My Progress So Far.... (and a few other things)

[DanR]

Hi Everyone,

I hope you're all doing okay, as always the progress photo's that have been posted are truly inspirational so I feel that I should post some of my own.

I have to say though that I feel a little guilty posting as I haven't contributed anything to the group of late (although I have been lurking). Since my op I feel absolutely exhausted and the most run down that I have for ages, that coupled with worries that I was becoming depressed again and a total lack of motivation (except of course for my bypass ) have led to me not doing a great deal aside from working (as a side note if anyone wants to give me a kick up the bum to crack on with my diploma work please feel free!). On top of that I had to part company with my counsellor of two years when I probably needed her most and my car is knackered after having had a fortune spent on it so have been feeling thoroughly poo (although I have treated myself to a lovely newish Vectra, 1.9 CDTI SRI 150 for any car nuts among us).

Once I start feeling a bit more human I hope to contribute more but in the meantime I hope the following pics will be of use to those of us who are still pre-op or aren't too sure if their decision is the right one - I know I haven't been too sure on occasions!

Also now that I'm beginning to feel better about myself I am contemplating getting into the dating game, something that I have never really done before. I suppose what I'm after is suggestions from anyone who has been in that situation following WLS as I really don't know where to start and to be honest while a relationship is something that I really want the thought of dating scares the c**p out of me!

Anyhoo that's more than enough rambling for one day

Take it easy!

Dan

 

[rybens]

Well done you look to be having fab results x

 

[bexmoss86]

Awesome!

Well done! x

 

[dottychic]

Well done x

 

[BandyEmm]

well done x

 

[phatmomma]

At last topless photos whitt whooo.

Seriously. well done you are doing fantastically well. With regards to dating, you have two choices: you can do the conventional way and get out there and mingle and shake your thang or... try internet dating? Give you chance to talk to the ladies, practice flirting and well to be honest i'm sure some of them would be interested in the fact you've had wls. I know if i was out there dating i would be interested, just because you were a man who had an interest in losing weight and know the hassles that come with it....

 

[Twiggie]

Wow!!! The shrinking man!!!!

Well done!! :happy096:

 

[cah-ching]

Hi DanR,

Well done on the weight loss. How are you feeling about it? You've not really mentioned much about your thoughts and your progress.

On the dating front. Are you ready? You seem to be in a rut at the moment and feel that your depression is rearing it's ugly head again. Make sure you're ready for what can be the emotional rollercoaster that is dating. I'd recommend you keep your mind broad and your options open I agree with the mad one .... oops I mean Phatmomma internet dating or getting out there and meeting people. I must admit I have a bias for the latter rather than the former, but if you can make it work for you all the better. Ultimately try and make new friends ...

Wishing you the best of luck.

CC

P.S. your new diesel sounds lush SRI's are very attractive looking specimens.

 

[DanR]

Thanks Guys for all of the nice comments (don't think I've ever had a "whitt whooo" before when I've taken my top off!), as for "The Shrinking Man" I like that .

You're right cah-ching, I haven't really mentioned much about my thoughts or progress - perhaps that was intentional in an unconscious kind of way?

I am really proud of myself for the progress that I have made and whilst the outward results are great and I can really see my progress (and it takes a lot for me to be able to see it and acknowledge it) emotionally I haven't been doing too well. My bypass has been a real rollercoaster ride, I think in part because my op came around so quickly (don't get me wrong I'm really grateful but three months wasn't long enough for me to prepare mentally) and also because I don't really have the faith in myself that I can cope without turning to food. After all I have been using food to deal with my emotions for most of my life and that's pretty much what got me to the weight I was. It doesn't help that there was no provision for counselling after the surgery and that my time with my counsellor happened to end four weeks after my op.

All of this coupled with a number of (in the scheme of things) minor events recently has left me feeling like I've had a good kicking emotionally which has led to the fear that I am sinking into another episode of depression - some days I know that I'm not and on others I'm not so sure. The 'D' word carries quite alot of fear for me as my last episode cost me my job, nearly cost me my home, put me in hospital and led to me harming myself for a period as a way to cope (another negative coping mechanism) but it feels more like a 'low level' depression instead of a full blown episode - I know I need to chat to my GP but then if I go back onto medication there's the very real risk that I'll gain weight (about 30lbs last time) plus the fact that it will prevent me from doing the offshore portion of my job for at least twelve months after I stop any meds.

Also I guess I'm a little disillusioned because when I lost three stone on Reductil last year I felt absolutley amazing, I had loads of energy & motivation and was cycling 20/30 miles every weekend. I know that I am recovering from a major operation and that my energy intake has dropped dramatically but I expected to feel better than this!

If I had my time again would I take the bypass? Definately! I know that I'm feeling low at the moment for one reason and another but I can see that this is the beginning of my new life, however three months was no where near long enough to get my head around the enourmity of living with the surgery and loosing my oldest and dearest friend - food.

As for the dating stuff I think I've always seen a relationship as the answer to all of my 'problems' and have perhaps over-romanticised the whole thing - fantacising over the positives while disregaring the hard work involved. Perhaps making friends is the best way to go?

I really can't believe just how honest I have been, feels a little uncomfortable tbh but what the hell!

However I don't want anyone pre-op to read this and be discouraged - I'm 110% glad that I was given the chance to have the bypass and that I seized the opportunity with both hands, I just don't think I realised how hard it would be at times, at other times I look in the mirror and truly like the person looking back at me and actually spend time admiring myself (too much info perhaps ).

Anyhoo thanks for reading, at the end of the day I think I just need to give myself permission to feel s**t for a while - after all I have just had major surgery (also not forgetting the emotional aspects of the op) and it's okay for me to be 'off-colour', hell it's only human!

