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Question about post op impact on the mind!

This was my issue, I comfort eat when I'm stressed, had a bad day at work etc. Sometimes get home after 10pm then order a takeaway, seething after a bad day and binge eat. To me it was better to eat than hit the booze, but this will all change I hope.
 
Mmm difficult one...you dont rely on food the same as you cant eat it the same so you might find other outlets...shopping is a common one!
I still make fat jokes about myself and wonder why people are looking at me like a weirdo...now I make jokes about being underweight and wearing childrens peppa pig clothes!
My personality certainly hasnt changed though thats for sure.
Ive found once the weight starts coming off it inspires you to work harder at it. The hardest part is not seeing a fat person anymore...even at 9st I was still seeing a fat person..ive accepted now that im actually very skinny.
I still obsess about my weight though and weigh twice a week. I calorie count every day too.
Some things never change..
 
Just to add to what others have said this is a really informative and helpful thread. Thanks to everyone, especially the long timers. Lol was gonna say big hitters, but well you are none of you big. :D

I am in that category of wlsers who lost the weight (9 stone) maintained for a few years then had a big regain due to health issues.

I can relate to a lot of what has been said above, weight loss will give you some joy. It isnt the key to happiness.

I had some of my most traumatic sad times during my maintainance years. I didnt turn to food or drink though. Thats a win I guess. A lot of the joy from my weightloss came via Improvement in health.

Amazing how good you feel not having to double up on Tena Lady's :eek: not sitting on a thick towel in the car. Being able to walk without pain. I had a smile a mile wide. But life plays tricks, and things outside will still poke you with a stick...... A loved one has addiction problems, your marriage is in tatters, your own child is on life support.

No operation can give you happiness, but it might help you enjoy what you have whilst it is there and deal with things because you are fitter when dark clouds gather.

I am in second chance saloon, with my revision. Just want as much health back as I can so I can hold my loved ones close.

Hope you all get the same. :grouphugg:


Great topic classy lady, thank you. :flowers:
 
Debs! said:
Hello

without boring people into a reading induced coma - I, like many others, use food to comfort, to reward, to soothe, in anger, in joy - and even when unaware!

I generally do the 'jolly fat bird routine' - sassy and sarcy with me being the butt of most of my withering 'jokes'. I know its a thinly veiled coping mechanism.

Now, I've convinced my tiny brain that if I was thinner and healthier without doubt I will be happier.... Thus if I work to lose my reliance on food - happiness will drown me and the world will be good....

I am a little worried about what I do if I do get thinner and realise it was not just being fat that made me unhappy!

Anyone else have these super weird conundrums?!?!
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Debs, first of all, have you ever considered becoming a writer; you have such an easy empathetic style. You take the reader on such a relateable thought journey. Or, maybe I am projecting and it's just that I totally get what you are saying. I quite often 'spiral' into 'hyper analysis mode'.

All I know is, I can't wait to stop being hit with the fat stick. The judgements other people make of you are wicked. It would seem that being fat is worse than being a criminal; smokers, alcoholics and drug addicts have all had this 'sneer campaign' in the past but now it's us that are the pariahs.:break_diet:
 
Debs! said:
Hello without boring people into a reading induced coma - I, like many others, use food to comfort, to reward, to soothe, in anger, in joy - and even when unaware! I generally do the 'jolly fat bird routine' - sassy and sarcy with me being the butt of most of my withering 'jokes'. I know its a thinly veiled coping mechanism. Now, I've convinced my tiny brain that if I was thinner and healthier without doubt I will be happier.... Thus if I work to lose my reliance on food - happiness will drown me and the world will be good.... I am a little worried about what I do if I do get thinner and realise it was not just being fat that made me unhappy! Anyone else have these super weird conundrums?!?!
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Debs I too think you have an amazing writing style

When we get thinner we will find something else to fret over.....I'm sure of it. But at this stage thinner is the holy grail xxxx
 
I know that we have/had our weight problems but with all the pressures on women today to look good maybe you aren't that far removed from naturally slim women. How many times have you heard women say they are fat/need to lose weight/can't fit into their cloths any more? I think it is universal for women worry about their weight. I realise that it may be different as we know what we look like as fat people. When I look in the mirror, I realise that I am big but I don't think I look too bad. It's only when I see a photo of myself that I realise that I am 23 stone and look every ounce of it! I have heard from so many people that their mindset is the same after surgery and they still find it difficult after surgery to not eat. I have wondered if having hypnotism would help.

Debbie
 
I have thought about hypnotism too, my Mum had it to help her stop smoking and it did work for about a year but then she became stressed about selling her house and started smoking again. Her coping mechanism is smoking mine is food.
If I feel stressed I eat but then I feel really guilty about what I've eaten I get even more stressed, it's a vicious circle that's hard to get out of.
I went out on Saturday for the first time in ages but I nearly didn't go. I hate walking in to pubs and I never go to the bar because I'm convinced people are making comments about my size. "Look at the size of that" "Look at that fat cow" etc I always find a seat by a wall, preferably in a corner and I won't go to the toilets unless I'm desperate. If a seat has arms or looks flimsy I won't even attempt to sit on it because I'm worried I'll break it.
God, I sound like a right miserable mare!!
On the plus side I have a lovely husband and 3 kids who love me no matter what my size, I'm really close to my Mum and brother and I have some great friends. :)
 
I am the same Tracey. You have to quickly take in what sort of furniture they have, particularly chairs. You have to be so aware of your surroundings as soon as you walk in anywhere. How relaxing it must be to just go out without going through all the torment! One day!!
 
Unless your overweight or have been you will never be able to understand what it's like to live consistently checking your surroundings looking at where you sit and what on and is it stronge enough to.hold my weight ...and god forbid if it collapses !!!! I hate that moment when you've gone out to a bar and other have occupied tables nearby so you desperately scan the area and look for ways you could leave without having to ask them to move so you can get through and hearing their tuts as they move ....its so upsetting .....x
 
I find I'm always aware were I park the car I always tried getting a parking spot on the end so no one could park next to me so I couldn't get back in the car that was my biggest worry and if I couldn't get an end bay I'd always leave a big gap.
 
Hi Deb... Its a great question and one I totally relate to. I know that post op tomorrow I'm going to have to make a heap of changes that just wont limit to food. I'm thinking about doing some volunteering and getting our more generally with the dog and the kids.

That's the plan anyway..
 
I have been married for 31 years and in that time I have seen clothes and just made a comment that I like it.if it was a coat, he will tell me to try it on and, despite my protests that it won't fit, kept on until I would try it on and go through the humiliation of proving that it did not fit. We would go out for meals or tea and a cake and he will sit somewhere unsuitable so would have to move. Recently we went for a cuppa and he scanned the room checking for appropriate seating. When we got home I cried and told him it was the first time he had seen things from my point of view. Don't get me wrong, he has always done things to make me happy and I he has never been nasty to me about my weight but he hasn't been aware of the things I have to look out for when we are out and about.

Debbie
 
Gladys Friday said:
I have been married for 31 years and in that time I have seen clothes and just made a comment that I like it.if it was a coat, he will tell me to try it on and, despite my protests that it won't fit, kept on until I would try it on and go through the humiliation of proving that it did not fit. We would go out for meals or tea and a cake and he will sit somewhere unsuitable so would have to move. Recently we went for a cuppa and he scanned the room checking for appropriate seating. When we got home I cried and told him it was the first time he had seen things from my point of view. Don't get me wrong, he has always done things to make me happy and I he has never been nasty to me about my weight but he hasn't been aware of the things I have to look out for when we are out and about. Debbie
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((((Huggs)))). Things will be changing!
 
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