I thought I'd start my diary now, even though my consultation isn't until Thursday. My loan is approved, my Exante shakes are on the way, my head is ready and I'm excited.
So, as this thread title implies, I'm going to dwell on my losses and gains.
What I want to lose:
The feeling of dread when I meet new people.
Eying up every new environment like some kind of fatness ninja, assessing for potential humiliations.
Avoiding mirrors and cameras.
Feeling like I need to apologise for existing.
Being afraid to eat in public.
Feeling embarrassed for my partner.
Avoiding meeting old friends and seeing family.
The vicious cycle of the world making me feel bad, and food being the only thing that makes me feel good.
Mindless eating.
A twisted relationship with food.
Fear, shame, guilt and the resulting emotional hunger.
Sore back and knees.
Sleep apnoea.
WEIGHT.
What I want to gain:
Confidence.
New hobbies.
New clothes!
Looking forward to dressing up and going out.
Reconnecting with old friends.
A future.
Sleeping well.
Feeling proud.
New habits.
Excitement.
I want to look forward to things. I want to feel positive about my graduation photos, and getting a job at the end of it. I want to lose weight without the usual nagging feeling of 'I'm going to put this all back on.'
I've lost weight successfully before, I've kept it off for a good few years, I just need something else in my toolbox and I think a band is the way forward. I don't expect a magic wand, but I finally feel positive that I can do this.
Roll on the 17th December!
So, as this thread title implies, I'm going to dwell on my losses and gains.
What I want to lose:
The feeling of dread when I meet new people.
Eying up every new environment like some kind of fatness ninja, assessing for potential humiliations.
Avoiding mirrors and cameras.
Feeling like I need to apologise for existing.
Being afraid to eat in public.
Feeling embarrassed for my partner.
Avoiding meeting old friends and seeing family.
The vicious cycle of the world making me feel bad, and food being the only thing that makes me feel good.
Mindless eating.
A twisted relationship with food.
Fear, shame, guilt and the resulting emotional hunger.
Sore back and knees.
Sleep apnoea.
WEIGHT.
What I want to gain:
Confidence.
New hobbies.
New clothes!
Looking forward to dressing up and going out.
Reconnecting with old friends.
A future.
Sleeping well.
Feeling proud.
New habits.
Excitement.
I want to look forward to things. I want to feel positive about my graduation photos, and getting a job at the end of it. I want to lose weight without the usual nagging feeling of 'I'm going to put this all back on.'
I've lost weight successfully before, I've kept it off for a good few years, I just need something else in my toolbox and I think a band is the way forward. I don't expect a magic wand, but I finally feel positive that I can do this.
Roll on the 17th December!