Cheers

Dan

btw The SRI's a beauty - the wait to get the keys is killing me :gimi:

 

[Ellie65]

Wishing you well Dan xx

 

[Glenville]

Well done Dan, we have come along a very similar journey, except you have your youth on your side and I just wish I could have had our opportunity when I was your age. You at least have your skin shrinking with you.

I can understand why you might want to get into a relationship now, but don't be too hasty. You have plenty of time to get yourself into the right place first. But, do make friends - you need people to help lift you out of the blues. Joining clubs or going to evening classes is a good way to socialise.

Good luck with your journey and don't be a stranger.

 

[Nightwitch]

looking good hun, well done for the loss so far

 

[Dawn36]

Hi Dan, firstly thank you so much for sharing your photos and your thoughts. I feel very priveleged to read your personal thoughts and feelings.

I can imagine that 3 months must have seemed like you were caught up in a whirlwind, and I can see how you would not have had the chance to fully understand what was about to happen to you and your way of life.

From what you have said, you sound very self aware which is a great tool for understanding your depression. Can you talk to your GP about meds that wont increase your weight?

And, yep, I think it is absolutely OK to have some blue days. Be good to yourself on those days, be kind to yourself.

Meanwhile keep looking in that mirror and smile at that good looking guy, cos it really is you and you have worked darn hard on this journey. You are looking good and doing an awesome job.

PS May I ask what the diploma is you are studying for?

 

[dottychic]

Hi Dan,
Nice posts, inspiring pics too. Keep your chin up your doing fab, and you should never feel bad sharing your feelings, we should all do it more. Well done x

 

[galm37]

Fantastic weight loss, you've done so well and should be very proud of yourself.

With regards to feeling knackered all the time. Might sound like a daft question, but are you taking all your suppliments, drinking enough fluids? Perhaps your G.P. could run some blood tests to see if your lacking in anything.

There could be a specific reason for it, which may in turn 'lift' your mood.

Keep up the good work :553:

 

[Gail-michelle]

What an excellent result well done!!!!!:553: Gail x

 

[Mixman]

Good to see your confidence is getting better and great progress pics!

Congratulations!

 

[POPPET]

Great progress Dan

 

[DanR]

Once again guys, thanks for the positive comments - reading this thread has really cheered me up!

Glenville - Cheers, I definately need to get myself out there & start making friends - just kinda out of practice at the moment but hey, practice makes perfect! Was thinking of doing a photography course in September, perhaps now is the ideal time.

Dawn - Thanks for your comments, I was unsure about being so honest but I thought if anyone would understand, you guys would. Being self aware has taken five years of therapy but I'm getting there , I think I'll see how things go before seeing my GP - however she is absolutley amazing and I know she'll help me through it should I need it (she was the one who took my tiredness/sleep apnoea and request for WLS seriously after my old GP telling me every issue I had was due to my weight and if I could just drop a few pounds...). My diploma is in Acoustics & Noise Control, just need to get my arse in gear and motivate myself, however looking at the two assignments we have just been given I dread to think what the examiners have been smoking!

Dottychic - I really struggle with sharing my feelings but I'm getting there and I definately agree, we should all do it more!

Poppet - Have you tried seeing a different GP in your practice (or even changing practices)? They shouldn't be able to deny you WLS based on their own preconceptions and if you fit your PCT's guidelines it shouldn't be down to your GP to decide.

Galm37 - I'm currently on Forceval & 500mg of Calcium a day and I've even bought a pillbox to ensure I take them every day! I'm getting at least two litres of fluid a day, including one litre of semi skimmed milk with 40g of protein for good measure. I am in fact overdue for my two month blood tests and need to make an appointment (please feel free to slap my wrists!). I'm really hoping that they show I'm deficient in something so there's an easy answer to me being permanantly exhausted - I haven't felt this wrecked since before CPAP!

I definately feel that my tiredness is related to how low I feel at the moment - If I can just get that under control I can cope with everything else, tiredness has always been the one thing that leaves me a gibbering mess

Also, thanks cah-ching for your post - you've prompted me to be honest about how I have been feeling, so here's a pic of my new SRI to wet your appetite

okay, okay it's not my Veccy but you get the idea - must go back to the dealer and take some pics!

Anyhoo, you guys have been fantastic and I have to admit that I didn't expect any replies once I had said how I was really feeling. This is no reflection on the group and more my perception of how I expected you all to react and I can't even begin to express my thanks

Have a great weekend!

Dan

btw, are there any South Coast support groups or meets? I did want to attend Meggie's meet at the O2 but afraid it fell on the wrong side of pay day!

 

[sukay]

.........

Galm37 - I'm currently on Forceval & 500mg of Calcium a day and I've even bought a pillbox to ensure I take them every day! I'm getting at least two litres of fluid a day, including one litre of semi skimmed milk with 40g of protein for good measure. I am in fact overdue for my two month blood tests and need to make an appointment (please feel free to slap my wrists!). I'm really hoping that they show I'm deficient in something so there's an easy answer to me being permanantly exhausted - I haven't felt this wrecked since before CPAP!

I definately feel that my tiredness is related to how low I feel at the moment - If I can just get that under control I can cope with everything else, tiredness has always been the one thing that leaves me a gibbering mess

..............................

Hi Dan - well done on your fantastic progress

One thing that came to mind was Vit B12 - are you having your injections?

I had to have my second one recently and there was a noticeable difference for me, before and after the shot. I really felt tired and lethargic beforehand but put it down to life stresses. However afterwards,I found I had more energy,