Omg i am falling out with everyone!

[Linski]

As the title says I seem to be falling out with all my loved ones lately.

Thursday - had ruck with hubby totally his fault honest! Spoke to me like I stuck to his shoe for no reason at all in front of 5 family members. I let rip and didn'y cook, wash,iron,do sandwiches for him until today.

Monday - had run in with youngest daughter who is pregnant and her partner has not been round for over a week. I am worried so asked her what was happening. The usual - mind your own business, nothing to do with you, butt out of my life, just because I live under your roof, doesn't mean you can have a say in my life etc,etc. I absolutly wait on her hand and foot. So she copped the length of my tongue.

Tuesday - low and behold had huge row with eldest daughter. Family friend of 47 years has died and he and his wife were true wonderful friends to my mom nad me as a child. Totally adored my eldest and she said she did not know if she was coming to funeral as couldn't stand their daughter. I said I couldn't believe she said that after how good they were to her as a child. The were generous money wise to her in particular and just lovely, lovely people. Eric would take my eldest to work in his car every day as she is disabled. That was it we had really horrible row and she said some real nasty things.

You know what I feel? I am being assertive and standing up for myself and they don't like it.
Normally I would be in floods of tears now, not tonight though I just feel more inclined to dig my heels in and sod 'em all. Show me some respect and consideration all sod the lot of 'em!

Am I being harsh? I never kick off unless I am 100% confident in my heart that it is justified.

Help - I am going to have just my little dogs to talk to soon!

I am unusually calm. But then why am I still up, wide awake typing this at 2 in the morning?
Linski

 

[thinkbethin]

Aww sweetheart I really feel for you. You are just standing up for yourself and it seems they don't like it. I say let them come round and realise that you are no longer a walk over and they will respect you alot more once they get over the shock.I'm sorry to hear of your loss but let your daughter make her own decision on the funeral. These things are hard enough and for some it is just too much to handle. When she's ready she will come round and my guess is that she will be there. On a good note, your little dogs love you unconditionally and won't answer you back so if you only have them to talk to you will win every time .
You were right in saying what you think. Its obvious your family are doing the same, so hey ho take me as I am or tough sh *t.
Big hugs and stand your ground, life is too short to be worrying about those who truely don't appreciate your opinion xxxxxx

 

[Katkit1]

I agree with TBT; family are just gonna have to adjust, you are no longer a doormat, and they need to take your feelings and advice into consideration. Give them time to stew it over. Eventually they will realise you were right.
I`m sure they wont want ill feeling at Christmas.

Take care hun x

Love and Best wishes Kat x

 

[phatmomma]

Lin, maybe you need to take a little time for yourself and try not to worry about the others for a bit? You've got a lot going on in your head right now, waiting for appointments and so many questions unanswered. Without meaning to sound harsh, especially as i love the fact you are no longer being a doormat, you may be a tad sensitive at the minute. Saying that as lovely as kids are they can be selfish little shites! Take no prisoners xx

 

[sugga]

Aww sorry to here this lin, you do sound a lot like myself you know.

In the past i have done everything in my power to make my kids happy and have always put them first.

They were lovely when little but as they have got older they have turned into monsters at times.

I have 2 grown up kids, and thats exactly what they are, kids.

They still think i have to be there at there every wim, but because i have started putting myself and my two teenagers first they dont like it.

Well tough, i keep em both at a distance now and things are a lot better.

I love all my children the same and have struggled to bring them up the best i can but when they start abusing that fact which they have done until this year, then its time for change.

Its been a hard thing for me to do, as i didnt see my eldest son for 3 months because i refused to be his lap dog, and i still dont see as much of him as i would like, but health wise i feel a lot better.

He doesnt even know im having wls but i will tell him nearer the time.

I do feel for you little lovely and its very hard as its our kids and it hurts terribly, but try to stand firm.

Its time for us to have a life and they have to start standing on there own two feet....... easy to say eh.

Im thinking of you deary and hoping that you can sort this out soon.

Chin up and be brave. Huggs xxxxxx

 

[bubblyangie]

Linski,

Sounds like you have a lot going on misses, I totally understand how you feel regarding kids taking the mickey etc, and I am not saying you have said or done anything wrong, but in experience in these situations there always needs to be a peace maker.... and normally its the mom..... I know underneath it all you Love your family and are hurting at the fact you are out of sorts with them..... You don't need to be a doormat, and you do need to let them know how you feel, but then they also need to know you still love em, and are there for them...... We have an ongoing fewd going on between my x2 brothers in my family and it is so hard, especially for me as I am stuck in the middle...... so I hope and pray that you find the happy medium with your family.... hope that makes sense and doesn't seem too harsh......I didnt mean it to be.............

 

[POPPET]

Sometimes-no mostly-family don't realise how long & hard we've thought/tried to diet before we finally ask for wls

-then having admitted we need help it can take so,so long to get family,GP,PCT,Hospital & friends also acknowledging that we do need a surgery

I think some of your fallings out may be part of them not having taken on board that this really is your time & you are going to do it

But a word of caution please don't fall out with your doggies - mine is loving the post-op me,lots of tasty leftovers go Poppets way lolx

 

[cherry]

I dont think you ve been to harsh, i just think you ve been doing so much for everyone else you ve forgotten about you, i think its now high time you take time out for yourself and put in place your rules for everyone else, so they now know your taking no beep!

take some chill time now for yourself, get yourself in a calm place then let them all know whats going to happen from now on.......

love kel xx

 

[Linski]

Thanks everyone for replies. Sound advice as usual. I am having a quiet day today and am going to keep myself to myself. I feel upset but I am not going to make the first move. In my heart I feel I deserve more respect and a little consideration. I am going to make a stand and what will be will be. I could easily just pack a bag and ride off I need peace and rest.

I feel as though I am going to end up going off work with stress and I think I need to sit quietly and reflect, then decide where i go from here.

I know one thing its far more easy being a door mat and just letting them treat you how they want rather than stand up for yourself.

I have the most severe headache and although upset I slept like a log last night which is really unusual for me.

With my eldest things are complicated and when i feel more like it I will post the history on here.

Again thank you all for reading and taking the time to post, it means a lot to me.

Love to all, hope you all have a lovely day

Lin xxxxx

 

[cheekybum]

I know how you feel, I have been a door step to my family for so long. I haven't seen any of my family for nearly four months and to you know I feel better for it, all because I did not agree with my sister affair with my mums best friend husband. I was even told that my mum wished I had died on the operating table ! But you know what I am alive and kicking and thinking about yourself, that is what you need to do step back and stuff every body, they don't understand the head games wls and the wait do to you, just look after number one and the dog. Love and hugs xx

 

[dottychic]

I think you just need to concentrate on you for a while. Its not nice having fall outs, none of us would want to do it just for the sake of it but sometimes when its justified it can be a good thing. It might make them see that you are to be respected and not taken for granted. You deserve respect and sometimes you haveto fight for it. Take some time to reflect and be nice to you, you deserve it ((HUGS)) XX

 

[Bev]

There comes a time Angel, when you have to think about yourself and it's a shock to everyone when you do!

You are going through a lot yourself and have endless issues going on around you precious...

Try and close the door and chillax out of it and rest your mind and body... it really does help...

Sending warmth and love as always xxx

 

[Emma Louise]

No your not being too harsh.

Im a big fan of Judge Judy and she has some amazing thoughts on children living at home. I live at home and am so respectful to my parents. While she is living at home you own the air she breaths. I pay rent but it is nowhere near enough to cover all of my expenses, that is why i am so greatful.

Good for you for standing up for yourself. xxxx