Oh blimey...HELP PLS!!

[Phojay]

Have my pre op assessment tomorrow and just had my mother on the phone questioning why I'm doing this. She says if I say I've tried all the diets and pills and they didn't work, by having a bypass which is irreversible, I'm setting myself up for major problems when I cant eat what I want.....she asked so many questions and was so negative about everything that in the end I was totally confused and couldn't really explain myself.......now feel totally awful and scared ****less that I'm making yet another mistake....dont know what to do about tomorrow now....advice please anyone...anyone.....anyone........

 

[yasmine-samara]

I think if you write down all the questions that are buzzing round in your head that you don't feel you can answer and ask about them tomorrow. Please don't panic about tomorrow. Remember that you can say no to this surgery right up until the point that they put you to sleep so that should give you plenty of time to find the answers to your worries and ensure that it is the best decision for you!!!

 

[Lyn8124]

Hiya. Were you kinda having doubts about wls anyhow? I know wls isn't an idea taken lightly or a whim, we do a lot of research on it and think of nothing else over and over whether it's right for us (if you're anything like me, which is why I haven't come to a decision lol). In my heart of hearts I know it's my only answer if I ever wanna get healthy it's just I can never make my mind up...oops sorry I am rambling about myself now.

I think your Mum's probably just worried about you and if she hasn't a weight problem she won't fully understand but sometimes we just have to follow our hearts and do what we know is right for us and just believe in it.

I say go for your pre-op assessment and see how it goes. I Should probably take my own advice there!

 

[thinkbethin]

first of all you need to calm down.Take a deep breath and think about the journey you've had so far. The reasons you decided on wls in the 1st place.The life you are wanting to have which will be possible and not just a dream if you have this op. your Mum is probably so scared for you and obviously does'nt understand the procedure like you do. You have done all the research and had mini's as well to help you understand but your mum has'nt. when you go for your pre op tomorrow ask for as many leaflets with the information of your surgery choice and show these to your mum. It may help her with a little more understanding.Good luck xx Gaynor xx

 

[swizzlestick]

Sorry to hear of your stress Phojay, I think mum's have a nack of interogating us in a way that makes us confuzzled, it's not deliberate it's a genetic imperative . If it wasn't for the fact that minimins is probably your refuge I would suggest you telling your mum to join and ask questions about the procedure for herself. Maybe you could point her to some websites that have good info without it encroaching on your own little private community here.

As everyone else as mentioned, you have time to think it all over, and I have to say, if you get to the theatre and you still aren't sure you can say no. It would be better if you could come to that conclusion before that point though really

This is about YOU what you WANT what you believe is best for YOU. Your mum is naturally going to be worried and to be honest she wouldn't really be doing her job if she didnt make you think seriously about it would she.

Go to your appointment tomorrow, you have nothing to lose but a lot to gain, it may help you come to your decision either way.

Sounds to me like you have last minute nerves. You will make the right decision, whatever that may be Xx Good Luck

 

[quetiapina]

Hi Zorica, yes, Mum's worry - that's their job ( although when I told my parents they said "Thank God for that"). You will have the opportunity to ask loads of Questions at the consultation and you won't have made your decision lightly in the first place. I think it can be very hard for other people to understand the yo-yoing diets and despair that lead us to the WLS decision.
The very best of luck for tomorrow and do as YS and Gaynor say - write list of Questions and get info for yr Mam.

