My op didn't happen. Saddest day of my life.

[Carolined]

sorry if this sounds dumb but- how do I start an diary on here?

I've tried searching but i'm not having much luck =/ can you show me the link or something? Pretty please? xx

I find writing these issues down and getting feedback kinda helps me when i cant cope. x

 

[Kar8858]

Thats shocking news, have they said how they intend to deal with your liver failure, surely this will require hospital admission, and to tell you in a letter? Thats disgusting.

 

[Yvessa]

My goodness they are treating you awfully and shouldn't be leaving you like this. Can they not use a tool such as the gastric balloon which requires no operation to help you lose the weight until you are surgery safe? Could they not do it as an open procedure? As for uni, is it possible/feasible for you to defer a year on health grounds? With your liver failure you have plenty.

 

[Butterfly_lady]

sorry if this sounds dumb but- how do I start an diary on here?

I've tried searching but i'm not having much luck =/ can you show me the link or something? Pretty please? xx

I find writing these issues down and getting feedback kinda helps me when i cant cope. x

Click on Forum Jump scroll down to diary's x

 

[TempleBelle]

Caroline, I don't know if this will help or hinder, I hope it isn't the latter.
I went into Kings on the 11th of this month for my sleeve, having waited nearly 3 years. I had been taken on by an amazing surgeon by the name of Prof. Rubino. All seemed well, was told I would be in surgery for about 2 and half hours, I was under for over 6! It seems I too have Non alcohol based liver disease, in quite a late stage. I was so blessed in the fact Prof. Rubino stuck at it and I came out sleeved. He felt that it was what I needed now as an aide to the liver malfunction, losing the weight MIGHT just slow it down. My liver wasn't over sized though, although I had to stay in hospital post op a little longer as had a drain and they had to check my bloods were ok a little longer. So, my thinking is, get that liver down a little more and they will go ahead as it makes sense in the long run. Be strong, stay focused xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Chrisyd]

T:cry:hanks everyone, your warm comments are very welcome. Thank you wholeheartedly.

However things are not going at all well.

last week I received a letter, (yes in a letter) I was informed that my liver biopsy showed that i am in the last stage of liver failure. I am at the stage where i should be yellow apparently. This is non- alcoholic failure please may I add.
Getting this letter felt like a joke, earlier that day I was so upset and emotionally broken I was thinking- things cant get worst at least. Then this letter appeared.

I spent the next couple of days trying to convince myself that this was more incentive to keep on track. But that didn't work.

I lost 4.5 lbs last week! yey!
This week i have put on 4lbs.

A gain is terrifying. I know how it happened, I lost it for 2 days. I can only blame a lack of self control, me ending my long term relationship and trying to come to terms with it, The aforementioned letter and the time of the month. All these things combined just broke me.

I have been in a state of darkness. I just don't see why bother the time of the surgical team and go for this new op date. My new date is 3rd of September.
If my liver isn't smaller then once again the op will not happen.
I do not think I could handle that again. That feeling will never leave me.

the nurse told me I can push the date to october if I feel I really need to.

I return to uni at the end of September, I live in halls as uni is very far from home. I know for sure I cant keep up this diet while at uni. It just wont happen.

I also have the letter to face up to, the letter told me that substantial weight loss (and get snappy about it) is the only chance of saving my liver.


So those things tell me I need to go for the September date.

I am in a state of constant fear and shame. Of everything that goes in my mouth. I cried over the worry of cucumber yesterday. Its stupid isn't it.

I need this operation to happen. I need to have it over with so soon. I cant keep up with this level of stress.

Hi - this must have been a terrible shock for you and no wonder you feel so emotional. I work in a university and think that you should consider deferring for a year and put your health first. You could then do the LRD at home and take the September date. Whatever you decide, keep in touch with the forum x

 

[kurstywursty]

Caroline I feel gutted for you. Best they were keeping you safe though

I have not posted this yet as didn't want to concern the girls that are still to go ahead this month. But..I was banded on Wednesday and on the Thursday the surgeon came to tell me there had been a complication during surgery. My liver had a very unusual shape, one section larger than it should be and it was not where he would expect. It was making it difficult for him to get access He cut an artery in my liver and I had a bleed and subsequently am left with metal clamps inside me from the repair.

So....it's all scary stuff. And although you are crushed, it ismgood that they did not take any risks with your health

I hope you can get your surgery at some point in the near future. (((((Huggs)))))

 

[Chrisyd]

Caroline I feel gutted for you. Best they were keeping you safe though

I have not posted this yet as didn't want to concern the girls that are still to go ahead this month. But..I was banded on Wednesday and on the Thursday the surgeon came to tell me there had been a complication during surgery. My liver had a very unusual shape, one section larger than it should be and it was not where he would expect. It was making it difficult for him to get access He cut an artery in my liver and I had a bleed and subsequently am left with metal clamps inside me from the repair.

So....it's all scary stuff. And although you are crushed, it ismgood that they did not take any risks with your health

I hope you can get your surgery at some point in the near future. (((((Huggs)))))

Oh Kurstywursty I am really sorry to hear this? Hope are you feeling? I hope you are on the mend xx

 

[kurstywursty]

Oh Kurstywursty I am really sorry to hear this? Hope are you feeling? I hope you are on the mend xx

Chrystal I would have never known about it if he didn't tell me. I suppose he had to because of the remaining metal for MRI disclosure etc,

Who ever thinks about livers being such a booger :-(

 

[Chrisyd]

Exactly - I'd never really considered mine until was x

 

[A.Positive]

Oh my love, how utterly heartbreaking. I am so very sorry I wish I had some magic words for you to make it hurt just a little less. xxx