lots of other people that think and feel just like I do, it does not seem to matter what you write or say, there is always someone to make a comment that makes you feel a bit better.
You have taken a step in the right direction by asking for help and you should pat yourself on the back for that, as it is very hard to admit your not able to cope on your own any more. I am sure it is going to be a long difficult journey for you (as it is for most) but it is just that, a new journey on a different track that will in 12-18 months result in a new life for you, with our without surgery - you sound like you are ready to make some real changes.
Good Luck and stay in touch with this site as both the pre and post oppers are great!
xxxx

 

[Tray3004]

Good luck on ur journey hun x

 

[Newmelani]

This is why I love all of you so much! We have all felt the same feelings and have been on a massive weight roller coaster. I've never met so many people that I don't have to explain things to. We are one awesome family and i love that it doesn't matter what you say, good or bad, there's always someone here to make you laugh, give you a virtual hug, offer advice, give ideas and to just be a good friend. I can't imagine going through this journey without all of you.... Glad I don't have to! Welcome to the family miss!

 

[angiemason]

I was turned down twice because they said i didn't fit this or that criteria but i kept fighting and don't regret it one little bit xx take care and good luck