 

[BlueDiamond]

 

[wellington]

Hi

Like you my mother is always questioning me about Bypass surgery and is very negative, and always trying to through a spanner in the works, saying would a band not be better and why dont you just try to keep losing weight as i have a balloon in and will have this for another 3 months and have lost over 3 stones although this is only a means to get surgery hopefully, my mother and sister have been trying to put my off for ages, and like you it definately has you thinking, but you need to do this for you, as i am not going to be put off as i feel like you i have researched it and know for my eating habits it is the only way, you have got this far so have obviously put a lot of thought and research into it and have not entered into this lightly, sometimes you need to just do things for you, I am sure your mother is only worried for you though

Good Luck and Take Care Gail x

 

[topsy]

Parents worry especially if a situation is taken out of their control as they don't want anything to happen to the much loved children (and that's how they still see us) lol More important than your mum's reasons why your doing this is your reasons why your doing this. Get answers to your question from the medical staff and the very experienced people on this forum. I know there is a thread about suitable reading material for bypass or band ops that may help both you and your mum. I wish you luck for your future and hope one day to see you on the losers bench with all the others. Sending hugs with fairy dust to keep you calm and focused.

 

[Phojay]

Thankyou all so much for your words of encouragement....I truly think this forum is fantastic at gathering up fretful people and hugging them better! Had my pre op appointment, had basics done, blood pressure, temp, pulse, blood oxygen, swabs, ecg, blood taken and all important weight (arghhhhhh!! god I hope thats the last time I have to see that amount of binary numbers!) She said all was ok and just given time to arrive on monday morning.....still unsettled now as to whether I'm making the right choice of bypasss over band so prob going to try and contact my consultant tomorrow for advice again (prob still be dithering as I'm going into theatre!)

Anyway, major thanx to all again for your words of encouragement after my yuck conversation with mother!

 

[thinkbethin]

Glad it all went well today. Yes dicuss your fears with your surgeon because he probably has this with most of his patients so will understand where you're coming from. He won't do anything you don't want him to so be honest with him. Good luck for monday.
xxGaynorxx

 

[Phojay]

Lots of best wishes for you too Gaynor for Monday...how you feeling?

 

[thinkbethin]

impatient!!! I just wish it was all over and done with now lol. The wait (as many others on here will tell you) is the worst part of this journey but I'll get there in the end. Not nervous though but I was'nt when I went in for it last time. Thanks for asking xx

 

[Snowcrystal]

If you were not nervous, you would not be normal. Being a little nervous shows that you are not doing anything blindly.

Your Mum is just getting worked up as the date looms nearer. I want surgery too, but I have to be honest and admit if it were my daughter I'd be nagging her to change her mind about the surgery.

As Mum's we tend to look after everyone else.

You are going to be fine...Remember the reasons you chose the bypass in the first place and how you came to make that decision.

All the very best for Monday...Let us know how things ago as soon as you can please.

~~~X~~~

 

[iinklii]

I'm so not gonna tell my mum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Snowcrystal]

I'm so not gonna tell my mum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL>>>>>>>>lol.......Yes U will!!!

~X~

 

[ladybird_gal]

You will eventually i'm sure. I'm not telling my mum until after the event - she lives away from me, so hopefully she won't realise i'm not at home. She lives on her own, is in her 80s and would worry too much if she knew. We all know our own families well and because we do this for ourselves, there is a time and a place to tell who we choose to. Take care. xxx

 

[fairyringuk]

Zorica sorry you are feeling so confused I know exactly where you are coming from, I think I have made up my mind then I question is it really what I want or need.
I think it is only human nature to do this.
You mum is probably really worried a. about the surgery and b. about how you will react after surgery when you cannot eat what you were
That may even worry your mum. Although I am going to have a procedure myself I would be worried sick if it was my daughter considering the by pass lol...............I am glad to say my daughter, and rest of close family are very supportive
I am glad your appt. went well and I think the others are giving you good advice about speaking to your surgeon again, who no doubt will allay most of your fears, but yes you are going to be nervous, and I will be like you still thinking if I am doing the right thing when they are injecting the diazapam into my vein!!!!!!!!

Good luck Jay xx

 

[fairyringuk]

Gaynor good luck for Monday hope all goes well and no more hiccupsxxx Jay

 

[Lyn8124]

Oh I'm glad things went well at your appt, you sound like me, a real ditherer lol. I think I am more apprehensive about sticking to the pre-op diet.